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Friday, January 07, 2011

Part 2 – 2010 Bosco Awards


Seee PART 1 – 2010 Bosco Awards

Wait a minute.  Damn. 

Now I’m hearing there is some other kind of ruckus at the side entrance.  Whit’s behind the bar now and indicates he is hooking up the surveillance camera so that it can be viewed on one of the big screen TV’s.  Oh there it is now.

It appears the security detail has grabbed some guy trying to sneak in the side entrance in a Mr. Potato Head suit.  He’s carrying a sign that says “Ash Potatoes ‘Hearts’ Barack Obama”.  He is evidently saying that he only wanted to shake Obama’s hand, but the security guards don’t seem to be buying his story as they are pummeling him mercilessly.  Luckily, the potato head suit appears well padded and it doesn’t look like the guy is being hurt.

Now I’m being told that his papers say he is Canadian.  Evidently, he will be held until TSA and Homeland Security arrive.  We will keep you advised as to how this all turns out.

But now, back to the program.

The Elephant Bar’s 1st Annual Bosco Awards

Welcome friends to the 1st Annual Elephant Bar Bosco Awards.

We are still getting feeds to the big screen TV’s from the x-ray machine out front and it seems like there is still a big crowd trying to get x-ray’d.  Sam is still swamped over at the secondary pat down area.  But it’s getting late and we have to start the show.

These awards recognize exceptional blogging for the year 2010, much of the best work done by posters who were fully intoxicated.  The Award itself is in the form of a 10” tall bear, cute as a button.  It would look good on anyone’s mantle, book case , or trophy shelf.

The Master of Ceremonies for tonight’s event will be …well…it’s me, Quirk.

Since this is the first Bosco Awards ceremony I will take a few minutes to take care of a little housekeeping and try to explain how the ceremony was organized.

The accounting firm of Quirk and Sons, L.L.P.C. has been holding the award results in their secret office on their secret island.  Their representative presented me with the results of the awards earlier today.

The votes on the blog posts were judged by an independent committee consisting of me.

(I should point out that when I suggested the idea for the Boscos back in April of this year, the idea was met with almost universal indifference.  Since that time the indifference has continued if not grown.  In addition, some have threatened to boycott, there has been increasing scorn, and objections have been raised against the presumption of such an idea.  There have also been threats of lawsuits and death.  I am asked not to discuss the latter due to the ongoing criminal investigation.  At any rate, the judging and the awards ceremony itself has been pretty much a one man show; however, there have been occasions throughout the year when one poster or another in commenting on another poster’s contribution indicated that a particular post should be considered for a Bosco Award.  I can pretty much guarantee you that in all those instances the suggestion was followed.)

I should at this point also tell you what is not included in tonight’s program.

1.            Our month’s long research shows that the following topics were the most talked about this year:

•             The Middle East, Israel and Palestine
•             Obama, his wife, and administration
•             The Elections
•             Politicians and Pundits as Dicks
•             Peak Oil/Ethanol/Alternative Energy
•             Afghanistan
•             China
•             Pakistan
•             Turkey
•             BP Oil Spill
•             Religion

Posts on these subjects were heated and took up a good portion of the total blog space.  The problem was that they were all so damn good.  The points and counterpoints were all concise, pointed, logical and articulate.  Each poster brought his A-game to the debate.  And while it was obvious that one side or the other had to be right, we where judging the quality of the posts not the specific subject matter.  The end result?   It was impossible to pick a winner.  So we didn’t.

2.            Any post by Anonymous was obviously not considered.  Since there are so many Anonymi it is impossible to judge who said what.  In the words of one of our barkeeps, “We got an awful lot of Anonymi on this Blog.”    Well said.

3.            The posts by one specific author were also not included at his request.  He additionally requested that he not be mentioned at all since any participation on his part could be construed as support for the person putting this program together.  Naturally, we have reluctantly bent to his request and allowed him to maintain his anonymity and his dignity.

4.            No employees of Souls-R-Us or of their affiliates, subsidiaries, agents, representatives, joint ventures, marketing agents, or the families or friends of these employees, agents, or firms may be considered eligible for Bosco Award nominations.

5.            Lastly, we have disqualified some of the extended interchanges that were posted.  Many of these involved a number of posters in an extended discussion of one subject or another.  They tended to occur mostly on Friday’s or late at night.  Many were clever and some extremely funny.  Unfortunately, we had to disqualify them because they often involved people disqualified for reasons noted above or the fact that those people may have been referenced.  Where this problem didn’t apply, it still would have been difficult to pull individual posts from the stream as this would have spoiled the continuity.  Truly unfortunate, but there you have it.

Taking these exceptions excluded approximately 80% of the total posts at the EB this year.  These exceptions helped a lot since it still left thousands of posts to review.

One special note.

Since the bar in toto decided to ignore the idea of the awards program most of the awards have already been determined by the independent judging committee.  However, there is one category that the bar can participate in if they so choose.  That category is for the EB Song of the Year, awarded to the song that best reflects the spirit of the EB.  A number of songs nominated by the independent committee will be played throughout the program.  You can vote throughout the program for your favorite and after the last commercial break  the winner will be announced.
Our law firm, Quirk, Quirk, Quirk, and Quirk L.L.P.C., has asked that I make the following announcement.

If there is a tie in votes on the Song of the Year, the tie will be broken by the Master of Ceremonies.  If there are no votes, the winner will be determined by the independent committee.  If there is any question whatsoever regarding the final result, the votes will be recounted assigning one vote to each poster who participates and “one exceedingly large” vote to Quirk.

You may also notice that occasionally screen names will be “bleeped”.   This is intended to protect the innocent (or as close as we come to innocent here at the EB).  Although, major subject matter categories have been eliminated as noted above; there will be occasional exceptions for posts that have what we determined to be special value over and above their argumentative value.  This could include their intrinsic wit, style, word structure, or any other aspect that might make them unique.

The lawyers also requested that I ask that because of the length of our program any acceptance speeches you choose to give be at most 4,096 characters.

