I have blabbered on before about political damage from the misuse and abuse of an imposed economic fetter but here it goes:
The upper echelons of the European bureaucracy are now blaming each other for their collective failure to deal with the financial imbalance between north and south members. This is an unlimited disgrace.
The commission, the parliament, the heads of government have just had a two-day international conference in Brussels on the subject out of which there came NOTHING. Governmental, inter-governmental organizations which oversee Europe and European countries have abandoned ship. They are allowing markets to decide the future based on whatever they judge the least of competing risks.
Governments are supposed to govern and the EU was supposed to co-ordinate them. The peoples of Europe can now see that their own governments have individually and collectively FAILED to protect their own populations (their primary task) and the population of Europe (the primary task of the EU). I hope the electors will deal out just deserts to these failed politicians. The upper echelons of the Eurobureaucracy should all be collectively fired for dereliction of duty and failing to do the the job for which they are vastly overpaid.
I will have more to say about what this portends for us.
In a democracy, in theory at least, the government reflects the people's will as opposed to a top down, paternalistic, government tending the sheep of the people. While I'll grant that good leaders need to stand up to popular sentiment and convince them of what is 'right' the European people did debate and vote on the various provisions that led to the EU. I do remember initiatives failing against the urging of the leaders in national votes. Nationalist feelings trumped further integration. Further integration (i.e. Eurobonds and a central bank like the Federal Reserve) are often touted as the elixir to fix what ails them now. We see similar arguments against the Federal government in favor of States rights in the US.
Isn't Rufus who says "Democraceee is messy"? If only those damn Europeans could get their act together all would be right with the world economy :D
In short: deleveraging is a tricky and painful business and it isn't only Europe that needs deal with it. Storm clouds are gathering over US government leverage (as well as Canada's and many others...).
WASHINGTON (MarketWatch) - The U.S. added just 69,000 jobs in May, the smallest increase in a year, the government reported Friday. Economists surveyed by MarketWatch expected a 165,000 increase. The unemployment rate, meanwhile, rose to 8.2% from 8.1%, mainly because more people entered the labor force even as hiring slowed. The average workweek fell 0.1 hour to 34.4 in May, while average hourly earnings climbed 2 cents to $23.41. Employment gains for April and March were revised lower. The number of new jobs created in April was reduced to 77,000 from an original estimate of 115,000, while March's figure was trimmed to 143,000 from 154,000.
At this point, you might as well vote for the guy you hate least. It's not going to make a difference, not in four years.
The GOP and Obama, at least on economics, differ only at the margins and on the rhetoric. Gridlock will continue and the problems are so large decisions that are made will have little effect on the macro trend. The best thing we have going for us now is time and market cycles.
IMO, the election won't be decided on social issues.
Even on major issues, like Iran, you can't really count on anything any pol says during an election period, especially these two dicks.
Ostia ain't no port, it's a mud flat with some old buildings still standing around. Not even an old preserved Roman warship that we could see.
Back in Roma now, and things seem to be falling apart. D says the entire Swiss Guard wants to defect, when we spring Paolito. Demanding a ride to the Alps, and an even bigger cut in the book deals. D says they have us by the balls, we have no choice.
They could turn on us at any moment, he says.
Where in the hell is Quirk when we really need him?.....
How are we to fit all those guards in the Datsun van, and Paolo too?....
....
"What???!!!"
"Some guy says his name is Quirk."
"No."
"Yes."
"NO."
"YES!"
Mother of God, now and at the hour of our death....
"He says what?"
"Says he's got an alibi."
"We don't need an alibi, we need a bigger van."
"He's got some horse called alibi. Rode in here like The Lone Ranger. And a plan. Says Bless UPS, they got him here overnight. Says we'll have to take the risk, we have no choice. Says he can make it work. He does sound cool and collected, I'll say that. I think we should work with this guy. A little goofy, basically almost all there."
"Oh nooooo....Where'd you bump into him?"
"I was over at the Piazza Navona watching the young ladies, and the kids throwing pennies into the pool, and the older women who come and go, talking of Michelangelo, and he was riding the horse in circles round an' round the reflecting pool, going 'whoop, whoop', when he caught my eye."
D's been looking into the history of these papists -
Alexander VI, whose pontificate from 1492 to 1503 is generally agreed to have been the worst ever, was said to have presided over more orgies than Masses.
He came from the notorious Borgia family, who have been accused of adultery, rape, incest and murder. Alexander is said to have died from eating a poisoned apple.
In the interest of fairness, they have had many good ones too. It's just that it's difficult for an angel to rise up in a pit of vipers, as the Italian free press is saying.
It crossed my mind that I'd recruit Ash for this mission too.
Golf
In the 1970s, Castel Gandolfo Country Club opened in Pavona. The complex is located in the crater of the ancient dried up lake and in the ancient villa of Cardinal Flavio Chigi.
Castel Gandolfo (Italian pronunciation: [kaˈstɛl ɡanˈdɔlfo],[1] Latin: Castrum Gandulphi, colloquially Castello in the Castelli Romani dialects) is a small Italian town or comune in Lazio that occupies a height overlooking Lake Albano about 15 miles south-east of Rome, on the Alban Hills. It is best known as the summer residence of the Pope. It is an Italian town with the population of 8834. The town was voted one of the most beautiful towns in Italy.[2]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castel_Gandolfo
He and the Pope could be shooting a round, as a diversion.
You will be happy to know this is my last communication until the day of Paolo's freedom, which we are calling Excarceration Sunday. Tentatively, we intend to act during Sunday Services and Sunday Banquet, unless Quirk objects for some reason. D doesn't think Q should be in the planning at all, after the to-do about the horse, but I have faith in Q, and he says a noble steed is always a requirement in a mission like this.
I was intending to video tape the whole proceedings like President Obama might do, but then D said, who has cased the whole compound many times, that on the front gate there is a sign that say NO CAMERAS so that is out.
London. For weeks, this paper and others have reported on the Vaticanleaks stories. Vatican intrigue, secret cabals, internecine fighting within the Curia, power struggles amongst the princes of the church, money laundering rumors, bank scandals, all the ingredients of a Dan Brown novel. The stories centered around the most powerful people in the Church, Tarcisio Bertone the Vatican Secretary of State and acting Carmelengo, George Ganswein the Pope’s Private Secretary, and Fr. Frederico Lombardi the Press Secretary and member of Opus Dei. Now, within the last week, the more modest in il Papa’s family have been drawn into the scandal.
The Pope’s butler, Paolo Gabriele, has been accused of stealing personal and state documents and leaking them to the press. Little has been said since the arrest but there have been lurid rumors of seduction by a beautiful femme fatale currently in the Pope’s service who spurred on by high placed shadowy figures lured the butler to his fate.
