“Soft despotism is a term coined by Alexis de Tocqueville describing the state into which a country overrun by "a network of small complicated rules" might degrade. Soft despotism is different from despotism (also called 'hard despotism') in the sense that it is not obvious to the people."

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Elephant "Person of the Year", The Solar System.

After 216,000 hours of deliberation, examined at every possible angle and galactic analysis for the slightest glimmer of "political incorrectness": after spending $3,955,629,973.22, an elephant of color, in this case gray, has divined the person of the year.

We anguished over the term "man of the year." Although it can claim literary superiority over the more generic term, "person of the year", we decided form should follow non-conform and as "anonymous" constantly prods us about our lesser circulation, we bent to the broken clock.

Inspired by the ingenuity and bravery of Time Magazine we looked at the big picture. At the end of the day, actually at the end of time, we concluded that every particle had its place in time. Each element, erg, proton, light beam and quark of life was examined. We considered the diversity of the un-diverse and the inclusion of the excluded. X-rays were welcomed as in-rays. Little known accomplishments were valued for their contribution to the fabric of, well just about everything. Who can conclude that one element of life is more important or exalted over any other? Who can judge? Inspired by the concept of non-judgmentalism and equivalence, we glanced at the work of our media brethren at Time. Read these inspiring words from Time:

"To be sure, there are individuals we could blame for the many painful and disturbing things that happened in 2006. The conflict in Iraq only got bloodier and more entrenched. A vicious skirmish erupted between Israel and Lebanon. A war dragged on in Sudan. A tin-pot dictator in North Korea got the Bomb, and the President of Iran wants to go nuclear too. Meanwhile nobody fixed global warming, and Sony didn't make enough PlayStation3s.

But look at 2006 through a different lens and you'll see another story, one that isn't about conflict or great men. It's a story about community and collaboration on a scale never seen before. It's about the cosmic compendium of knowledge Wikipedia and the million-channel people's network YouTube and the online metropolis MySpace. It's about the many wresting power from the few and helping one another for nothing and how that will not only change the world, but also change the way the world changes..."

Time is on to something. The Elephant, possibly on something, considered this:

“For example, in different laboratory experiments protons are studied at energies that range over 21 orders of magnitudes, from ~10-27 J, or in terms of temperature ~50 ┬ÁK, in Bose-Einstein condensation of hydrogen, to ~10-6 J at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) that is being built at CERN. Theoretical physicists, who are not limited by practical concerns, discuss energies that are even many orders of magnitude higher.”

With all that in mind, how could anyone conclude less than that the entire solar system is the true "Person of the year."


  1. I'm Person of the Year!!! YEHAAA!

    So, where's my prize money Time Magazine? Pony up, you cheap f***ers!

  2. Ahh, give the award to those hurricane experts who gave such dire predictions about last season

  3. Excellent choice and well written.
    Some past winners.

    1938.... Adolf Hitler
    1939.....Joseph Stalin
    1942.....Joseph Stalin
    1957.....Nikita Khruschev
    1976.....Jimmy Carter
    1979.....Ayatulllah Khomeini

    One wonders how they missed Mao?

  4. Mr Jack Kelly does not believe that Mr Kofi is worthy

    "... Mr. Annan's term as secretary general mercifully came to an end last week. He gave a valedictory address Monday at the Truman library in Kansas City, where he was sharply critical of the United States.

    "Kofi Annan served as secretary general during 10 of the most difficult, complicated and dangerous years of the U.N.'s history," said Sen. Chuck Hagel, R-Neb., in a fawning introduction. "He did it with grace, humor, determination and always doing what he felt was in the interests of mankind."

    Those who persist in seeing the United Nations and Mr. Annan as they would like them to be instead of how they are are mentally and morally challenged. Kenneth Cain, who served in U.N. peacekeeping operations in Rwanda, Haiti and Liberia, is not.

    "Liberal multilateralists on the left, like me, are often skittish about offering too pungent a critique of Mr. Annan, because it offers aid and comfort to the 'enemy' on the conservative unilateralist right," he said. "But if anyone's values have been betrayed at the U.N. over the past decade, it is those of us who believe most deeply in the organization's ideals." "

    Good riddance

    Kofi Annan's U.N. has produced more scandal than peace

  5. Mr George Will discusses Mr McCains delemia, vis a vie Iraq

    "... But just a few days ago Iraq's president, Jalal Talabani, ridiculed U.S. efforts to train Iraqi forces ("What they have done is move from failure to failure") and rejected the idea of increasing the number of U.S. advisers embedded with the Iraqi army, saying that would subvert Iraq's sovereignty. This complicates McCain's position, which is that "it would be immoral" to keep sending U.S. troops to Iraq to maintain current numbers merely to "delay our defeat for a few months or a year."

    So, if the president's forthcoming speech on Iraq does not announce an intention to significantly increase U.S. forces in Iraq, at what point does McCain call for the liquidation of an "immoral" policy? He honorably would prefer not to call for that, even though doing so would serve his political interests by making his position on Iraq congruent with the electorate's. ..."

  6. D'you think he's really a bigot?

    Thats a trifle hasty.

    Maybe hes just one of those flat earth fellas who never heard of Copernicus?

  7. Though those Time fellas are surely a bunch of sheet-wearing cross-burning inbred redneck specie-ists.

    4.6 million species on earth and they inadvertently pick all the individuals from ONE species?

  8. But maybe its all a hoax. 216000 hours is just over 24 years, kinda long time to look for person of the year, less its divided man hours over more than 24 people.

    S***, that don't work neither, even if they work 12 hours a day it'd be a years work for 50 people. Ah bugger, weekends too. If we posit a 40 hour work week that'd be ... one years work for 100 people. Makes sense now.

    And whats with the $3,955,629,973.22 ? That's only like 4 billion minus change. Bulls***, NASA couldn't send a dog into orbit for 4 billion, let alone a whole elephant.

    Isn't "gray" prison slang for white people? The elephant : He? She? Transgender? Queer?

    We can't decide on the correctness of these ruminations without knowing .... aw crap, elephants aren't even ruminants....

    I've been gypped!
    - Antonio Gramsci,
    shortly after purchasing fish at a market in Naples 15th December 1928.

  9. The French, they may qualify for inclusion, or not.
    PARIS -- France is to withdraw its 200-strong special forces from Afghanistan, all of its ground troops engaged in the U.S anti-terror operation there, authorities announced Sunday.

    The decision to pull the elite troops, based in the southeastern city of Jalalabad, comes as the Taliban militia are gaining strength despite the strong engagement _ some 32,800 troops _ in NATO's International Security Assistance Force. France has balked at sending its 1,100-strong NATO contingent outside the relatively safe Afghan capital, Kabul. ...

    ... Despite the pullout, Alliot-Marie said that France intends to maintain its air power "which has backed up coalition forces numerous times" and is adding two helicopters in the advanced zone between Jalalabad, in the southeast, and Kabul.

    She said that France also plans to train Afghan special forces "because it appears important to us that the Afghans see that it is their own forces which are retaking the theater" of war. ..."

  10. there's an echo in here

  11. Plebe goes to see Ollie Oligarchkingstein, head of Marketing, Time Inc.

    Plebe: "Who got the stupid idea for Person of the year this time?"

    Ollie: (frowns, clears throat)
    "I did."

    Plebe: "Congratulations, Sir!
    A Stroke of Genius, if I do say so."

    Ollie: "Right, Smith, we'll sell a million extra copies, those Putz Gentiles'll buy anything."

    Hat Tip: C4

  12. anonymous said, "One wonders how they missed Mao?"

    John Lennon said if they go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, they ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow, and this spooked their advertisers.