The lawyers have also stated that in anticipation of lawsuits from tonight’s show they want to remind all attending or watching this show that claims of libel and slander are especially hard to prove and that we have a crack team of criminal and civil lawyers on alert ready to defend Souls-R-Us and its employees against any suits that may be brought.

Just saying.

Finally, let me comment on the refreshments for tonight’s ceremony. 

Unfortunately, our resources were very limited this year since I received absolutely no support whatsoever, no offers of assistance, no contributions of time or money, no…    

Well, anyway there are a few bags of Bugles over there and some Mike’s Hard Lemonade in that barrel by the wall.  Yeah, the one with the ice in it.  We have two kinds of Bugles, the ‘Smokin Barbeque’ and the ‘Original’ (they are all natural and vegetarian).  The Kroger’s down the street also chipped in four cases of Whipped Lightning alcohol infused whipped cream that was nearing its expiration date.  And for the ladies we were able to scrounge up a case of ‘blackout in a can’, Four Loko that was made before they started taking the caffeine out.  Costco kicked in a ton of paper plates and napkins.  As for the rest it’s a cash bar.

I brought a bottle of Remi Martin.  However, since there is only one bottle, it will be reserved for the Master of Ceremonies, the Independent Committee, and the representative of our Accounting and Legal Firms.  I wrote my name on the bottle so please respect.  I also have an almost full forty ounce bottle of absinthe I picked up at the duty free shop coming out of Canada.  I’m bringing it to the after-party if any of the ladies are interested.

By the way, the after-party will be held at the VFW Hall about two miles down the interstate on the right hand side.  Evidently, the VFW Hall is also a notorious blind pig.  [H/T to Rufus.  He found this out while visiting the VA hospital in Mississippi when he popped in for some drugs.]

Ok, so that takes care of the housekeeping.

Let’s take a brief commercial break and then get on to the awards ceremony.

Welcome back folks.

Welcome to the first annual Bosco Awards.  A reminiscence and retrospective of the efforts put forth here at the Elephant Bar.  And what can one say of the Elephant Bar itself?  Well, here’s what a few have said.

Gag Reflex said...

The Elephant Bar, where contentious folk gather!

Wed Jun 02, 03:30:00 PM EDT

Stella B. Starlight said...

Those elephants are sexy.

Tue Oct 05, 03:09:00 PM EDT

Anonymous said...

Good Morning!!! 2164th.blogspot.com is one of the most excellent resourceful websites of its kind. I enjoy reading it every day. All the best.

Wed Dec 16, 02:37:00 PM EST

Mr Casinos said...

Great and really wonderful. i found this site really awesome.

Mon Aug 23, 04:01:00 AM EDT

And from the Boss

Deuce said...

No one will ever accuse us of caution.

Tue Jul 20, 08:53:00 AM EDT

To which Rufus replies

rufus said...

Yeah, if "Trojan" had to depend on this bunch they'd be out of business in a month. :)

Tue Jul 20, 08:58:00 AM EDT

And finally from Whit

whit said..

http://www.puttingthefunindysfunctional.com/2009/11/punctuation-saves-lives.html>Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional: Punctuation Saves Lives

Tue Aug 10, 08:50:00 PM EDT

Yeah, I know, that last one doesn’t really apply but then Whit is always going off topic.

Well to sum it up in the words of Deuce

Deuce said...

Just do it Willie. At the EB we seek no quarter and offer none. No icon is too tall to be whacked and no earth so sacred to not be scorched with some degree of regularity.

Give us you wrinkled, your scarred, your swollen knuckled masses of kicked asses. Always welcomed at the bar that never closes.

Tue Jun 22, 05:42:00 AM EDT

Well, I guess we can all agree that's the EB.

Now on with the show.

To start the program off tonight we are going to play the first of four songs nominated as EB Song of the Year.

Again remember, if you elect to vote later in the program, the Song of the Year is meant to reflect the spirit of the EB.  Some have suggested that the nominated songs should have a more martial or conflict-orientated theme (Flight of the Valkyries or The 1812 Overture for instance); however, the committee chose to go for songs that portray the underlying ambiance of the bar. 

With this in mind, tonight’s first nominated song is:  “So Much Cooler on Line” by Brad Paisley.

All right, great way to get us started off tonight.  Thanks Brad.

Before the first award is announced, I want to send out a big welcome to everyone in the Dick’s Section.  I wanted to give a little shout out to you guys, Paul Krugman, Maureen Dowd, Keith Olbermann, Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck, Bill Kristol, everyone over there.

“Yo guys.  Drink up and enjoy!”

Oh my.  I notice things seem to be getting a little wild there.  Nancy Pelosi evidently started drinking early tonight.  She’s giggling and appears to be trying to wrestle Harry Reid’s tie off.  Rachel Maddow is blatantly flirting with Selah who is at a table on the other side of the bar.  I don’t know who the lady sitting with Selah is but she is definitely getting pissed.  And Glenn Beck is crying like a baby.

Now one of the Barbarian security guards is trying to get one of the regulars to back off.  It looks like… yeah it’s Trish.  Looks like she’s trying to force her way in so she can get Andrew Sullivan’s autograph.  Sullivan looks a little nervous but he’s smiling.

“Hey, Trish, keep it down, I’m trying to put on a show here.“

“Naw, just kidding honey.  Enjoy yourself.  That’s what we’re here for.”

That little minx.

Well back to the show.

Starting out in alphabetical order…,  naw, not really.  Just wanted to start with something that will get us in the mood.  Tonight’s first official award presentation goes to Allen.  He will be receiving the Bosco Award for The Most Non-Spontaneous Spontaneous Video award for this little gem. 

allen said...

Thu Dec 10, 07:13:00 PM

All right Allen.  Good job and congratulations.  

Melissa Etheridge is here to present the award.

The next award will…

Excuse me folks, we need to pause one minute.  The band is starting up “Hail to the Chief” and Barack Obama is now entering the bar.  All rise to greet the President as he is led to his seat in the VIP Section by Stevie Wonder.  This is causing a little confusion since someone usually has to help Stevie get to his seat.  Quite a bit of damage is occurring as he keeps tripping over tables and spilling drinks.  Whit’s over there now and is leading the president to his seat. 

