Quirk-
HOROSCOPE – GEMINI (May 21 – June 20)
Origin – Third sign of the zodiac; named after Castor and Pollux, twin stars and heroic brothers in Greek mythology.
Controlling Planet – Mercury
Lucky Day – Wednesday
Color – Yellow/Orange
Element – Air
Symbol – Twins
Lucky Number - Five
Compatible Signs – Libra, Aquarius, Gemini
Incompatible Signs – Scorpio, Capricorn
Famous Gemini – Che Guavera, Donald Trump, Marilyn Monroe, Patrick Henry, Ice Cube, John Maynard Keynes, Boy George, Blaise Pascal, Bob Hope, Sam Snead, Jim Thorpe, John Kennedy, George Bush, Jean Paul Sartre, Brigham Young
Gemini Quote (Male) – Salman Rushdie “What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist
Gemini Quote (Male) – William Pitt “Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom: it is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves.”
Gemini Quote (Male) – Drew Carey “You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!”
Gemini Quote (Male) – Johnny Depp “The only gossip I'm interested in is in the Weekly World News - 'Woman's bra burst, 11 injured.' That kind of thing”
Gemini Quote (Female) – Brooke Shields “If my jeans could talk, would I be embarrassed?”
Attributes – Mental brilliance, Diplomacy, Vivacity, Enthusiasm, Tact, Cheerfulness, Witty, Versatile, Superficial, Narcissistic, Vain, Indecisive, Prevaricates, Lazy, Untidy, Cunning, Nervous and Tense.
Appropriate Gemini Pets – Wolves which are seen as the nurturing force for those other twins, Romulus and Remus, is the only truly appropriate pet for the Gemini. However, most cities including Moscow, Idaho will not allow them as pets. Therefore, the Gemini should settle for a pet that doesn’t require constant attention such as a snake or worm.
Geminis tend to have dual natures. As such they offer many contradictions.
Physically, the Gemini tends to be small-boned and vertically challenged. They are often two-faced and are capable of speaking out of both sides of their mouth. They are quick and nimble and enjoy fast-paced, exciting sports with lots of action. Most jai alai players are Gemini. They have bright eyes that are constantly darting about trying to observe everything. This can be very disconcerting to anyone trying to explain anything to them. Chewing bores them. They are constantly hurting themselves by touching stoves to see how hot they are.
In social and romantic situations the Gemini duality is again obvious. Most Geminis are hermaphrodites. They like exciting, unorthodox, experimental relationships many of which because of archaic laws are still illegal in most states. They are easily bored with relationships, their family and even their kids. They are constantly looking for something new. Angelina Jolie is a Gemini. The Gemini divorce rates are exceedingly high. They will often pick fights with themselves if no one else is around.
The Geminis are quick and intelligent thinkers. Wit is their forte. They have a sharp humor and love to laugh. They are avid readers and love puns and wordplay. However, because of their dual natures they can also be quarrelsome, boasters, liars, and cheats.
It is natural for them to think on more than one level at a time. They need constant stimulation. LSD is their drug of choice.
Everyone loves a neurotic schizophrenic and the Gemini is well liked by those who don’t know them very well.
Because of their quick wit and intelligence, Geminis typically make good artists, actors, and authors. They are not good at boring, repetitive jobs or jobs that require them to be responsible for the welfare of others. No Gemini has ever won the Indy 500 since though they like the multicolored cars they tend to get bored and distracted at about mile 18. Likewise, they should not be policemen or baby sitters.
In personal finance, the Gemini often expects too much for too little. In other words he is cheap. However, this doesn’t prevent him from buying new toys and capricious whims for himself. He counters this tendency by buying old books and used x-box games as gifts for friends and relatives on holidays.
2010 Horoscope (Gemini) –
Unfortunately, every year is a rough year for the Gemini usually because they make it so for themselves.
You will soon be approached by a man from a company called “Souls R Us” offering you a valuable service.
This year, in a bout of pique or boredom, you will once again quit all the blogs you currently post to. When you eventually come back as you invariably always do it will be with a new avatar and screen name such as Boudica or Xena.
You will visit the Grand Canyon for the first time and be disappointed.