As the story unfolds, it continues to get more bizarre. Even as Wikileaks spokesperson, Julian Assange, prepares to be extradited to Sweden on rape charges, the organization’s London branch released a series of extraordinary communications purported to be between local Italian police organization, Interpol, various American law enforcement agencies, and black ops operations amongst major national and international groups like Peta and the International Association of Teachers of English as a Foreign Language (IATEFL). The stories center around two shadowy Americans, known by their code names Chip and Dale by US law enforcement and Stan and Ollie by the Italians.
According to Wikileaks documents, two Americans, code named Chip and Dale in Homeland Security e-mails, recently book flight and travelled to Italy despite the fact that both were on various terrorist watch lists (ICE, Treasury, DEA, PETA, MENSA, TSA). The fact that there was no coordination amongst departments and the names were never transferred from any of the watch lists to the government’s no fly list has caused a stir within Homeland Security and throughout Washington and could ultimately lead to Congressional investigations or even the defeat of the President this fall.
The fact that they were able to get on the plane was bad enough but Wikileaks alleges they were also able to smuggle a ’79 Datsun aboard the plane. It’s rumored this has precipitated a purge at TSA. Public pressure is mounting because of the fact that TSA has not deployed equipment long purchased but now sitting in storage. TSA responds that that is a specious argument since there is no way a Datsun would even fit in there x-ray machines anyway.
It is reported that this incident has caused an immense strain between the governments of the U.S. and that of Italy. The situation is exacerbated by the fact that Italian customs allowed the pair to exit customs without having noticed they were carrying either the Datsun or some Chinook salmon roe they smuggled into the country in their belly bags.
The U.S. government has, through Interpol, issued a Red Notice on the two and is demanding their extradition back to the U.S. According to the Wiki documents, the Italians, because of their embarrassment especially at letting the salmon roe through, are at the moment resisting.
The Wikileaks release of the Italian documents is even more startling. There is currently a territorial dispute amongst Italian law enforcement agencies over who should be handling the investigation into the Stan and Ollie matter. (The Italians were so pissed about the Chinook roe they changed the code names.) Subsequent documentation shows that the two American’s visit is related to the whole ‘butler affair’.
Since the Polizia di Stato have taken the lead on Vaticanleaks, they feel they should handle issues associated with the two Americans. On the other hand, the Arma del Carabinieri, feel they should take the lead since the whole affair now clearly has international implications. They also offered intelligence that indicates that some of the CIA agents that were involved in the 2003 kidnapping and extraordinary rendition of Abu Omar from Italy to Egypt are now back in country. These agents were subsequently convicted of the crimes In Italy in absentia and the Carabinieri are anxious to get their hands on them. According to the documents, the Carabinieri believe the agents are here to get the two Americans. While rendition to Egypt would be difficult at this time, it is believed the Americans still have access to facilities in Poland and Yemen.
A third agency, the Corpo Forestale dello Stato, argues that because of the Chinook roe, they should take the lead given their mandate to enforce poaching laws and environmental protection.
Wikileaks also has released documents issued between various intelligence agencies (CIA, NSA, the Carabinieri, and Interpol) that indicate a shadowy, black ops mission has been launched against the two Americans by independent groups, specifically PETA and the International Association of Teachers of English as a Foreign Language (IATEFL).
It appears the two groups have contracted with a notorious international operative qualified in wet work and known by the pseudonym Archangel. The object seems to be to take out Ollie who has continually embarrassed both groups by arguing for the poisoning of wolves and claiming, without documentation, that he is actually an English major. Stan has been designated ‘collateral damage’.
The US and the Italians argue that if anyone takes out Stan and Ollie, it should be one of them.
What follows is the story of Stan and Ollie in Italy as it has been pieced together from official documents, personal e-mails, MSM news items, information from confidential informants, intercepted communications picked up on police-band radio, and an extended story published in the Enquirer.
Stan and Ollie’s quest has been truly bizarre and raises many more questions than it answers. Is this a rescue mission for the butler, a strange false-flag operation, or merely a quirky European vacation by two American dolts?
Timeline:
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Stan and Ollie arrive at Leonardo di Vinci airport in Rome and breeze through customs. They re-assemble their ’79 Datsun and head for their hotel. Their car is recognizable not only for being one of the last ’79 Datsun’s in the world but by its bubble top and the numerous bumper stickers on the back: Poison a Wolf for Christ; Anyone but Obama; and Free the Butler. The car was spotted and noted by officers of the Polizia di Stato who reported it to higher authorities. A watch notice was put out on the two Americans.
Italian authorities asked Interpol to add smuggling to the list of charges on the Red Notice.
Customs agents at Fiumicino report that the agent known as Archangel has also arrived travelling under the alias, John Smith with only carry-on luggage, a guitar case. Carabinieri agents put a tale on him but lose him within the first two blocks of the airport.
A strange day with strange activities by the Americans. They leave the Hotel Hoochie around 8:30 am and proceed down Via Depresso towards the car park where they left the Datsun. The smaller man, the driver Stan, seems oddly fixated on cats. He continuously stops and picks up stray cats on the street and examines their sex. Later in the day he is seen stuffing a couple into a knapsack.
At 9:30, the pair drop off the Datsun at Giorgio’s Garage and Canolli Shop on the Viale delle Prostitute and from there proceed to a sidewalk café where they purchase drinks and Italian ices. After three or four drinks they become rowdy and are asked to leave the café. They continue down the street where Ollie is beat up by a pimp for accosting a one-legged hooker. Stan is falling down drunk and no help at all so he takes out his frustration by beating up a homeless person with one of his newly acquired cats.
The polizia do not intervene, having instructions from on high to merely ‘track and observe’ but make sure nobody is permanently injured.
Stan and Ollie return to Giorgio’s where they pick up the Datsun sedan that has now been modified into a Datsun van. The police, dressed as a touring reggae band, follow them undercover in a disguised camper painted to look like a touring bus and with loudspeakers pumping out Jammin [LINK] at a hundred an 130 decibels. Because the Datsun never makes it over 25 kilometers per hour, this tracking only lasts a few miles before the touring bus begins to overheat. The bus is then abandoned and the tale is taken over by officers alternating on Vespas and Segways, and mountain bikes.
Later, Stan and Ollie met with Colonel Elmer Theodore Mader, Captain-Commandant of the Swiss Guards and bought him lunch. A good time seemed to have been had by all.
Later in the day, Stan and Ollie split up with Ollie proceeding to a mall to walk about apparently aimlessly for a couple hours. Stan went to the race track where after abusing some gypsies he was beaten and robbed. Again, the police merely observed. Stan, covered in pigeon shit, is in a foul mood when he again meets up with Ollie.
The Interpol Red Alert has again been requested to be modified to include charges of solicitation, sexual assault, hate crimes against the disabled, assault, and animal cruelty.
Archangel was spotted by a Polizia di Stato meter maid at a roadside ammo kiosk but by the time officers arrived he was gone.