Stevie now has hold of Oprah’s right boob and she is trying to fend him off.  Pee Wee Herman is trying to help.  Or is he?

I just overheard Lebron James  say, “Stevie, you are one crazy dude.  Man, wierd stuff.”

Whit is now shooing Tareq Salahi out of Obama’s seat while Michaele Salahi is asking a security guard to take here picture posing with Paul McCartney.    Oprah’s seated now and things seem to be calming down.  However, Stevie Wonder is still over talking to the wooden cigar store Indian Deuce installed near the bar entrance.

“Hey, can one of you guys help Stevie get to his seat?  Thank you.  Yes.  Thank you.  And get Stevie something to drink.  That’s right.  Thanks.”

“And thank you rat.”  I should have mentioned when I said band I meant rat.  One of the guys at the Souls-R-Us Army/Navy Store located one of those trumpets with the recording devise that the military use for funerals.  Rat was kind enough to help us out by flipping the switch and holding it to his mouth.  Looked pretty damn professional too.  Good job.  [H/T to the rat]

Well, now that things are settled down I guess we can resume.

“Well, Mr. President nice of you to make it.  Next time, let’s try to get here on time.”

“Heh.  Heh.  Just kidding sir.  It was kind of you to fit us into your schedule.  This is quite an honor.  Say waiter, run next door and get the President a hamburger.  It’s on me.  We got your back Mr. President.”

“What a great guy.” 

“Hey, cut it out you guys.  Settle down.  They’re just kidding Mr. President.  We all love you here at the EB.”

All right our next awards group includes categories where many of the award nominees were unable to attend tonight’s show.  Therefore, the Committee held a pot-luck luncheon this afternoon to honor those nominees.

The first award in this group is for Best Foreign Language Post.  The nominees are
1.            Gag Reflex for:  “Qu'ils mangent de la brioche”
Translation (French to English):  “Let them eat cake.”

2.            咪摩兔  for:

  咪摩兔 said...

Fri Oct 15, 11:13:00 PM EDT

Translation (Chinese to English):  “Amy said ... Mount rabbit financing revolving credit car loans scrivener.”

3.            Trish for:

 trish said...
"I have my opinion on Iran; you have yours."

I thought maybe, just maybe, the rough measurement of "so little" came from some visibility on the matter.

But, since here we are dealing merely in opinions, the very extent to which current goings-on - hardly a revolution but somewhat protracted turmoil, say - are not associated with us, with the Israelis, with the Sauds, is a very good thing. For this reason - along with the relative ease of abandoning any particular program, with no one the wiser, should it be headed south - covert operations were invented.

It would kinda spoil everything if the world were truly privy to the sources and amount of involvement, if any.
Thu Feb 11, 06:05:00 PM EST

Translation (Trish to Normal English):  Plausible deniability is a good thing.        [We think]

4.            The last quote also comes from

Trish for:  “Quirk! Es tut mir leid!”

Translation (German to English):  “Quirk, I’m sorry.”

By unanimous decision the committee awards the “Best Foreign Language Post” Award to Gag Reflex.  (Though, there is still some confusion as to whether the phrase means “Let them eat cake” or “Let them eat pot” either version seems to work.)

Our winner:

Gag Reflex said...

“Qu'ils mangent de la brioche”
Fri Aug 06, 05:32:00 PM EDT

Accepting for Gag Reflex is a Jerry Lewis impersonator.

Trish’s nomination for “Quirk! Es tut mir leid!” really had little chance of winning but I just really like hearing her say it.
The next Bosco is for EB Beauty Queen Award.  The nominees were all the header ladies posted by Deuce and Mel on the monthly horoscopes.

This years Miss Elephant Bar is

The Miss Congeniality Award went to

Two truly beautiful ladies.  It’s a shame neither can be here tonight to help us celebrate.

Our next category is the Interesting Video Award.  While there were many fine contenders for this award there was little doubt as to who would get it.  The winner of this year’s Bosco has posted an inordinate amount of interesting videos and so we have asked George Lucas to be on hand to present the Bosco to…

“Can we get a drum roll on that trumpet rat?”


This year’s Bosco honors a stellar year of posting by our expat in Australia.  

The posts include

sam said...

Mon Oct 25, 10:54:00 PM EDT

sam said...

Thu Sep 23, 08:35:00 PM EDT

sam said...

Wed Jun 16, 11:50:00 PM EDT

 (Sam continued...)

sam said...

Thu Sep 30, 01:15:00 AM EDT

Sam said...

Mon May 24, 12:09:00 AM EDT

Sam said...

Thu Apr 29, 09:30:00 PM EDT

 (Sam continued...)

These few posts are just a sample of Sam’s best work.  There are dozens more including

‘How To Get A Cork Out’
‘Fighter Planes’
‘Spider on Drugs’
‘Battle of Derepet’
‘Saw Stops’
‘Sport Jumps’
‘Personal Mobility Device’

They just go on and on.

And my personal favorite and tonight’s winner

Sam said...

Tue Jun 08, 02:32:00 AM EDT

“Good work Sam.  Let’s try to make it a twofer in 2011. “

Whenever a vote is taken at the EB, the following post has always garnered a lot of applause.  The Bosco for the Better Safe Than Sorry Award award goes to everyone who has ever written one of these

Comment deleted
This post has been removed by the author.
Sat May 29, 03:55:00 PM EDT

Now, our last award at today’s luncheon was presented to Deuce for his continuing brilliance in bringing stellar artwork to enhance the posts here at the Elephant Bar.  It was a difficult choice because of the magnitude of fine art Deuce has posted this year.  That being said, our choice for this year’s Bosco for Best Art of the Year is awarded to


Well, we are going to take a quick commercial break and be back in a moment.

Ok, we’re back and I notice that what appear to be TSA guys have the guy in the Mr. Potato Head suit in cuffs and they’re talking to Deuce at the bar.  Deuce is now gesturing to the ‘time out’ seat with the dunce’s cap over here in the corner, and after a brief discussion, one of the TSA guys is taking the head off the costume.
Damn.  It’s Ash.  Who woulda thunk it?