In June, you will meet the love of your life. In July, you will meet the new love of your life. And in August, you will meet the newest love of your life.
In September, Mary (your personality #3) and Helen (your personality #5) will have a dispute about the Feng Shui placement of your strobe light and glitter ball and will not talk to each other for the rest of the year.
In October, you will once more host your annual “Most Interesting People in the World” party. As advertised, the guest list will include many of the world’s most interesting people. The surf and turf buffet will be prepared by world class chefs from Europe and the Far East and will include Asian Blowfish and other dishes prepared from exotic and endangered species.
The entertainment will include several classic rock bands and will be headlined by Lady Ga Ga. As a special treat there will be an octagon death match between Pope Benedict VI and Christopher Hitchens. To even the odds, the match will take place after the cocktail hour (Based on this fact, Vegas odds currently favor Il Papa by a wide margin.).
As usual, you will grow bored quickly and retire to bed by 8:30, long before fireworks begin and the elephants arrive.
In December, you will experience severe mood swings just like those in November and previous months.
Avoid bright shiny objects, mirrors, and hot stoves.
Next Month: Cancer (monthly personalized horoscopes available by request)
• This month we will be offering a new service, numerology readings. Rate cards are available explaining the service along with our latest pamphlet: Gemini and the Number Five: A Five Lane Superhighway to Heaven, or to Hell, or to Both if you like.
• Private readings still available for female members of the EB.
• We are continuing to offer souls for sale under our exclusive “Souls R Us” brand. Souls are continuing to poor in from our New Zealand suppliers but we have recently received notice from the EPA of complaints lodged by our neighbors regarding “soul leakage” from around our warehouses. Therefore, we are further extending our previous offer and will be giving souls packaged in jelly jars, empty votive candle containers, virgin olive oil cans, and five gallon pails as free prizes to anyone using any of our other services (horoscope, tarot or numerology readings).
[Note: Souls will also be available free to anyone having a pick-up truck or small van.]
• Discounts are available to fellow Rosicrucian’s. Bartering alternative available. Secret knowledge accepted. Secret knowledge from ancient Babylonia and Atlantis preferred.
Great work on that horoscope, Quirk.
ReplyDeleteFirst rate.
Got more than a couple of chuckles.
As to the "War on Oil" the usual suspects on the Left, at the NYTimes, are starting to beat that oil drum, comparing the Deep Horizon not to Katrina, but 9-11-01.
ReplyDeleteNo, the gulf oil spill is not Obama’s Katrina. It’s his 9/11 — and it is disappointing to see him making the same mistake George W. Bush made with his 9/11. Sept. 11, 2001, was one of those rare seismic events that create the possibility to energize the country to do something really important and lasting that is too hard to do in normal times.
Deep Horizon offers one of those seismic moments, as well.
"Drill Baby Drill" will not carry the day, not with the vast majority of the electorate. Those that have been raised up in our educational melting pot, the vast majority.
But adding a couple of hundred million acres of now fallow lands to our productive capacity, while limiting our energetic balance of payments problems at the same time phasing in a more carbon neutral liquid energy source than pure petroleum....
Why, amigos, that is a real winner. Satisying to evey sub-section of the "Mainstream", at one level or another.
Even if it may not be perfect, not completely market driven, it is better than the status que.
There are national and economic, as well as environmental security concerns at stake.
We need to beat that oil drum.
The danger, is that the NYTimes storyline will carry the day, their plan for victory in the War on Oil will be the course followed.
ReplyDeleteCarbon taxes and the like.
A political battle royal, the outcome of which is unknowable, today. But will, without doubt, draw our eyes from the prize.
The status que will prevail, the Wahhabi banking our cash, in the Alps.
A Green Solution, a proactive, pro-growth solution is really needed and no one in either Federal Party will breach the subject. But a crash program to deliver 250 million acres of nearly carbon neutral bio-fuel feed stocks and the associated infrastructure required.
That'd be a winner.
A grow the pie solution vs the carbon tax.
ReplyDeleteBut to fight something, with nothing, is to lose.
“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’" George B. Shaw
Absolutely, the Best Damn Hosroscope on the Net. Great work, Q.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ruf; but the best part is the pictures Deuce has been posting with them. Those automatically improve a persons perception of what follows.