Stan and Ollie are up and about early. They are easy to tracks even on segways because of the McDonald’s coffee cups and egg mcmuffin wrappers tossed casually from the Datsun van. They make their way to St Peter’s Square and Italian law enforcement goes on high alert fearing that this might be the point where they make their move.
At 9:30 am, as Ollie stands about unobtrusively dressed in a frilly shirt, suspendered shorts, and lederhosen, Stan, who appears to be the brains of the operation, proceeds to the center of the square where he enters into secretive conversation with Joe ‘Mashed Potatoes’ Mencotti, known con man and tout. Listening devices aimed at the men reveal a conversation in which Stan purchases a ‘pass’ to get into the Vatican through the free entry gate. He also purchases a counterfeit Rolex watch and is given a complementary tip on a horse in tomorrow’s fifth race at Campanelle. Again, officers merely observed.
Skirting the public tours, Stan enters through the free gate and finding nobody to give his ‘pass’ to proceeds to enter into conversation with some Swiss Guards who are on break. As soon as he mentions his name and that he is with Ollie, the guard’s attention perks up quickly. They all appear to become very friendly.
After they left the Vatican, Stan and Ollie again split up, with Ollie heading to the mall to again pace aimlessly for a couple hours while Stan proceeded to the Piazza Novana where he spent some time leering at the ladies and the young children. After a time, he noticed the local eccentric, Guano Genitales, riding around the fountain on a horse as he does on most days. Approaching the whack-job, Stan questioned, Quirk? Guano, smiling, replied, Quirk. Then Stan shouted, Quirk! Quirk! Quirk! And Guano replied, Quirk! Quirk! Quirk! Everyone seemed quite relieved.
Later that evening, Stan and Ollie, met up with a large group of Swiss Guards and bought them all dinner.
Again, the Interpol Red Report was asked to be updated to include new charges of littering, purchasing of counterfeit goods, loitering and voyeurism.
According to e-mails released by Wikileaks, The three cardinals that direct the actions of the Vatican police (Herranz, Tomko and De Giorgi) seem convinced that that there is someone higher up, a “steering committee” that is pulling the strings in the “Vatileaks” affair. They have also notified the Captain-Commandant of the Swiss Guards they expect to be cut in on this ‘sweet deal’ the guards have going with free meals from the Americanos.
Both American Express and Bank of America have put holds on further transactions on credit cards used by the two Americans until questions on certain “unusual activity” can be straightened out.
The Carabinieri, Interpol, and Conde Nast Traveller have all reported that the wanted CIA agents have been spotted in Piazza Vittorio Emanuele, a modern red-light district in Rome.
Archangel was again spotted purchasing a garrote and nunchucks at an all-night ninja supply kiosk on the Appian Way. Again, he escaped before officers could arrive. The Carabienieri captain in charge at the scene is quoted as saying, “He isa lika the wind.”
An inside informant at the Calabinieri has informed Wikileaks that tranquilizer darts shipped to the Americans by Idaho Fish and Game have been confiscated, stripped of tranquilizer, re-filled with cheap Vodka taken from Russian vacationers, and forwarded on to Stan and Ollie, this in accordance with the ‘track and observe’ mandate.
This report will be updated as new information is received and verified.
Wikileaks has announced it has launched a civil suit for trademark infringement against those using the term Vaticanleaks.
Il Papa is secluded in his Castel Gondolfo retreat and is reportedly finding stories drifting up from Rome about two American ninjas in a clown car to be highly amusing although, in a sense, troubling.
Quirk, founder of the mega-corporation Sould-R-Us and a known anti-equestrian, arrived in Cartagena, Mexico last night to check on certain business properties he owns through the corporation. When asked about recent events in the Vatican, he had this to say, “Through the efforts of one of our affiliates, Spies-R-Us Maybe, I’ve been kept up to date on events in Rome. I will continue to monitor the situation. But things are fluid right now and that’s all I can say at the moment.’
All I can say further now at his moment is as I was feeding risky a raw unwashed carrot in the Piazza del Campidoglio, I had an odd feeling and vision: an omen. I know now this is not going to end well. But the gods forbid speculation.
Earlier I had watered risk at the pool of the Fontana delle Naiadi. While there I was able to hook a couple of fat goldfish on a Royal Coachman dry which we will consume tonight. We have invited the Captain of the Swiss Guards again to dine and drink and converse with us. Rumors have surfaced on the street concerning possible 'outside interference' in our operation.
D, who doesn't eat fish on Fridays, is having a McItalian sent over from the McJoint at McDonald's Corso di Francia, 80 00191 Rome, Italy 06 3322 0896
Tomorrow is fasting. I hope it is not my last supper.
sent from my Ipod, Roma, Italia, 1May2012 of the Year of our Lord.
To: Suzy Sankowski (Private Secretary to CEO, Souls-R-Us, Inc.) Corporate Headquarters, Salem, MA 01970
Suz, I seem to recall giving a guy named Bob the business a few years back. Let me re-phrase that. I seem to remember giving Bob some inconsequential part of the business a few years back. However, I may have him confused with a lady named Melody who I know I gave part of the business to.
Bob appears to be in a bit of trouble right now. I would feel a certain obligation torwards him if we have any actual business relationship. If there is no business relationship, forget about him. If there is some form of business tie, contact Mike Carmano at Spies-R-Us Maybe and have him contact me at the Hotel El Caribe in Cartagena, Mexico. I would handle this myself but I am in the middle of some tricky negotiations at the moment.
By Holy St. Anne, you are right. I do now remember you ceding me controlling interest in Souls. You were in the des pond at the time, and said it wasn't worth squat, and I was the only guy you could think of who really deserved it, other than maybe Rufus. I mentioned your e-mail to D, and he said, ask Q, he's out front, sleeping on a bench in the piazzeria. I rolled over and went back to sleep.
I see from your e-mail you don't seem to know what month it is, and you don't seem to know where you are, as usual for a man who travels much such as you.
What's might it mean, an eagle flying over the Coliseum, on a collision course with a tourist balloon, and suddenly dropping a tightly head anhydrous steelhead from its talons, straight into the grandstand where Caligula used to sit?
I took this an evil omen, but I might have been influenced by the song of the Good Claire nuns singing 'amen', and misunderstood their words. Time will tell, and we hope for the best and prepare for the worst, as always.
1. Gived you some advice. Forget the Swiss Guards. They are playing you. Trust no one.
2. I can have Mike Carmano take care of the CIA. Mike has friends in the Piazza Vittorio Emanuele. It should be easy to keep the CIA 'entertained' until you are out of Rome.
3. I can also slow down the Archangel. I'll send Carmano my brother-in-law's number, you know, the barber. He has contacts in Sicily, serious men. They are used to this kind of action. I wish I could think of someone off the top of my head that was as good as the Archangel but I've been riding a high since I got here and I'm just not thinking clearly. Hopefully, the gumbas will be able to keep Archangel off your back uniil you are out of Italy.