They are uncuffing and releasing Ash and it looks like his first priority is to get a drink.  He’s heading for the bar.

I gotta say it, “I love this bar.”

You people are crazy.  Bat-fuck crazy.

“Hey, Melody."

"I’ve been watching you.  Saves some of those Bugles for the rest of us."
"Heh.  Heh."

"Just kidding. Just  kidding.  Bon Appetit. Knock yourself out.”

Well, it’s time for our second “Song of the Year” nominee.

And the second nominee is”
I Love This Bar  (sung by Toby Keith)

Thanks Toby.  That was Great.
Give em a hand folks.



  1. Thank you, Quirk, and thank you, Melissa. This is a moment for the ages, and I will cherish it for at least the next 5 minutes ;-)

    Melissa, I've always been a big fan and admire your elan (the Bruce Willis look, not so much). So will you be having my baby?

    The following is not spontaneous in the least, but I like it. Thanks, Sweetie...
    "The Hebrew Mamita"

    PS: Well done, Quirk!

  2. Old Quirk decided this place needed a little mirth and mirth he delivered.

  3. It is interesting that the Left is having their own mirth about the Conservatives and the Constitution. Surely they are too smart to fall into that trap.

  4. Jeez, I feel like I'm in the presence of Genius. Great Job, Q.

    Now, I gotta go watch all the videos. It don't get no better than this. :)

  5. .

    For some reason my taste in women tends to run to the exotic. Sade. Annie Lennox. I'm never sure what it is about a women that will set me off. For some reason I kinda liked that little chunky chica in Flash Mob in the blue jeans and blouse.


  6. Let’s say you are a German dictator/enabler in the middle of planning the largest offensive in the history of the German army. What is going to occupy your time?
    Well, of course, the insulting parodies of a comedic dog.

    The United States has been blessed by the Almighty with the stupidest adversaries ever to accidentally discover bipedal locomotion.

    New documents: Hitler-mocking dog enraged Nazis

  7. Quirk I wasn't going to comment much but that is pregnant.

    Dan Cupid is blindfolds.

  8. What can I say that I didn't say about the part 1?

  9. Allen I'm glad you got to see some of the awards.

  10. .

    Flasks of single-malt scotch?

    Well, thanks WiO it's good to see someone stepping up.

    I had thought about asking everyone to bring a dish or pop (soda for the easterners) or liquor, but then I thought that might be a little boorish.


  11. I got a really good recipe from my girl friend last night. I must say it was really good.

  12. Thank you, Thank you. I would like to thank my agent, and of course all the little people, all of them.

    And finally, my 8th grade English teacher, Ms. Theodore, who did a really shitty job teaching me punctuation (please wrap it up)Oh there telling me to wrap it up. (loud music).(Gag holds award up, and kisses the leggy escort as she guides his drunk ass off stage).

  13. .

    Thanks Gag.

    A well deserved tribute to your prowess.

    By the way, that wasn't our music. Rat just accidentilly hit the button on his trumpet.

    (And let's keep the hands off the escorts. They charge extra for that. You can get a price list at the bar.)


  14. well today? I got to shoot my 1st automatic rifle...

    It was a nice 3 seconds...

    Happy Birthday to me... (not exactly, but the goat is me ;) )

  15. WIO
    when I was around 12 years old, my dad, the cop, took me to the police armory and let me shoot a Thompson Sub .45.

    I did a three round burst. First round hit the target, second and third hit the ceiling. It was promptly taken away from me.

  16. Very good quirk. I trust there is more!

    p.s. I sure BUD will pay the invoice when submitted ;)

  17. Wio, just out of curiosity what day is it. If you don't mind me asking.

  18. Stoli's.

    I splurged.

    If they'd been selling weed, or morphine, or cyanide, or anything else interesting up by the register, I would have gotten that, too.

    How many times have I heard I Wanna Be Sedated on the radio lately?

  19. I want a Marie Callender chicken pot pie, but have to settle out on turkey.

  20. "I have to settle on turkey."

    I'm sorry. Bob. Would that be one of the ones shot out of a deep-fat fryer?

    Don't give me that look, Fedora.

  21. What kind of look would you like?

  22. Interesting name that would make, Fedora.

    Even more interesting depending on the word origin or the story of the hat itself.

  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

  24. Stoli and pot pie --


    Stolichnaya (Russian: Столичная, ISO 9: Stoličnaâ, also known as Stoli) is a Russian vodka made of wheat and rye grain.

    [edit] DescriptionFermentation of Stolichnaya starts with wheat and rye grains and artesial water from the Russian city of Samara and the Kaliningrad region.[citation needed] The fermentation takes about 60 hours. Once fermentation is complete the resulting liquid is distilled four times to a strength of 96.4% ABV. This spirit is then diluted to bottling strength with more artesial well water. It is then filtered through quartz, sand, activated charcoal, and finally through woven cloth.[1]

    The brand's logo features the words "Stolichnaya vodka" in gold cursive script, over a drawing of a Moscow landmark currently under re-construction, the Hotel Moskva, where Stalin once stayed and the site of one of the first Metro stations in the capital city.

    Stolichnaya has its origins in the Moscow State Wine Warehouse No. 1 which was opened in 1901 by the authorities to ensure higher quality vodka production.

    It is likely that it was created by V. G. Svirida around 1944.[4] However, there is a trademark patent dated 1938, which is sometimes quoted as another birth date.[5]

    In 1953, Stolichnaya was introduced on the international trade show in Bern and received a gold medal.[3]

    In 1972, the PepsiCo company struck a barter agreement with the then government of the Soviet Union, in which PepsiCo was granted exportation and Western marketing rights to Stolichnaya vodka in exchange for importation and Soviet marketing of Pepsi-Cola.

    After the breakup of the Soviet Union Stolichnaya vodka continued to be produced for export in several of the ex-Soviet republics, including Ukraine.[8] The bottles retained their Soviet-era labels.

