"You can check in, but you can't check out, but then why would you want to?"
Part 3 – 2010 Bosco Awards
Well guys, as you know people take this blog pretty seriously. Sometimes the debate gets a little heated. Words are thrown about that probably shouldn’t be. Sometimes there are even instances of profanity. Because of the freewheeling open aspect of the bar these remarks are rarely censored.
Therefore, we have taken on the responsibility of rewarding those who rise above the crass verbiage. People who have the ability to rise above the vulgarity and express their disagreements in acceptable language.
This year, there are duel recipients of the Boscos for the Best Put-Down Without Resorting to Profanity Ex-f’n award. It goes to Rufus and Doug for the following posts:
f'n doo-doo head
Mon Apr 05, 02:32:00 PM EDT
f'n running dog socialist!
Way to go guys. Thanks for adding a little class to the old EB.
Why don’t you come up and get your awards?
Whoops. It looks like Rufus is momentarily passed out. And as I’m looking at Doug he’s still talking to Danica and doesn’t seem to realize he has won this prestigious award.
We’ll have to get the guys their awards later.
I notice rat just slipped something green back into his sack. We’ll be keeping an eye on him tonight.
Especially after this
desert rat said...
You got stuff?
Want to share?
Mon May 24, 11:09:00 PM EDT
On with the ceremony, and surprisingly, Rufus and Doug also share the Bosco Retrograde Award for the following subsequent posts:
Fuck Luke. Fuck Seven Sins, and Fuck Seven Devils. Fuck Childrens Fairy Tales, and those that would use them to get My Kids Killed.
Those Afghanis don't give a good goddamned what we do. They are Not our Friends, and they are NOT our Enemies. They are poor people that mostly never get more than 7 miles from their village.
Why in the Fuck should we want to kill children in Kandahar? Why in the Fuck are we guarding poppy farms? Why in the Fuck do we let the Elitist Cocksuckers do this to us?
Oh yeah, I forgot; They read us a "Bible Verse."
Sun Jul 18, 08:12:00 AM EDT
And Doug said
FUCK YOU, MORON!
Fri Jan 22, 02:05:00 PM EST
Running out of the money but in a close third in the balloting was Sam for this contribution.
Thu Nov 04, 11:41:00 PM EDT
Commendable guys. I guess.
Waiter, could you take these awards and get them over to the guys? Thanks.
Now in rapid order we wish to announce the following awards:
The Bosco for Best Contribution to the English Language Award goes to Trish for the phrase “Masturbatory Malice”.
Which do you think is more effective, (bleep), in the art of persuasion? Unctuous condescension, sneering contempt, or savage abruptness? (We'll leave out masturbatory malice because it's not really an approach per se, is it? Rather a form of self-amusement, as (bleep) will attest.)
I'm conducting a survey.
Tue Apr 20, 07:16:00 PM EDT
The award recognizes not only the implied meaning of the idiom but also the coining of a new word, “masturbatory”.
Good work Trish.
(Note: Some at the EB have objected to this award on the basis that masturbatory is a derivation of the Latin word masturbe which actually finds its provenance in the ancient Hebrew word jerkmeoff,. Research has failed to prove this etymology and the award will stand.)
The next Bosco is for The Eternal Question Award. This year’s winner is Whit for this brilliant contribution:
Tue Jul 27, 08:59:00 PM EDT
All right Whit. Yea, show him the love folks.
Good job Whit.
The next award is The Most Insightful Observation Award. This year’s winner is Melody for this most insightful observation:
Universal truth #3
"There is great need for sarcasm font."
Thu Jun 03, 12:04:00 PM EDT
All right Melody! We need to give you an extra three stars for that one Mel.
Hey, I was kidding before, but now lay off those Bugles!
(But what a body eh guys. Woof!).
Let’s give her a hand.
Speaking of insight. I am proud to award a new Bosco this year for a category called the Mensa award.
As you know many people consider the regulars at the EB to be nothing more than an oddball collection of mercs, marauders, ex-service hard cases, men of mystery (well at least one), chicks, and demimondes. We get no respect. Well we have welcomed a new member to our little congregation who has changed all that.
This summer we welcomed The Cleaning Lady to our little group. She is being awarded the Bosco for this erudite post.
The Cleaning Lady said...
From the Baja Arizona link above:
“It is the job of government to manage the flow of money.”
The above statement is one formulation of Lester Thurow's Third Way theme postulating a more aggressive role for government in free market capitalism.
The article continues:
We have done a really poor job of managing the flow of money in our country. It concentrated into Wall Street schemes. It flowed overseas. It went everywhere expect in creating employment here in America.
It seems to me that (real) enforcement - as opposed to the cozy incestuous relationship that currently exists between the doers and the regulators - would do a lot to 'manage the flow of money.'
Actually it isn’t the “government” that is the source of the misdirected money flow…it is the special interests who manipulate the government for their private gain without any regard for the broader societal benefits.
This is where the Third Way thinking goes off the rails - every time, I might add, that Third Ways are proposed. This is the essence of an emerging theory going under the label of Creative Capitalism (google Bill Gates).