ReplyDeleteLikewise, while I try to keep them EB centered some of the stuff comes from the net. Like the wolf part. Surprisingly, its difficult finding out anything about the Gemeni and their pets.
.
Facts, we don't need no steenkin facts.
ReplyDeleteWe're here for the entertainment.
Great Job.
And, yes, Deuce's artwork is, Definitely, first-rate. Really is some of the very best (if not "The" best) on the web.
ReplyDeleteYou've got an, absolutely, excellent talent for writing comedy, Q. Those references to the hot stove were perfect.
ReplyDeleteNow, for the burning question of the day: How do we keep the Greenies, and Socialists from taxing nat gas, and coal, and get them to take positive, proactive steps in losing our Dependence on Oil?
ReplyDelete"You will visit the Grand Canyon for the first time and be disappointed."
ReplyDeletewrongo, no one what visited the Grand Canyon for the first time, and been disappointed. But be careful going down, I recall how our hero almost lost his life on a ledge there, far from human ear, in http://www.amazon.com/Desert-Solitaire-Edward-Abbey/dp/0345326490--so be careful, and you can be embedded with a find you chip, these days. Happy wandering...KNOW THE STRATA---Know Kaibab Limestone
The Toroweap Formation
Canyon's Coconino Sandstone
History, Hermit Shale
Study Supai Formation
Rocks Redwall Limestone
Made Muav Limestone
By Bright Angel Shale
Time Tapeats Sandstone
That's political, rufus.
ReplyDeleteHave to get the great American Middle to accept that there are viable ethanol solutions to Wahabbi or imported oil, depending upon the audience.
That the Obama initiative against deep water exploitation is fully embraced and expanded upon. To include those Cuban and Chinese platforms that Deuce mentioned. Maybe even Hugo's.
Call on the US military to:
"Save Our Shores"
Mobilize the farm lobbies to push for adding 250 million acres of new cultivation, in the next five years.
Deere and the other manufacturers of farm equipment should be supportive.
Have another Willie Nelson sing along.
A sane Ross Perot character with charts and graphs, a T Boone Pickens kind of a guy, but with America's best interest at heart.
ReplyDeleteEducating the public as to how Green non-food stock ethanol is, and how much money a billion USD a day really is, and how retaining that money in the United States would lead to job creation.
Especially in both agriculture and distillery construction. Along with the supplemental infrastructure and equipment required for increasing the amount of cultivated lands in the United States.
We're on a danged good path, right now.
ReplyDeleteBush's plan was Not to destroy the economy by taxing the Energy that we must have, but to encourage, by way of tax credits, and funding for research, the development of non-fossil fuel that we Need.
His plan has resulted in our replacing almost 10% of our gasoline with home-grown ethanol.
Most people may not know this, but the U.S., in addition to being the world's Largest producer of ethanol, is, also, the world's "Low-Cost" Producer of Ethanol. We, Actually, Export to Brazil.
NOW, we have to expand out to "Cellulosic" Ethanol (switchgrass, corn cobs, etc.)
The Great News is that Novozymes, and Dupont-Danisco have made some Enormous Breakthroughs in the All-Important "Enzyme Technologies" in the last year. The Cellulosic ethanol that two years ago cost $5.50 to produce, NOW costs about $2.00/gal to produce.
This is Humongous news. All we have to do Now is start building; but, there lieth the rub. The plants are expensive, and the Banks aren't going to be the first through the door. They're not moving w/o Federal "Guarantees." And the Feds are Hung Up.
Everything, and I mean "Everything" is waiting for the Dept of Energy to issue the first loan guarantee. Has been for awhile. And, its. just. crickets.
Everything is falling into place. E85 is selling for $0.80, $0.90, and up to a $1.00 below the price of unleaded gasoline in parts of the Country.
100 Filling Stations added E85 pumps, and "blender" pumps in the last couple of months. Chains like Kum and Go, Pilot, Meiers, and Thornton are steadily adding more ethanol pumps.
About 25% of all Chevies, and Fords sold last month were Flexfuel. The Detroit 3 are promising 50% of their cars, and light trucks will be FF in 2012.