    In August 1991, the Soviet patent office revoked the Soviet agency's right to use the Stolichnaya name in Russia.[9] This led to numerous lawsuits, including what companies could market vodka under this name in the United States. On November 20, 1992, a federal judge ruled that PepsiCo would maintain the exclusive right to the name in the United States

    [edit] VarietiesStoli is available in many varieties, including:[12]

    Stolichnaya 80 proof (red label)
    Stolichnaya 80 proof (Kristal or gold)
    Stolichnaya 100 proof (blue label)
    Stolichnaya Elit ("ultra-luxury" i.e. ultra-filtered)
    Stoli Blakberi (Blackberry)
    Stoli Blueberi (Blueberry)
    Stoli Citros (Citrus)
    Stoli Cranberi (Cranberry)
    Stoli Gala Applik (Apple)
    Stoli Ohranj (Orange)
    Stoli Peachik (Peach; formerly named Stoli Persik)
    Stoli Razberi (Raspberry)
    Stoli Strasberi (Strawberry)
    Stoli Vanil (Vanilla)
    Stoli White Pomegranik (White Pomegranate)
    Stoli Wild Cherri (Wild Cherry)

    The Elit label was awarded a silver medal at the 2008 San Francisco World Spirits Competition.[13]

    [edit] MarketingStolichnaya utilizes a short code short message service (SMS) based marketing utility to market their new products. Stolichnaya also advertises heavily with digital banners behind homeplate during televised New York Yankees games.[14]

    Stolichnaya's chief rival Russian Standard Vodka aroused controversy when it questioned Stolichnaya's Russian authenticity. The international Stolichnaya is distilled in Russia but bottled in Latvia. Stolichnaya distributor Pernod Ricard responded by insisting that is an authentic Russian vodka as nothing is added or removed during the bottling.[15]

    pot pie and Stoli Blue Label - I could use some about now. the way things are going

  25. "What kind of look would you like?"

    Whatcha got?

  26. I'm pretty versatile so it's your call.

  27. There were a bunch of flavored Stoli's on sale. Or at least I think they were Stoli's.

    You don't need 100 proof wodka. Bob. You need to relocate.

    Thanks, Melody. I have no idea what that means.

  28. But thanks for clearing it up.

  29. .

    The first look, kinda oriental.

    The Capricorn ass.

    And a dancer.

    That's 'exotic' enough for me.

    (Oh, did I mention I was also into 'exotic' dancers?)


  30. .

    Golly, I thought you said you were one.


  31. Depends on what you call dancing.

  32. Whit, are putting the third part up tonight?

    And more snow tomorrow. All day...

  33. Besides, I attended mass last night through the miracle of television.

    I can't receive communion, but I can watch.

    That and Stoli's will do ya.

  34. .

    Depends on what you call dancing.

    You confuse the dancer with the dance.


  35. Though the Federals advise that there is nothing to see, that these mass die offs, they're a common occurrence:

    U.S. Wildlife Officials say large bird and fish kills are not uncommon things. In fact, there have been 90 mass deaths of birds and wildlife reported in the U.S. just in the last six months.

    Move alng, please

  36. .

    I deny any responsibility rat.

    That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


  37. .

    Saw an interesting story on the evening news.

    It seem that women's tears actually cause men's testosterone levels to drop and they reduce the sex drive.


  38. Maybe I've had too much communion wine.

    No, I get it. I'm not confused.

  39. .

    Had to check it out.

    Study: Women's Tears Lower Men's Testosterone, Sex Drive

    Men are turned off when women cry, according to a study by Israeli scientists.

    The researchers found that female tears led to a drop in men's testosterone levels, which in turn caused a dip in their sex drive.

    "This study reinforces the idea that human chemical signals -- even ones we're not conscious of -- affect the behavior of others," lead author Noam Sobel, professor at the Weizmann Institute of Science and Wolfson Hospital in Tel Aviv, said in a statement...



  40. With orange juice.

    Women's tears.

    There's a subject.

  41. .

    From the same article.

    The scientists didn't measure the impact of men's tears on female sexual arousal because they weren't able to collect enough tears from men, they said...

    It has often been said, "I would not be afraid to show my feminine side, if I had one."


  42. The secret is in what you serve.


  43. I like the lace veils worn by some in the mass on EWTN. I have no idea what the significance or symbolism is.

    Do some Catholics still do that? Apparently they do.

  44. I think my Nana use to wear a veil. I was very, very young.

  45. I doubt, Q, that YOU are the most interesting man in the whirled.

    I do not doubt that you drink Dos Equis.

  46. Geez someone can't wait for Part 3 of the Bosco's. They only come around once a year, can't we delight in each one for a while longer.

    I would like to see Parts 1 and 2 again whilst partaking of an ice cold Dos Equis.

  47. It's just an abbreviated burka, trish.

    The Abrahamic overtones are clearly evident, in both.

  48. The Judaic branch, they have their shawls.

  49. "they weren't able to collect enough tears from men, they said..."

    A man's heart is stonier.

    So sayeth Stephen King.

    I personally don't believe it.

  50. "It's just an abbreviated burka, trish."

    Oh, come on.

    I think there's something quite touching about it.

  51. 4 Arrested on Weapons Smuggling Charges

    Tempe man and 3 co-conspirators charged

    A joint investigation between ICE and ATF have culminated in the arrests of four people and the dismantling of a weapons smuggling ring.

    Agents arrested Edward Hossa, 54, of Tempe, and three suspected co-conspirators. Hossa, an unlicensed dealer of firearms, is facing federal charges for fraudulently purchasing a variety of firearms from licensed valley dealers. He is accused of illegally attempting to export the weapons to Mexico.

    Hossa's co-conspirators are referred to as "straw purchasers." Luis Gabriel Valenzuela, 36, of Phoenix, Jeremy Ray Hossa, 36, of Tempe, and Lynda Marie Yarrow, 26, of Tempe were also arrested. They are each facing charges of fraudulently purchasing firearms on Edward Hossa's behalf.

    The names, they do not appear to be Islamic in origin.
    Catholics most likely, with a Gabriel and a Marie in their midst.