'Broader societal benefits' as a corporate objective. Doesn't much matter whether or not it works - or makes sense. The Third Way is coming.
The author goes on to suggest vision statements and win-win agendas to define 'social agendas' that escape the death trap of socialist labeling.
I agree with his concluding statements:
Republicans don’t have a positive agenda here.
But neither do the Democrats.
I would add neither does the Tea Party movement - without an intellectual foundation to give defined substance to the rebellion, it will remain nothing but a knee-jerk reaction to status quo policies.
Wed Sep 08, 09:14:00 PM EDT
As whit correctly states,
"Nice observations, Cleaning Lady. We haven't had enough thoughtful discourse in the bar, lately."
Re: Third way. The country is sharply divided and high-powered emotions swing the pendulum widely.
Sat Sep 04, 05:00:00 PM EDT
Good job Cleaning Lady. Thanks for raising the level of discourse here at the EB. Have to admit it’s way above my head, but I doubt them jerks from Pajamas Media, Ballon Juice and The Belmont Club will be coming around here soon casting aspersions with you on our team.
(By the way, the runner up for the Mensa award was Doug for this
A very thoughtful post Doug.
Well, unfortunately, I have to announce that we will not be awarding the Too Lazy to Link Award this year. As you know, the award was initially meant to recognize Trish’s lack of contribution in the link area; however, this year there were just too many nominees with basically the same qualifications.
I should also mention that this year’s Best Urban Fly Fisherman award will also not be awarded.
We can, however, show you some of the posts that would not have been considered even if we had awarded that Bosco.
"The only reason Clan Rufii uses bait is dynamite is too expensive."
Sun Aug 01, 04:24:00 PM EDT
"Why I bait fish."
From the link:
Ok this post is for all the hippie fly fishers out there that are to stoned to realize what a real women is. Everyone knows that real women fish bait!!
...and a bit farther down, below the eye candy...
"Truckee River Outfitters closing its doors...since most people in Truckee use bait there is no need for a fly fishing shop...When your entire customer base consists of stoned hippies how do you expect to have competent fisherman to buy anything?"
Sun Aug 01, 03:59:00 PM EDT
Yes, Quirk. For the riffraff who need some assistance:
...scrolling down at the same link:
http://tahoemtb.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/jesus_161.jpg?w=320&h=450>Jesus used bait!!
Sun Aug 01, 04:10:00 PM EDT
Good posts guys.
Moving on, this year’s Uh Huh. Right award again goes to Rufus for this gem:
"I shudder to do this, but I'm going to venture another opinion."
“Shudder to do this?”
Uh huh. Right.
Good job Ruf.
You had us going there for a minute with that one.
This year’s So’s Your Mother Award goes to rat for:
desert rat said...
"I have friends who have roped bears, from horse back, in the Tonto Basin.
Bring 'em on…"
Wed Apr 07, 02:45:00 PM EDT
Impressive and scary at the same time. Thank you rat.
The You Guys Give Me A Headache Award goes to Whit for:
"Obstreperous truculence at the EB: that is the new normal."
Tue Apr 06, 05:35:00 PM EDT
Another great effort Whit. Thanks.
The Fill In The Gaps When The Conversation Drags Award also goes to Whit. The following posts are just a brief sample:
"I just watched a blue jay dine on wasps, eat their larvae and pick apart the nest."
Sun Jul 04, 10:56:00 AM EDT
"Nothing like waking up on a Sunday morning to find egg all over the front door."
Sun Jul 04, 08:34:00 AM EDT
May we have many more years filled with these treasures. Thanks Whit..
The Bosco for the You Dog, What Were You Thinking award goes to that bon vivant and salty dog, Gnossos.
"Talk of teleprompters reminds me of the France24 newsreaders.
Always young and female. More often than not blond.
Immaculately coiffed and clothed.
They're placed behind a podium in a modernist studio setting.
I found myself mesmerized by the convolutions of their seductively full (bruised?) lips as they mouthed those lascivious French syllables...
So much so that maybe a week went by before I noticed that that "modernist" studio design, with mirrors everywhere, had an unexpected benefit.
The mirrors were placed, and sometimes the camera angle switched, to give viewers a profile look at those leggy beauties.
And those high tight haunches clenching and unclenching as they restlessly shifted from one high heel shod foot to the other high heel shod foot...
Sulkily evidencing impatience (in my viewing mind) with the mundanity of this scripted nonsense. Anxious to be freed from the studio. And to live...
(I am an old man...)"
Sat Nov 06, 07:31:00 PM EDT
Gnossos, you dog. What were you thinking?
And for another EB beauty, the Bosco for the Slip Sliding Away award goes to our own Ms. Stella B. Starlight for this one.
Stella B. Starlight said...
"Today, Barack Obama slipped into something more comfortable, Afghanistan, instead of Michelle."
Let’s give her a hand folks. We don’t see her in the bar nearly enough.
(We are not done with you yet. More to come.)