“Soft despotism is a term coined by Alexis de Tocqueville describing the state into which a country overrun by "a network of small complicated rules" might degrade. Soft despotism is different from despotism (also called 'hard despotism') in the sense that it is not obvious to the people."
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Be Careful How You Use Your Cell Phone
THE JOY OF TEXT – OR CALL OF LOVE? Mobile usage can predict our intentions in love
We all know that Britons have committed to a life-long relationship with their mobile phone. Now researchers have found that our mobile habits can give early pointers to the outcome of our intimate relationships, even revealing whether we are looking for love or just plain old lust
According to a new study by dating service PARSHIP.co.uk looking at the dating habits of singles across Britain, love-cheats, two-timers and all-round commitment-phobes are twice as likely to arrange a first date by text, than those looking for love. The study of 1,000 single people discovered that six out of ten (60%) of casual daters use text to arrange their first meeting, whereas voice calls were the choice of over two thirds (67%) of people looking for a serious relationship.
Text on a first date?
The texting doesn’t stop there. The study also found that singles looking for a fling are five times more likely to text their date immediately after a rendezvous: 16% get their thumbs working, compared to just 3% of those on the look-out for real love. People in the latter category take a more considered approach to following up that first meeting. Not wanting to seem either over-keen or uninterested, the majority make a follow-up call within two days - 34% the next day and 41% the day after that. Most flingsters take a more laid-back approach, 47% get back in contact within a week, while 11% say they would simply wait to be contacted.
Psychiatrist and dating expert, Dr Victoria Lukats, who led the research on the PARSHIP singles study, commented: ‘If someone is really keen and thinks you’re relationship material, they are more likely to do everything they can to win your heart. Whilst phoning someone you don’t know very well to arrange a date may be more nerve-wracking, people who are really taking it seriously will feel the extra effort is worth it.’
‘Texting has caused a minor revolution in the way we communicate in the early stages of a relationship, but singles looking for love would be wise to take note of this research. A few friendly texts can be fine, but the recipient is likely to view texts or emails as being more impersonal – everyone knows they don’t require as much effort as a phone-call.’
Don’t text me, I’ll text you
The mobile’s dominance does, however, falter when it comes to ending a relationship, with the highest proportion of singles preferring to do the deed in person: one third of them (30%) ended an affair face-to-face. 22% resorted to the long-distance silent treatment, with as many as 28% of men (vs just 16% of women) preferring to simply ignore their latest ex. Phone was the choice of 16% for that difficult conversation, while 15% chickened out with an email and just 14% with a text message.
What’s more, 42% of singles (38% of men and 47% of women) say they have been duped in the past by love cheats who claimed they were single, but were in fact either married or in a serious relationships. Only 11% people looking for a serious relationship claim to have two-timed, compared to 20% of this looking for a casual fling.
Other findings from the PARSHIP singles study found that:
Singles from the North of England (47%) are the most likely to arrange a first date by text. What’s more, 46% of singles from the North say they have date a two-timers, compared to just 36% from Scotland.
In the last 12 months Britain’s singles made 30.4 million voice calls, sent 26.4 million text messages and 5.6 million emails to arrange a first date. - Sourcewire, UK