4. Through my contacts in the Church, I should be able to get you a pre-paid confession and a St. Christopher medal. Both should help if you will be riding around in that Datsun.
5. Most of the crimes on the Red Notice should be able to be handled fairly easily, all except, smuggling in the Chinook roe. For some reason, countries are hypersenitive about having food stuffs smuggled in. The Italians are the worst. You will have to figure that one out by yourself. Have you thought about eating it or feeding it to Risky and then, if worse comes to worse, eating Risky . Just a suggestion. I'll leave it up to you.
With regard to springing the butler, sorry, can't help you there. If you insist on attempting it you are on your own. He may be only a tool. He may have been set up. He may have been entrapped. He may have been played by others. But remember, only the corruptible can be corrupted. Forget about him.
I would say the same about Dale and the Datsun but I know you wouldn't do it.
Well, have fun. If you have time, visit a Sicilian bakery like Ciuri Ciuri located in the Monti district and have their cannoli, that or their bomba con crema. You will become addicted for life. Have some expresso with either and your body will love you.
Dale and I are in the Albergo dei Poveri off the Piazza Piccione Shiatsu, local disrespectful name, in Roma. You are passed out on the bench outside, with intermittent wakefulness, so you know what a tough neighborhood this is, but great for concealment.
D is sleeping. Tomorrow we fast. And I gotta get some sleep. E Hemroid always said the mind is more alert on an empty stomach.
Paolito?
He may be only a tool. He may have been set up. He may have been entrapped. He may have been played by others. But remember, only the corruptible can be corrupted. Forget about him.
Never, it is that for which we are all come here, to this place of wickedness, for Paolito. It is for a jury to decide if your speculations are true.
Say, where did you park Risky tonight? He needs his oats and alfalfa.
Quirk, I hate to insist, but can't you get it through your mind that you are here in Rome with us?
I know that absinthe you have been drinking is tough stuff, but really....
I am not answering any more missives tonight. Have another glass of absinthe and leave me alone. Go to sleep. I do not mean to be testy, and I am not in a snit...
In Berlin the two-year government bond yield fell below zero for the first time, with the bizarre result that jittery international investors are now paying – rather than being paid – for lending to Germany.
Quirk's back. Folks, Quirk's Back! You don't know what this means, how magnificent it is. There's good al' Quirk, over there in the corner of the room, cooking onions and pork sausage on the Coleman stove. Quirk's Back! Always uncertain in the lead up, always iffy before the action begins, always temporarily AWOL till the last moment, but he's back. As always. This is transcendentally bracing. We have no problems now. He's shaken off the intoxication, sobered up, off the park bench, with no ill done, except for his missing stolen shoes. Embracing the world again, he knows where he is, who he is, what needs to be done. And will do it.
The ol' boy is back. :) Joy. This is as bracing for us here in Rome as Churchill returning to the Admiralty in those darkest days!
Anono-Bob, wake up and smell the onions and pork sausage.
Thank the lord it is only food you are being taken for. First, the Swiss Guards and now Guano Genitales.
I woke up this morning in a cheap hotel room not knowing who I was or where. I had the mother of all hangovers and looking at sausage or onions would have killed me. When I finally left my room, I was greeted by sultry "holas" offered by the various senoritas that lined the stairs. Besides the ladies, the only ones I saw there were a fat Mexican guy behind a desk reading a newspaper and a dark giant just short of seven foot tall with arms the size of J.Lo's thighs who eyed me silently as I stumbled out the door.
On the outside, I was greeted by the hot Mexican sun and the smell of garbage from the effluent in the gutters. It may be bad in Rome, but for a few hours I had my own hell in Cartagena.
I am now relaxing on a U.S. Airways flight heading east to Virginia. I have my eyes closed, a cold cloth across my forhead, and a Mimosa in my hand. There does not even appear to be any Italian flight attendants on board. I will check out the flight crew when I am able to walk more steadily.
As usual, in your rush to be a hero, you have again failed to check schedules. Had you done so, you would have notice the Bilderberg conference I attend each year. This year, Bilerberg 2012 is being held this weekend in Chantilly, Va just down the street from Langley. There is no way in the world I would miss it. I'm heading there now to catch the tail end (that's when they really let their hair down). Hopefully, I will get there before Kissenger scoffs down all those special little fruit tarts that I really love.
This year will be different for me. Although I have been invited, as I usually am because of my affiliation with Souls-R-Us I will actually be acting as an undercover agent for Occupy Bilderberg. I don't know if this feeling I have is excitement, fear, or just the effects of my stay in Cartagena. At any rate, I'm on my way.
As you can see, there is no way I could or would want to be in Rome cooking sausages and onions. No, what you have in that room in Rome is a massive idealism on the scale of that of the Republican faction in the Spanish Civil War, an itinerant whack-job who thinks he has finally found paradise in the person of two American dolts, a conspiracy theorists who drives a modified '79 Datsun and is fixated on cats, and a horse, the only normal figure in the bunch.
Once again, I encourage you to forget this foolishness and make you way home. One more piece of advice. Do not fly through the major airports. In your case that would be suicide. If you are interested, I have friends who can arrange for a boat to take you from Trapani to Tripoli where you can get lost in the general mayhem as you work to get your way back to the States. This option will require you get from Rome to Messina in Sicily on your own. Let me know.
D: "Q is babbling in the corner" b: "It's an echo of the absinthe, D. It will pass." D: "What's SoulsRUs? Sounds Catholic." b: "Nah. It's a small concern he had, ceded to me. He keeps dreaming of the old days. He defrauded thousands. Horoscopes and spiritual journeys, that kind of thing. Failing, he wanted me to be CEO, and majority owner, for when the law comes, they won't go after simple stockholders." D: "He says he's on an airliner to Virginia." b: "So he says. But there he is, right over there in the corner." D: "So he is. What's this non-sense about Kissenger?" b: "It's his ego-ideal, projected. It's what he wants to be. The travel, the power, the money, the attention, the usual." D: "I see. I'm going down to the market to buy Q some Inchelium Red garlic bulbs and Shallots. That might help." b: "Good. Buy a small bottle of white wine for him as wll, it might help with the absinthe withdrawals."
from Hotel of the Poor, Plaza Pigeon Shit, Roma, Italia 2/6/2012
D: "He really drank two bottles of that absinthe shit?" b: "Two? Nearly four! The bum that stole his shoes got the last half of the fourth, when Q was contemplating the night pigeons passing."
Ethanol blends SUCK. The Ethanol lobby can bite my a$$. And they are my neighbors. Govt teat sucking farmers. Their govt $$ distorts the price of my calves in the fall. I don’t get subsidies but they inadvertently punish me in many ways. Another way is their govt subsidies drive up the price of land rent. Subsidies should never happen. Period.
Badger40 on June 2, 2012 at 3:39 PM ....