Everything is in place.
Poet, and several others are ready to start building. Everything. is. waiting. for. the. loan. guarantees.
Meanwhile, we're shipping $1 Billion/Day out the door.
The "Economists" will tell you, "well, that's ok; they'll have to use those dollars to buy American goods, or invest the money in plants in the U.S. It has to come home, eventually." And, they're right.
ReplyDeleteThe "Problem" is Economics makes no allownce for "Time." It could be Fifty, or a Hundred Years before that money is ever seen again by "ME, and THEE," or our kids. "Effectively," most of that money is GONE.
Anyone who tells you that it doesn't matter whether you spend your money with your next-door neighbor, or a Saudi Sheik is a Dope.
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ReplyDelete"I posted the latest results to cheer you."
ReplyDeleteMm hmm. And if Juan Manuel Santos loses there'll be no end of sly, smug references to the fact. You don't fool me for one minute, Quirk.
Once a bad boy, always a bad boy.
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ReplyDeleteI'm quite sure you like "bad boys," Trish. :)
ReplyDeleteNo loyalty oaths required in the United States, praise be!
ReplyDeleteGood thing we got rid of the draft, too.
Selective Service, was, well selective alright. With folks like Dick Cheney skirting their civic responsibilities, with "better things to do".
No, better to be all volunteer, across the board. Than to force some to serve and let others get a pass, for causes like early and irresponsible breeding of children, while in the pursuit of hedonistic pleasures, to avoid service to the greater civic community.
No forced or coerced loyalty oaths, thank you.
Sounds more like what went on in the 3rd Reich than any course the United States of America should ever set.
"Therefore, the Gemini should settle for a pet that doesn’t require constant attention such as a snake or worm."_____I'd suggest the Giant Palouse Earthworm. It's hardly ever seen, has a big reputation, smelly like a lilly, and spits at you, from a dozen feet away, and needs no upkeep whatsoever.
ReplyDeleteWhere should one's loyalty truly lie? It's easy to say county, but what if your country turly goes to hell, as has often happened in the past? Family? Well, this can often lead to a mafia like structure, or internecince struggles. One's children? But some alas can turn out awfully bad. One's self? Can turn out bad too, hard to admit. So where does one's loyalty truly lie? It is not such an easy question. Nation would be far down on my list, but that's just me. Family, wife, children, lover seem to me to be higher on the list of things. Or, if you are lucky enough to be able to create something,, art, in one of it's forms. Or even, the ability to use one's eyes, and get pleasure out of the landscape, or understand a good line of logic.
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ReplyDeleteIs this the Paul Fambly Church?
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ReplyDeletePALIN: 'I can see November from my house'...
ReplyDeleteGotta love her.
(but not as much as our Patron Saint, Jan Brewer)
You're so CRUDE
ReplyDeleteI'm a little ticked off at my heroine, first time,about the Paul endorsement. Yet, I still love her truly. She was in Boise yesterday, rallying for Vaughn Ward, for whom my wife and I have already voted, good guy, nice lookin' (that always helps) well spoken, two tours in Iraq, third generation Idahoan, if we can't take out Minnick with this guy.....wwe deserve to lose...
ReplyDeleteI have US citizenship, it is not something granted or revoked by the Government, without cause.
ReplyDeleteIt one chooses to serve the Government, like the President, or a foot soldier in its' military, than an oath is taken. But it is voluntary, now.
If one wants to become a US citizen, than an oath is taken, but it is voluntary.
If one is born a citizen, there is no need for an oath.
The government derives its' power from the people, it does not grant the people that privilege.
But even the oath I took, to uphold and defend the Constitution allowed me to decide if the orders I was giver, were legal.
ReplyDeleteRequired by law?
Nah, not required of a natural born citizen.
The is always the moral obligation to break the unjust law. Not swear allegiance to it.
ReplyDeleteThe first responsibility of a patriot.
In the Anglo-Saxon tradition, fabled all the way back to Robin Hood.
Soon to be in a theater near you.
Prince of Persia
ReplyDeleteHow, well ...
Humanizing.