    Hossa is Slovak, at least in the case of Marian Hossa on the Chicago Blackhawks of the National Hockey League (NHL).
    With a name like Marian, probably Catholic.

  52. But I am a sucker for ritual.

  53. Here's some good stuff -

    A bottle of Bacardi 151.

    Bacardi 151 is an over-proof rum. The 151-proof liquor has an alcohol content of 75.5%, compared to the usual 35%-40%.

    Due to its high proof, it is typically used as a component in cocktails (whose final alcohol concentration may be greater than that of drinks made with conventional rum).

    Due to the high alcohol content in Bacardi 151, the spirit is flammable and is used in flaming beverages such as flaming B-52s.

    Bacardi 151 was imported to America in 1995.

    It's not the 150 proof we used to drink back in the day, my cousins and I and others, but it would do. Can't remember the name of the rum we used to drink. Real priate stuff. I'd put orange juice in it.

    We weren't fooling around. Then I married a Methodist, and not a fake one. I had sobered up long before, or she wouldn't have married me.

    Quirk knows how to advertise himself, from those Dale Carnegie be a top seller seminars he took.

    Look at me, I'm Quirk, I'm Quirk!!!!

    heh :)

    I'll wait till I've seen all of it before giving a grade, though.

  54. You are right about ritual, Trish. Joe Campbell would agree with you fully.

    It's the ritual that counts, not the preaching or the doctrine.

    Cause ritual hits the heart, not the head.

  55. A veil is an article of clothing, worn almost exclusively by women, that is intended to cover some part of the head or face.

    One view is that as a religious item, it is intended to show honor to an object or space.

    The actual sociocultural, psychological, and sociosexual functions of veils have not been studied extensively but most likely include the maintenance of social distance and the communication of social status and cultural identity.

    In Islamic society, various forms of the veil have been adopted from the Arab culture in which Islam arose.

  56. In Judaism, Christianity and Islam the concept of covering the head is or was associated with propriety.

    All traditional depictions of the Virgin Mary, the mother of Christ, show her veiled.

    Veiling was a common practice with church-going women until the 1960s, and a number of very traditional churches retain the custom.

    The wearing of various forms of the Muslim veil has provoked controversy in the West.

  57. "You are right about ritual, Trish. Joe Campbell would agree with you fully.

    "It's the ritual that counts, not the preaching or the doctrine."

    I don't think that's true though.

    Ritual can be a precious solace.

    The very idea of divine ritual is extremely compelling.

    But it's nothing without the ideas and beliefs that it serves to consecrate.


  58. Right but ideas and beliefs are common as beach sand around the world. People tend to fall asleep during sermons, but during the singing and the rituals they are usually wider awake.

    And a well crafted icon like a dancing shiva is worth dozens of sermons.

    Singing, icons, communuion, candles in darkness, ritual - that's what counts.

  59. "Singing, icons, communuion, candles in darkness, ritual - that's what counts."

    No. Bob.

    God, I do love that part of it, though.

    We interpret the sacred in ways that we can understand. We take it and make it concretely special, in ways that we can readily grasp.

    Everything is filtered through us. Through what we know.

    It's the best we can do.

  60. Quirk, honestly, if you could put all this energy and creativity of yours to some practical pursuit there'd be no saying how far you could go.

  61. Ayn Ran said, you know, that Christianity's contribution to man is the indespensible idea of the individual.

  62. Right. The sacred can't be understood.

    You're right about the filtering.

    We're looking at a mystery on our own terms. How else could we do it?

    Still I'd maintain it's the heart part not the head part that get's the folks to the pews.

  63. Ayn Ran said, you know, that Christianity's contribution to man is the indespensible idea of the individual.

    Ayn Rand said wrong. The idea of the individual is a northern European idea. In Christianity you're not an individual, you are part of the body of Christ

    It's another corporate religion.
    All laid out for you. All you have to do is accept, not think.

    It's got doctrines.

  64. .

    But I am a sucker for ritual.

    Me too.

    I pretty much left the Church when they brought in the reforms of the 60's.

    Folk singers and guitars instead of organs, choirs, and Panis Angelicas; English instead of Latin; shaking hands instead of meditating as you sat silently watching sunlight through stained glass windows reflecting off the dust particles in the air, reflecting on the transcendent; the move towards ecumenism, changing the rules overnight as if they meant nothing; all it could do was to instill the conviction that new or old the rules meant little.

    Just not the same, although at least now there is a movement back towards the Latin Mass.

    You can't grow up with a tradition and then just have it pulled from beneath you by a bunch of liberal, PC, ecumenicists looking for a feel good approach religion.


  65. "Right. The sacred can't be understood."

    I think it can. I think it can be as well as we understand anything else.

    And God bless us, we do try.

  66. "Ayn Rand said wrong."

    I'm putting my Rand up against your Palin. In a cage match.

  67. .

    Quirk, honestly, if you could put all this energy and creativity of yours to some practical pursuit there'd be no saying how far you could go.

    How far I could go?

    I'm already gone Bobbo.

    When I took early retirement, it was a seemless transition. None of the problems you hear some people experiance.

    That being said, you'll be happy to hear an announcment I make after the Boscos are over.


  68. .


    Sorry, comma lady.


  69. Ritual can be so mundane though - TV has a long history with ritual viewing.

    Ritual can be risky too - a bunch of news outlets carried:

    Holy Communion in Catholic Church spreads hepatitis A virus
    Long Island parishioners warned of potential infection
    IrishCentral.com Staff Writer'


  70. Now, Q, you are stating the Islamic position on their entry into modern "Western Civilization".

    They have not given up the veil.

    And are being damned for it, by those that have.

    While so many of the postings, here at the EB, pine for those long past days, with their historic standards of cultural conservatism.

  71. Quirk wrote:

    When I took early retirement, it was a seemless transition.

    does your wife agree?

  72. .

    By the way, Rand was a nitwit.

    A self-centered bitch with a shitty outlook on life.