AND it is true ethanol blends ruin engines. Took us 2 small Honda engines & about $1000 later to figure it out. We were using the engine to run a well pump in a pasture. The 1st one lasted a year. The 2nd not even that long. Finally put in a windmill. But it was the ethanol blend that did it bcs the 3rd engine we specifically avoid it & it’s still running. THANKS FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!!!!!
Badger just wants some more of that govt. subsidized $2.00 corn to feed to his cows. Also, I betcha he got govt. money for the windmill. Sounds like one of Doug's buddies.
You mean those damn ethanol guys have been getting a double wammy on ethanol production, the long standing ethanol subsidies and also subsidies on the feedstock?
That nimrod Badger is not driving those cattle to market. He's a trucker, not a cowboy. Using those Federal hiway dollar tax subsidies to get his meat to market.
As he said, he was using small engines to do a "big" task. Then lies about his use of Federal subsidies in his agricultural business.
Another of those anti-government ranters that could not survive a season without the Federals maintaining the roads and the USDA inspectors at the slaughter houses.
I don't mean to sound crass (or naive) (or irrelevant) but the two of you should put your skills to productive use and put together a screenplay.
(That is allegedly how Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo "created" the Bridesmaids movie.)
Jim Carrey could play "b" and George Clooney could play Q and Billy Bob Thornton could play Dale.
I'm serious (sort of.) Couldn't be any worse than I can't think of the name - that middle eastern character who brings his schtick to America where he encounters all sorts of absurdist entanglements. (Seriously, he's not funny. You guys are much funnier - Kristen Wiig caliber.)
The hope for a better future lies in .......... bugs.
Earth is a microbial planet. Micro-organisms make up about half the planet’s biomass, and without them, large animals could not survive. Because they are so small, so abundant and so differentiated, they also contain most of the earth’s genetic diversity. One of the most important discoveries to emerge from the human-genome projects, both at the N.I.H. and at Celera, was the revelation that humans have relatively few genes. Before the human-genome map, most scientists assumed that there were about 100,000 genes in our DNA. In fact, there are about 20,000, or fewer than those of a typical grape.
I swear there's a place for my wife in the Idaho Fish and Game Department. And a lesson here as well - never let the wife near the squirrel feeder. First she bitches about me feeding the squirrel, then criticizes me for the way I'm doing it, then....gets involved.
I was going to buy some more salted sunflower seeds, but couldn't find them at Wal-Mart, so she goes to the Garden Center part, and comes back with sacks of seeds, some mixed, plus a big sack of dried corn cobs, and a fancy feeder that looks like a Swiss Chalet. She sets all this stuff up, and stores the sacks on the porch. What happens?
The sacks on the porch are immediately raided, leaving seeds all over the place, the sacks pouring seeds between the slats onto the ground under, where we can't get to, the Chalet is torn apart, and the dried corn cobs totally ignored.
Then, this huge new squirrel shows up, chases my favorite little guy or gal off, the one I was teaching to respond to my whistle, and proclaims himself King.
Yep, there' a place in Idaho Fish and Game for my wife.
I'm silent until tomorrow, when the action the begins. We are concentrating our minds now, like lasers.
....
Say, it is a big waste of time watching that Hemroid and Gelhorn movie. My wife can't stand Hemingway and she lasted longer than I.
Tell me if know know of anyone who has killed a marlin with a right hook to the jaw? And, in the boat where the blood gushing, if there would be blood gushing, goes all over the deck? You'd shatter your hand to a pulp before you could kill a marlin that way, whose head has a brain maybe the size of a walnut, the rest being bone and cartilage. They'd kill the poor marlin, after it's exhausted, gaffed by the side of the boat, with a .22 to the back of the skull. Clean and neat, like you'd kill cattle at the feedlot with a stun gun.
Further, "everything dies" a necrofoolish and meaningless statement I doubt Ernie ever muttered.
Further, I can't recall Hem ever smoking cigars. I remember Churchill smoking cigars though. I remember Q trying to smoke a cigar once, and coughing uncontrollably. I do recall a photo of Hem with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, unlit, in Spain, in a photo op for the furtherance of the profitability of Hemingway,Inc., with a bunch of partisan fighters.
Finally, Gelhorn said she was the worst fuck on seven continents and in 57 states, and always was relieved to just get it over with, so the image of her waltzing into the Sloppy Joe's Bar like one of Q's Cartegena hookers, arching her ass up in the air like I can take anything that comes, is, well, lightly stated, not to be believed.
This was where I quit, about 1 1/2 minute into this money making fraud of a film. My wife lasted nearly 35 minutes before she gave up, saying, "That's the worst movie I've ever seen."
Frik and Frak’s European Adventure – Update 02062012
By Bart Bartelson
LONDON. This is a follow-up to the story we posted here yesterday concerning activities of two bizarre Americans, a horse, and their strange misadventures related to the butler Paolo Gabriele and the Vatileaks scandal in Rome.
The story centers on the two Americans, code named Stan and Ollie, and their horse Risky [name reportedly verified on hyper-sensitive recording devices used by the Italian Polizia di Stato]. All are under close scrutiny by authorities.
Wikileaks operatives have submitted the following communications exclusively to two news agencies, the Telegraph and al-Jazeera. The communications have been pulled using police-band monitoring devices and purportedly are between the on-site surveillance team and the Polizia di Stato central authorities.
The following transmissions (translated for our readers) were reported today, 2Jun2012:
9:36 Roma time. “Hello, are you receiving? This is Capt. Roberto Wagneri, leader of the surveillance team currently monitoring the Hotel of the Poor in Plaza Pigeon Shit. The two suspects, code names Stan and Ollie, are still in their room and we have seen no activity this morning, although there is the distinct aroma of sausage and onions wafting from the apartment. Using the USB Bug19 cone listening device we have picked up the following conversation,
D: "Q is babbling in the corner" b: "It's an echo of the absinthe, D. It will pass." D: "What's SoulsRUs? Sounds Catholic." b: "Nah. It's a small concern he had, ceded to me. He keeps dreaming of the old days. He defrauded thousands. Horoscopes and spiritual journeys, that kind of thing. Failing, he wanted me to be CEO, and majority owner, for when the law comes, they won't go after simple stockholders." D: "He says he's on an airliner to Virginia." b: "So he says. But there he is, right over there in the corner." D: "So he is. What's this non-sense about Kissenger?" b: "It's his ego-ideal, projected. It's what he wants to be. The travel, the power, the money, the attention, the usual." D: "I see. I'm going down to the market to buy Q some Inchelium Red garlic bulbs and Shallots. That might help." b: "Good. Buy a small bottle of white wine for him as wll, it might help with the absinthe withdrawals."
“We are not sure if this is some kind of code or not or who this Q is they are talking about. We are only aware of three people being in the apartment, Stan, Ollie, and Guano Genitalia. Oh, and the horse of course. We saw the three men wander in late last night, with Guano bouncing about and shouting quirk, quirk, and quirk.