C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\My Documents\CdA Cruise 556.jpg
ReplyDeleteIt was a picture I like of some low lying grass, beaten down by the rain, but I don't know how to make it come up, here. It always reminded me of an oil by Dali--you won't think it is Dali--but there is beauty everywhere, even in the grass got knocked down by the rain. His oil makes your eyes pop out of your head. I took the pic, he the oil. Dali has always fascinated me, and my daughter too, there is no explaining this. His painting of the grass is out of his character, you wouldn't think it was Dali.
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ReplyDeleteallen, it is quite disingenuous to suggest that US Citizens need to take a loyalty oath to remain US Citizens. There is no equivalence to the Loyalty oath under consideration in Israel.
ReplyDeletebob's Oath---I do swear to be true to myself, and my heart's very hankerings, long as they is not ignoble, which they often are.
ReplyDeleteOn a lazy afternoon, to show what a good town I grew up in, Everett Will, of Everett Will Tractor Company, the mayor, was dying. He was mayor. Dad said, he the City Attorney, speaking low, Robert, Everett wants to speak with you. I say, what? Mom says, go to Everett, now! So I did. I had been worried bout the farming, if I'd make it, or not, it showed. Mom said, you go to Everett, NOW! I go in, Everett is two breathes away from dying. He says, Robert, you'll make it. He whispered that in my ear. That's all he said. He died in half an hour. I will always remember that, what a close helpful society we had, back in them good old days.
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ReplyDeleteMy loyalty oath is, fnally, to myself, just like yours.
ReplyDeleteMr Lieberman, the current Foreign Minister of Israel, ash, does, or at least did, advocate loyalty oaths, for Israelis, especially those of Arab descent.
ReplyDeleteMr Lieberman being one of the many Eurotrash that have migrated to Israel and now wishes to deny those born there their "Natural Rights".
Compulsory loyalty oaths, was all the rage in Mr Lieberman's vision of Israel.
We don't need that kind of hate, here in the US of A.
ReplyDeleteA Democrat asshole may be what the country needs, in the US Senate:
ReplyDeleteThe Associated Press
What job did the White House offer Democratic Rep. Joe Sestak if he skipped the Pennsylvania Senate primary and who made the offer?
Sestak isn't saying — and the White House only says "nothing inappropriate" took place.
Sestak won his party's Senate nomination last week. His opponent was longtime Sen. Arlen Specter, who ditched the GOP last year and became a Democrat.
Sestak says the White House offered him a job — he's not saying what it was — if he would leave Specter alone.
White House spokesman Robert Gibbs isn't saying if Sestak was offered a job, but he does say White House lawyers and others have looked into the matter.
Gibbs was on CBS' "Face the Nation" while Sestak was on CBS and on NBC's "Meet the Press."
Here, again, the 'Left' is not only ahead of the curve, they're setting the pace. While the economic challenges the nation faces may well include expanding debt, an easier political and marketing target, the balance of payments deficits to Arab oil producers.
ReplyDeleteEasier to focus the public's attention on that, as a National Security Issue, than the general debt.
When Debt is a National Security Issue
By David Ignatius
WASHINGTON -- Several months ago, a group of logistics officers at the Industrial College of the Armed Forces developed a national security strategy as a class exercise. Their No. 1 recommendation for maintaining U.S. global leadership was "restore fiscal responsibility."
That's a small illustration of what's becoming a consensus among national security experts inside and outside the Obama administration: To play an effective role in the world, the United States must rebuild its economic strength at home. After a decade of war and financial crisis, America has run up debts that pose a national security problem, not just an economic one.
Mrs Palin is now speaking poorly of the US Coast Guard, which defends itself publicly:
ReplyDeleteInstead of proposing a "War on Oil", going back to the farm, Mrs Palin is herself a product of a "Big Oil" culture and her mantra of "Drill Baby Drill" puts her on the wrong side of history.
By Ben Geman -
Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin (R) on Sunday linked what she called an inadequate White House response to the Gulf of Mexico oil spill and oil industry support for President Barack Obama, prompting White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs to claim that Palin needs to get “more informed.”
...
U.S. Coast Guard Admiral Thad Allen, who is in charge of the federal response to the spill, also defended the administration on CNN’s “State of the Union.”