  73. seam (sm)
    a. A line of junction formed by sewing together two pieces of material along their margins.
    b. A similar line, ridge, or groove made by fitting, joining, or lapping together two sections along their edges.
    c. A suture.
    d. A scar.

    seem (sm)
    intr.v. seemed, seem·ing, seems
    1. To give the impression of being; appear: The child seems healthy, but the doctor is concerned.
    2. To appear to one's own opinion or mind: I can't seem to get the story straight.
    3. To appear to be true, probable, or evident: It seems you object to the plan. It seems like rain. He seems to have worked in sales for several years.
    4. To appear to exist

    gotta luv frued - seemless hunh?

  74. "In Christianity you're not an individual, you are part of the body of Christ."

    But you are known by Him as an individual.

  75. Christ, Quirk, she wasn't a nitwit.

    But we seem to be fond of that phrase here.

  76. That being said, you'll be happy to hear an announcment I make after the Boscos are over.

    If that's a veiled threat to leave you'll have me to deal with. I won't allow it.

    And I just hope too it's not that your warden is going to take your computer away.

    That man pack nuke,
    Quirk, I had taken the detonator out.

  77. And I want Buckley refereeing that cage match.

  78. .

    does your wife agree?

    My wife is quite a bit younger than me.

    For years, she encouraged me to try to get some kind of early retirement. She kept saying "There will be no issues or risks, after all I'm still working."

    Being at least a little prescient, I could imagine what the relationship would be two weeks after I retired with her getting up and heading out into the cold to go to work while I was still comfortably sleeping in bed.


    She ended up getting a buyout deal two years before I retired.


  79. By the way, Rand was a nitwit.

    A self-centered bitch with a shitty outlook on life.

    I totally agree with that and am glad someone finally said so forthrightly.

    Praise to you Quirk.

  80. God, you're not moving to Idaho are you Quirk?

  81. I loved her once, Ayn Rand, but she was always too idealistic. Today, I would find her tedious.

  82. .

    I like ducks.

    And we love you.

    Why do you insist on taking on the mantle of the red headed stepchild of the EB.


  83. .

    Speaking of which Bobbo, weren't you and your cat supposed to be out duck hunting today?


  84. "Why do you insist on taking on the mantle of the red headed stepchild of the EB."

    That's not even funny.

  85. .

    It wasn't supposed to be.

    As far as I can tell with maybe one exception everyone here seems be very fond of you.

    Constantly waiting for you to show up. Yet, you seem to feel or at least imply that everyone here is taking shots at you.

    We might joke around but you usually do that most with the people you like.


  86. Dueling fedora. You wern't kidding when you said your daughter bought two.

    Maybe I need a new bowler.

  87. "Why do you insist on taking on the mantle of the red headed stepchild of the EB."

    Why did you erase that thread?

  88. Why did you erase that thread?



  89. My last interrogation in the field...

    That's what this reminds me of.

    It involved a fork.

    It went badly.

  90. .

    Fine, forget I said anything.

    The hockey game is coming on.


  91. Funny, I just lost two comments... Can we expand on the last interrogation?

  92. quirk:

    "She ended up getting a buyout deal two years before I retired."

    heh heh! sweet.

    Blogger trish said...

    My last interrogation in the field...

    That's what this reminds me of.

    It involved a fork.

    my fuzzy memory has it as a lovely (christmas?) dinner with a general or someone...and a fork. In Latin America i think.

  93. My suggestion would be to stay away from forks.

  94. well, not a dinner with a General, like a date, but a party function...

    ... in reality it was probably trish, after a waterboarding, was threatened with a for, in the ballroom, in Colombia.

  95. heh the suddenly famous and justly so Ted Williams Chrysostrom of the Golden Voice says he has a man crush on Matt Lauer who makes him feel like a woman.

  96. Who's this Matt Lauer feller. I never heard of him.

    This is the first cable tv I've watched in a long time, except in some motels. Maybe Rob will forget to have it turned off for a month or two. After all, his room mate Mat owes me $1200, but is back in the Idaho pen for breaking his parole, and it's unlikely I could ever collect. Burglary it was, I learned today. And he seemed such a nice young man.

  97. The fork just wouldn't talk, said I never spill the beans, and blamed the whole fiasco on the spoon, while the knife cut itself an escape path through the jungle.

  98. Don't stick a fork in it, Melody, always eat with your fingers, given the chance.

  99. Melody is now looking west, when before she was looking east.

  100. The fork of course had a forked tongue like forks always have.

  101. Parallax view.

    Anyway, we sucked. My partner and I.

    We did graduate.

  102. "We did graduate."

    With a certain Marine, Arab linguist, determined to wipe his ass the the certificate.

  103. I'm taking early retiremnet to bed.


  104. Melody is always lurking behind closed doors. Beware.

    Google Matt Lauer. I can't start my day without him.

    Ted Williams is a thing of the past. I brought him up this morning while I was seemly talking to myself for an hour.

  105. "Melody is always..."

    Crashing through walls.

  106. Maybe, but he sure as hell didn't loose his voice.

  107. "Maybe I need a new bowler."

    If you need a new look I can lend you my granddaughter for the day. We did a hell of job with our dress up day.

  108. hosting a number of weekly information and talk programs in Boston, Philadelphia, Providence and Richmond

    Ah, I see, you grew up on Lauer, Melody.

    I don't see what Ted Williams sees in him, though.

  109. .

    Now, Q, you are stating the Islamic position on their entry into modern "Western Civilization".

    They have not given up the veil.

    And are being damned for it, by those that have.

    While so many of the postings, here at the EB, pine for those long past days, with their historic standards of cultural conservatism.

    Rat your mixed metaphors are tedious.

    And if you are going to aim a post at me please get your facts straight. The experience I talked of was a personal one though shared by many Catholics. The majority of Catholics in the US thought the changes were fine and proceeded along fat, dumb, and happy.

    With regard to veils, I could give a shit one way or the other. I've posted here on numerous occasions blasting Sarkozy and the French for what I think is their ridiculous position on burkas.

    Once again you try to connect the dots when there are important dots missing.

    As I recall while I was sitting there listening to the priest, there was no talk of jihad.