As you are aware Guano is a little crazy, the result of a blow to the head when he was a child. As his mother was attempting to remove a loose baby tooth, she tied a string to the tooth and then attached the other end to a door knob, but then, in her confusion, she slammed the door in the wrong direction. Now, most days, Guano can be seen riding a horse around the fountain in Piazza Navona. We are working on the assumption that Q may possibly be this Quirk.
We request that you send the Stan and Ollie conversation to the boys in Cryptology and see what they can make of it. Also, please check on this Quirk person and see what you can find out. I have requested heat-imaging equipment from the Carabinieri to verify just how many people are actually in the apartment. Perhaps, this Quirk was already in the apartment when the others arrived.
9:38 Roma time. This is the Capo della Polizia, I. M. Gonnagethcha. I am taking personal charge of this operation. We cannot afford more embarrassment to the Vatican or the Italian State. You’re message has been received and the transmission is being carried to Cryptology by one of my officers. I am giving top priority to finding information on this Quirk character. I have instructed our people to bypass all bureaucratic procedures and go directly to Google, no matter what the cost. We should have an answer shortly.
I.M.G. out.
9:47 am Roma time. Wagneri to I.M.G. The Carabinieri team arrived shortly after my last transmission. They have scanned the apartment from a couple different angles and have only been able to detect heat signatures from three people and a large horse.
Any results from Cryptology or the Google-search?
Wagneri over.
9:51 am Roma time. I.M.G. here. Nothing from Cryptology. They indicate the conversation appears to be gibberish. But we did get a hit on Quirk. We are still working the lead. I will get back to you.
11:03 am Roma time. I.M.G to Wagneri. Mr. Quirk typically just goes simply by the name Quirk, similar to heavyweights like Bono and Sting. He is the founder and major stockholder in Souls-R-Us, Inc. (USA) and Souls-R-Us International, LLC, a multinational conglomerate . He suffered some legal setbacks with lawsuits over ownership rights in 2007 and then was hurt badly by the 2008 recession. However, his fortunes had an extraordinary rebound in 2009 when he, through friends in Macau, was able to procure worldwide licensing and distribution rights for the Ben Wa balls concession, now being marketed through Souls-R-Us Erotica under the brand names Aphrodite Balls and Butch Balls.
We have tracked Quirk’s movements over the last couple of days through our contacts at U.S. Homeland Security. Two days ago, he flew from DTW airport outside of Detroit on a chartered flight to Cartagena, Mexico where he check into a suite at the El Caribe hotel. Nothing was seen of him again until this morning when he checked out of the El Caribe, flew to Houston and then caught a flight to Dulles airport in Virginia. He was last seen being let out of a limousine at the entrance to the Marriott Hotel in Chantilly, Va. He is said to be attending the Bilderberg 2012 conference being held there.
Because of the sensitivity of this case, I wanted to verify that this man actually was Quirk and not some imposter, therefore, I pulled in a few favors.
Both U.S. and Mexican Customs confirm the all the proper paperwork was processed, visas, passports, etc. TSA reported that in the Houston airport Quirk stopped at the US Airways Club and had two Remy Martins before boarding his plane. They were able to procure his glass, checked the fingerprints, and verified that it was indeed Quirk. We have copies of signed hotel bills and credit card statements and U.S. authorities have verified the signatures are Quirk's. Housekeeping at the El Caribe reported that the man in question inadvertently left a pair of his underwear under the bed in his suite and that they were monogrammed with the name Quirk. The porter at the El Caribe also testified that in addition to a generous tip Quirk also gave him a box of 12 Titleist golf balls embossed with a coat of arms and the name Souls-R-Us Sport.
On arriving at Dulles, Quirk was picked up on observation cameras by TSA, and his identity was easily verified by his rugged good looks, deep piercing eyes, brooding brow, dimples, the deep cleft in his square chin, and the dueling scar on his right cheek. Since he was on the guest list for Bilderberg 2012, he was also tracked by satellite and drone the entire distance from Dulles airport to the Marriott in Chantilly. While DNA tests on the Remy Martin glass from Houston are not back yet, we are pretty sure Quirk is not in Italy.
IN FACT, ONLY A COMPLETE IDIOT WOULD THINK THAT QUIRK WAS ANYWHERE NEAR ITALY MUCH LESS ROME!!!!!!
11:15 am Roma time. Wagneri to I.M.G. The information you provided confirms what our team has observed here. There is one new development to report. A short while ago the man identified as Stan left his apartment and proceeded towards the Datsun. Spotting one of the many neighborhood cats in this area, he grabbed it after luring it close with a piece of sausage. He then proceeded to examine its genitalia before throwing it into a knapsack he was carrying.
The next thing I know I hear screaming from behind me as Corporal Maria Pinatta of the elite Teamo Swato was being wrestled to the ground as she screamed “Bastardo! Bastardo! Bastardo!” It took two men to restrain her from going after Stan. Luckily, the suspect was so intent on the cat’s genitalia that I don’t think he noticed the hubbub. However, as I have ordered the Corporal back to headquarters under guard, I am now three Teamo Swato people short on this operation.
My report will request an official reprimand of Corporal Pinatta for actions unbecoming of an officer of the Polizia di Stato. Also I demand that the official record reflect my previous request that no one participating in this operation be a member of PETA, especially a person who was one of the founding members of Roma chapter!!! I also want anyone associated with assigning Pinatta to this mission to be reprimanded for gross incompetence. Madre mia, as they were dragging her away she kept shouting, “No. No. No. I want to be in on the kill.”
Wagneri out.
Note to readers: The Wikileak documents just keep coming in. We will try to get pertinent ones published as soon as possible after we have reviewed their content for appropriateness.
Il Vaticano Affiliato is reporting clandestinely(subscribers only) and without attribution that a fourth Cardinal is being interrogated in connection with 'la wikileak vicenda'. Further it is being reported that the College of the Cardinals is splitting into tre parti, the good, the bad, and the ugly, the African Cardinals composing the good, and being in a distinct minority.
Wherein art thou good, but to taste sack and drink it? Wherein neat and cleanly, but to carve a capon and eat it? Wherein cunning, but in craft? Wherein crafty but in villainy? Wherein villainous, but in all things? Wherein worthy but in nothing?
Demonstrators broke into a chant of "murderous scum", "treason" and "we are aware."
One young man yelled to the police: "We are not the criminals, the people in the building are the criminals."
"Honk if you hate the new world order," protester Steve Miroy yelled by megaphone to a passing car.
"These people rule the world. It's Satan's kingdom, they're the human form. They're really bad people."
"A shadowy group of rich people gathering together, making their plans for the world; I'm not going to sit on my ass and let them do it. They're gonna hear my voice."
I was going to try and sort this out, but I hardly know where to begin. There was an interesting story about our galaxy and neighboring galaxy passing through each other. The same thing occurred here on a micro scale.
A note of interest: Q does have keys to the front door. B shall continue to use the the broken fence.