“Within an hour-and-a-half of the incident, I was called at home, I was up during the night on the search and rescue case. The progression of coordination across the federal government changed as the event got more complex through the search and rescue, through the sinking of the drilling unit, through the discovery of the leaks,” Allen said.
“We ramped up accordingly in accordance with our doctrine. But I've been involved in this thing from the start,” he added.
Allen said the administration’s approach is very hands-on even though BP is leading the technical effort to cap the damaged undersea well, which has been gushing for a month into the Gulf. The company in coming days plans to try a “top kill” in which heavy, dense drilling muds will be pumped into the damaged well to block the flow.
“They have the eyes and ears that are down there. They are necessarily the modality by which this is going to get solved. Our responsibility is to conduct proper oversight to make sure they do that. And with the top kill that will be coming up later on this week, that's exactly what is happening,” Allen said.
There's no way people will forget that it was Palin, and McCain prancing around onstage a little more than a year ago, chanting "Drill, Baby, Drill."
ReplyDeleteThis ain't a "Winner" for Palin.
ReplyDeleteThe outdoor conservationist should remember her roots.
ReplyDeleteWell, maybe she does.
Oil runs deep, in Alaska.
Pawlenty is the only Candidate that can make the most of this situation.
ReplyDeleteUnder Pawlenty's leadership Minnesota is the leader in biofuel development in the United States with approx. 370 stations selling E85, and mandates for ethanol, and biodiesel blended into all fuel sold in the state.
Of course, he's also the most boring "national savior" in history.
ReplyDeleteMitt Romney is the only one that seemed to have a clue as to the problem of oil, and balance of payments during the campaign; but, damn, he's disliked by the "Right."
I think that on the GOM the admin's in a bit of a bind. Critics on both sides - opportunists and not - are making noise about the WH's low profile wrt the disaster, without mention or recognition of the fact that under the terms of their permits, BP is legally responsible for fixing its own mess...that is, until and unless the government determines that the efforts are unsatisfactory.
ReplyDeleteRockman pointed this out at Oil Drum some time ago. According to him, oil companies live in fear of the takeover of their efforts in these scenarios - all the equipment, personnel, and whatnot transferring to government direction - while the government for its part does not want to be the responsible party. No upside there when you're looking at possibly months more of live video feed showing showing gushers thousands of feet down; oil continuing to beach; and unemployed, suicidal Gulf fisherman.
But Ken Salazar was in Houston today and seemed to come very close to framing the matter in such a way that would logically put the admin on the hook for the whole effort, declaring his dissatisfaction with BP's endeavors.
I don't know how much the admin has thought about the bigger nightmare of actually being in charge of that horrendous mess. If oversight's no picnic, taking the effort over from BP would be...political hell.
And again, this is becoming an issue among the president's own supporters, demanding or at least strongly desiring to see Obama himself ride herd on the whole damned thing.
Common sense alone would dictate the administration strive mightily to avoid this and make sure everyone down to the Interior Secretary's coat-holder very carefully couch any criticism of BP's ongoing work.
Message discipline. It's a fine thing.
ah c'mon allen you are really grasping at straws here - there is no equivalence to be had comparing an "oath of office" with a requirement to pledge allegiance in order to retain citizenship.
ReplyDeletegoverning is a tough row to hoe trish. I have images flitting through my head of Obama donning a Scuba outfit and going down there and fixing it himself. From the perspective of the Top Dog I would hope there is the realization that you can only do so much and if one it seen to politically posturing one is going to go down in flames. If one is seeing as doing nothing one goes down in flames. Aside from shutting the beast down it is a no-win situation. Bush got shafted in much the same way (Katrina happened when his allies were turning against him for immigration so no love there). A few flippant remarks in public and you go down in flames. No errant tongues yet still trouble as far as the eye can see...
ReplyDelete...politics is a bitch.
I've always figured the longer in power the more hated you become as you've got to make decisions which piss someone off. Time is not your friend. The good ole USA seems to exist in an accelerated time realm.
seen, seeing, it, is...
ReplyDelete...pour me another glass of wine please!
...*hic*...
Hotel Room Security
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