    While I sat there, we were not instructed to proselytize at the point of a gun.

    As far as I know, the book the priest read from wasn't edited by the Wahabi in Saudi Arabia to justify "martyrdom".

    You seem to equate dislike of Islam with the complaining about their women wearing veils. Don't complain about the conservatives, complain about the liberal PC pricks who think they have the right to ban the burka because it demeans women.


  110. Only because, Q, you came to late.

    By a couple of, or three, hundreds of years, of "reforms".

    But prior to your time the Catholic Church certainly did proselytize at the point of a gun.

    Especially in the Americas, as well as in the Pacific Basin. The Philippines and Japan.

  111. Okay, this is actually quite endearing, that an awards ceremony was interrupted by a discussion of faith and ritual.

    No, I didn't remember what I said near the end, but that's also my working defense against any "award" I might receive.

  112. Ayn Rand was extremely harsh with regard to the miracle and mystery that are the essence of religion but her positive contribution to conservative and libertarian thought has been considerable.

    For many of us, she was the first political thinker we encountered who made immediate sense.

    I've moved on, but I can't imagine my intellectual progress - such as it is - without her.

    So there.

  113. And I am completely sympathetic toward those who feel like Roy Childs.

    When asked if he'd read Atlas Shrugged, he said yes.

    And he'd only read it again if someone held a gun to his head.

    Her very strident style, like a two-by-four to the head, is insufferable to many.

    Her non-fiction, which I prefer, is like that, too, if a little easier on the noggin.

  114. It's funny.

    I read Rand aloud to my husband.

    In the bathtub.

    Which is probably the only way he would consent to it.

  115. I believe that warrants some extended analysis.

  116. What's to analyze?

    Naked wife could have been reading Green Eggs and Ham.

    It's snowing.

  117. I was thinking more on the lines of, I would like to have that bathtub.

  118. The headline writers ...

    Three views of the same event.

    Muqtada al-Sadr

    Moqtada Sadr Urges Iraqi Unity
    Wall Street Journal -

    Middle East Al-Sadr calls on Iraqis 'to resist'

    Iraq's Muqtada al-Sadr Urges Government to 'Get Occupiers Out'

    Blended, they read:
    Muqtada al-Sadr urges Iraqi unity in resisting the forces of the occupiers, while urging the government to get the occupiers out of Iraq.

    That exemplifies the US victory which was achieved, in Iraq, by June of 2003. As well as the complete lack of progress, since.

    Though we are told that patience is required to see how well the US has done. Patience, at least, until all the politicos that set the course are dead. We would not want them, or their supporters to "feel" like it was a wasted effort.

    Because, as we all know, feelings count more than realities.

    Performance counts, and the US certainly performed poorly. Especially if changing the attitude of the Iraqi people and the others in the Islamic Arc was the policy goal.

    Those folk have not embraced "Western Civilization", still.
    They are not slaughtering babies on the alter of the PC correctness we call "privacy" and "rights", still.

  119. While individual privacy rights allows the slaughter of innocents, it does not extend to anti-government communications.

    Mashable -

    The US government has asked Twitter to hand over private messages sent to and from WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange and other WikiLeaks staffers.

    Feelings, we're really all about feelings ...

  120. "I wasn't thinking of him."


    I'm an odd girl.

  121. Or as my daughter so abruptly put it:

    Where's my tribe?

  122. birds
    Why are the animals dying? Birds, fish wiped out in mysterious deaths

    the Natural News Network

  123. Just point to the Big Green Machine, trish.

    That'd suffice.

  124. My husband's wondering the same thing.

  125. "That'd suffice."

    Nope. It wouldn't.

  126. ABC News -

    The teenager who worked at a gun show where 8-year-old Christopher Bizilj accidentally killed himself while shooting an Uzi testified today he twice suggested the boy's father pick a less powerful weapon for the boy to shoot.

    Echos of gag's story

  127. Only because you're in denial.

    It supplies are your, and her, tribal needs.

    From basic sustenance to social support. To include public mating rituals which were critical to her procreation. Exemplified by the saluting in the parking lot story.

    The Green Machine, that's her tribe.

    Learn it, Live it, Love it.

  128. "The Green Machine, that's her tribe."

    Best appreciated from a distance, I have said and think I know.

    And yet it's remarkable up close. It really is.

  129. Well, folks, I am on my way to enjoy the bounty of our National Forests.

    Another day of personally profitable, Federally subsidized recreation.

    Life is Grand!

    Enjoy it whilst you can.

  130. .

    Only because, Q, you came to late.

    By a couple of, or three, hundreds of years, of "reforms".

    Then what is the friggin point?

    It's just like you and WiO arguing about who was on the land three two or one thousand years ago. It may be a way to rationaize or justify in your own minds but it means nothing. The only important thing is who holds the land now and for how long.

    Besides, you were merely using "the veil" or "ritual" as a vehicle to extend your theme that the poor muslims are being attacked by the nasty conservatives here at the EB when, in fact, it is 'progressive' countries like France that are actually stripping them of rights.

    If you are going to launch into one of these moralistic flights of fantasy direct them at WiO or the bar in general not directly at me unless you expect to get an answer you might not like. If you want to defend the poor muslims find another foil. Attack the progressive, PC poofs who think they have all the answers and the power to enforce them.



  131. If you want to rattle the Left, tell the truth

    1:57AM GMT 08 Jan 2011
    Keith Vaz, the Leicester East MP who chairs the Commons Home Affairs Select Committee, said it was wrong to "stereotype a whole community" and questioned why Mr Straw had not spoken out previously.

    Mr Vaz said he did not believe there was a "cultural problem" and called for a high-level investigation of such grooming across the UK.
    Mr Straw had told the BBC's Newsnight programme that there was a "specific problem" of Pakistani men targeting vulnerable young white girls.

    During the interview, he urged the Pakistani community to "think more clearly" about why this was going on and to be more open about what lead to "a number of Pakistani heritage men thinking it is OK to target white girls in this way".

    His comments came after two Asian men were jailed for subjecting a series of vulnerable girls to rapes and sexual assaults.

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