{IIrony font} Reminds you of Romney doesn’t he? {…}
ReplyDeleteThe UK can produce them.
I have blabbered on before about political damage from the misuse and abuse of an imposed economic fetter but here it goes:
ReplyDeleteThe upper echelons of the European bureaucracy are now blaming each other for their collective failure to deal with the financial imbalance between north and south members. This is an unlimited disgrace.
The commission, the parliament, the heads of government have just had a two-day international conference in Brussels on the subject out of which there came NOTHING. Governmental, inter-governmental organizations which oversee Europe and European countries have abandoned ship. They are allowing markets to decide the future based on whatever they judge the least of competing risks.
Governments are supposed to govern and the EU was supposed to co-ordinate them. The peoples of Europe can now see that their own governments have individually and collectively FAILED to protect their own populations (their primary task) and the population of Europe (the primary task of the EU). I hope the electors will deal out just deserts to these failed politicians. The upper echelons of the Eurobureaucracy should all be collectively fired for dereliction of duty and failing to do the the job for which they are vastly overpaid.
I will have more to say about what this portends for us.
In a democracy, in theory at least, the government reflects the people's will as opposed to a top down, paternalistic, government tending the sheep of the people. While I'll grant that good leaders need to stand up to popular sentiment and convince them of what is 'right' the European people did debate and vote on the various provisions that led to the EU. I do remember initiatives failing against the urging of the leaders in national votes. Nationalist feelings trumped further integration. Further integration (i.e. Eurobonds and a central bank like the Federal Reserve) are often touted as the elixir to fix what ails them now. We see similar arguments against the Federal government in favor of States rights in the US.
DeleteIsn't Rufus who says "Democraceee is messy"? If only those damn Europeans could get their act together all would be right with the world economy :D
In short: deleveraging is a tricky and painful business and it isn't only Europe that needs deal with it. Storm clouds are gathering over US government leverage (as well as Canada's and many others...).
Delete"Governments are supposed to govern"
DeleteWho said governments are supposed to govern? I've heard people, and good ones too, say governments that govern least are best.
b
Unemployment up and Obama’s chances go down
ReplyDeleteWASHINGTON (MarketWatch) - The U.S. added just 69,000 jobs in May, the smallest increase in a year, the government reported Friday. Economists surveyed by MarketWatch expected a 165,000 increase. The unemployment rate, meanwhile, rose to 8.2% from 8.1%, mainly because more people entered the labor force even as hiring slowed. The average workweek fell 0.1 hour to 34.4 in May, while average hourly earnings climbed 2 cents to $23.41. Employment gains for April and March were revised lower. The number of new jobs created in April was reduced to 77,000 from an original estimate of 115,000, while March's figure was trimmed to 143,000 from 154,000.
I wish I could get excited about Romney.
Me too. He isn't exactly Sarah, for me.
DeleteBut then, on the upside, I don't loathe the guy, like I do Obama, he would be such an improvement over the Zero, and the wife likes him.
b
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ReplyDeleteAt this point, you might as well vote for the guy you hate least. It's not going to make a difference, not in four years.
The GOP and Obama, at least on economics, differ only at the margins and on the rhetoric. Gridlock will continue and the problems are so large decisions that are made will have little effect on the macro trend. The best thing we have going for us now is time and market cycles.
IMO, the election won't be decided on social issues.
Even on major issues, like Iran, you can't really count on anything any pol says during an election period, especially these two dicks.
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Clintons seem to be out to torpedo Obama -
ReplyDeletehttp://www.politico.com/politico44/2012/05/clinton-romneys-business-record-sterling-124980.html
b
Ostia ain't no port, it's a mud flat with some old buildings still standing around. Not even an old preserved Roman warship that we could see.
ReplyDeleteBack in Roma now, and things seem to be falling apart. D says the entire Swiss Guard wants to defect, when we spring Paolito. Demanding a ride to the Alps, and an even bigger cut in the book deals. D says they have us by the balls, we have no choice.
They could turn on us at any moment, he says.
Where in the hell is Quirk when we really need him?.....
How are we to fit all those guards in the Datsun van, and Paolo too?....
....
"What???!!!"
"Some guy says his name is Quirk."
"No."
"Yes."
"NO."
"YES!"
Mother of God, now and at the hour of our death....
"He says what?"
"Says he's got an alibi."
"We don't need an alibi, we need a bigger van."
"He's got some horse called alibi. Rode in here like The Lone Ranger. And a plan. Says Bless UPS, they got him here overnight. Says we'll have to take the risk, we have no choice. Says he can make it work. He does sound cool and collected, I'll say that. I think we should work with this guy. A little goofy, basically almost all there."
"Oh nooooo....Where'd you bump into him?"
"I was over at the Piazza Navona watching the young ladies, and the kids throwing pennies into the pool, and the older women who come and go, talking of Michelangelo, and he was riding the horse in circles round an' round the reflecting pool, going 'whoop, whoop', when he caught my eye."
"Oh, NOOOOOO...."
b
Quirk riding to the rescue in Rome atop risky --
ReplyDeletehttp://www.romeinformation.info/16.htm
b
D's been looking into the history of these papists -
ReplyDeleteAlexander VI, whose pontificate from 1492 to 1503 is generally agreed to have been the worst ever, was said to have presided over more orgies than Masses.
He came from the notorious Borgia family, who have been accused of adultery, rape, incest and murder. Alexander is said to have died from eating a poisoned apple.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/06/01/us-vatican-butler-intrigue-idUSBRE8500WS20120601
In the interest of fairness, they have had many good ones too. It's just that it's difficult for an angel to rise up in a pit of vipers, as the Italian free press is saying.
b
It crossed my mind that I'd recruit Ash for this mission too.
ReplyDeleteGolf
In the 1970s, Castel Gandolfo Country Club opened in Pavona. The complex is located in the crater of the ancient dried up lake and in the ancient villa of Cardinal Flavio Chigi.
Castel Gandolfo (Italian pronunciation: [kaˈstɛl ɡanˈdɔlfo],[1] Latin: Castrum Gandulphi, colloquially Castello in the Castelli Romani dialects) is a small Italian town or comune in Lazio that occupies a height overlooking Lake Albano about 15 miles south-east of Rome, on the Alban Hills. It is best known as the summer residence of the Pope. It is an Italian town with the population of 8834. The town was voted one of the most beautiful towns in Italy.[2]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castel_Gandolfo
He and the Pope could be shooting a round, as a diversion.
You will be happy to know this is my last communication until the day of Paolo's freedom, which we are calling Excarceration Sunday. Tentatively, we intend to act during Sunday Services and Sunday Banquet, unless Quirk objects for some reason. D doesn't think Q should be in the planning at all, after the to-do about the horse, but I have faith in Q, and he says a noble steed is always a requirement in a mission like this.
I was intending to video tape the whole proceedings like President Obama might do, but then D said, who has cased the whole compound many times, that on the front gate there is a sign that say NO CAMERAS so that is out.
from Rome
b
It crossed my mind that I'd recruit Ash for this mission too.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea, Bob. Say, wouldn't that PopeMobile go swell as a golf cart?
http:/thetelegraph.co.uk/story/frik-and-fraks-great-adventure/
ReplyDeleteFrik and Frak’s Great Adventure
By Bart Bartleson
London. For weeks, this paper and others have reported on the Vaticanleaks stories. Vatican intrigue, secret cabals, internecine fighting within the Curia, power struggles amongst the princes of the church, money laundering rumors, bank scandals, all the ingredients of a Dan Brown novel. The stories centered around the most powerful people in the Church, Tarcisio Bertone the Vatican Secretary of State and acting Carmelengo, George Ganswein the Pope’s Private Secretary, and Fr. Frederico Lombardi the Press Secretary and member of Opus Dei. Now, within the last week, the more modest in il Papa’s family have been drawn into the scandal.
The Pope’s butler, Paolo Gabriele, has been accused of stealing personal and state documents and leaking them to the press. Little has been said since the arrest but there have been lurid rumors of seduction by a beautiful femme fatale currently in the Pope’s service who spurred on by high placed shadowy figures lured the butler to his fate.
As the story unfolds, it continues to get more bizarre. Even as Wikileaks spokesperson, Julian Assange, prepares to be extradited to Sweden on rape charges, the organization’s London branch released a series of extraordinary communications purported to be between local Italian police organization, Interpol, various American law enforcement agencies, and black ops operations amongst major national and international groups like Peta and the International Association of Teachers of English as a Foreign Language (IATEFL). The stories center around two shadowy Americans, known by their code names Chip and Dale by US law enforcement and Stan and Ollie by the Italians.
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The American Connection
According to Wikileaks documents, two Americans, code named Chip and Dale in Homeland Security e-mails, recently book flight and travelled to Italy despite the fact that both were on various terrorist watch lists (ICE, Treasury, DEA, PETA, MENSA, TSA). The fact that there was no coordination amongst departments and the names were never transferred from any of the watch lists to the government’s no fly list has caused a stir within Homeland Security and throughout Washington and could ultimately lead to Congressional investigations or even the defeat of the President this fall.
The fact that they were able to get on the plane was bad enough but Wikileaks alleges they were also able to smuggle a ’79 Datsun aboard the plane. It’s rumored this has precipitated a purge at TSA. Public pressure is mounting because of the fact that TSA has not deployed equipment long purchased but now sitting in storage. TSA responds that that is a specious argument since there is no way a Datsun would even fit in there x-ray machines anyway.
It is reported that this incident has caused an immense strain between the governments of the U.S. and that of Italy. The situation is exacerbated by the fact that Italian customs allowed the pair to exit customs without having noticed they were carrying either the Datsun or some Chinook salmon roe they smuggled into the country in their belly bags.
The U.S. government has, through Interpol, issued a Red Notice on the two and is demanding their extradition back to the U.S. According to the Wiki documents, the Italians, because of their embarrassment especially at letting the salmon roe through, are at the moment resisting.
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The Italian Connection
The Wikileaks release of the Italian documents is even more startling. There is currently a territorial dispute amongst Italian law enforcement agencies over who should be handling the investigation into the Stan and Ollie matter. (The Italians were so pissed about the Chinook roe they changed the code names.) Subsequent documentation shows that the two American’s visit is related to the whole ‘butler affair’.
Since the Polizia di Stato have taken the lead on Vaticanleaks, they feel they should handle issues associated with the two Americans. On the other hand, the Arma del Carabinieri, feel they should take the lead since the whole affair now clearly has international implications. They also offered intelligence that indicates that some of the CIA agents that were involved in the 2003 kidnapping and extraordinary rendition of Abu Omar from Italy to Egypt are now back in country. These agents were subsequently convicted of the crimes In Italy in absentia and the Carabinieri are anxious to get their hands on them. According to the documents, the Carabinieri believe the agents are here to get the two Americans. While rendition to Egypt would be difficult at this time, it is believed the Americans still have access to facilities in Poland and Yemen.
A third agency, the Corpo Forestale dello Stato, argues that because of the Chinook roe, they should take the lead given their mandate to enforce poaching laws and environmental protection.
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Others
Wikileaks also has released documents issued between various intelligence agencies (CIA, NSA, the Carabinieri, and Interpol) that indicate a shadowy, black ops mission has been launched against the two Americans by independent groups, specifically PETA and the International Association of Teachers of English as a Foreign Language (IATEFL).
It appears the two groups have contracted with a notorious international operative qualified in wet work and known by the pseudonym Archangel. The object seems to be to take out Ollie who has continually embarrassed both groups by arguing for the poisoning of wolves and claiming, without documentation, that he is actually an English major. Stan has been designated ‘collateral damage’.
The US and the Italians argue that if anyone takes out Stan and Ollie, it should be one of them.
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The Truly Bizarre
What follows is the story of Stan and Ollie in Italy as it has been pieced together from official documents, personal e-mails, MSM news items, information from confidential informants, intercepted communications picked up on police-band radio, and an extended story published in the Enquirer.
Stan and Ollie’s quest has been truly bizarre and raises many more questions than it answers. Is this a rescue mission for the butler, a strange false-flag operation, or merely a quirky European vacation by two American dolts?
Timeline:
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Stan and Ollie arrive at Leonardo di Vinci airport in Rome and breeze through customs. They re-assemble their ’79 Datsun and head for their hotel. Their car is recognizable not only for being one of the last ’79 Datsun’s in the world but by its bubble top and the numerous bumper stickers on the back: Poison a Wolf for Christ; Anyone but Obama; and Free the Butler. The car was spotted and noted by officers of the Polizia di Stato who reported it to higher authorities. A watch notice was put out on the two Americans.
Italian authorities asked Interpol to add smuggling to the list of charges on the Red Notice.
Customs agents at Fiumicino report that the agent known as Archangel has also arrived travelling under the alias, John Smith with only carry-on luggage, a guitar case. Carabinieri agents put a tale on him but lose him within the first two blocks of the airport.
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Thursday, May 31, 2012
A strange day with strange activities by the Americans. They leave the Hotel Hoochie around 8:30 am and proceed down Via Depresso towards the car park where they left the Datsun. The smaller man, the driver Stan, seems oddly fixated on cats. He continuously stops and picks up stray cats on the street and examines their sex. Later in the day he is seen stuffing a couple into a knapsack.
At 9:30, the pair drop off the Datsun at Giorgio’s Garage and Canolli Shop on the Viale delle Prostitute and from there proceed to a sidewalk café where they purchase drinks and Italian ices. After three or four drinks they become rowdy and are asked to leave the café. They continue down the street where Ollie is beat up by a pimp for accosting a one-legged hooker. Stan is falling down drunk and no help at all so he takes out his frustration by beating up a homeless person with one of his newly acquired cats.
The polizia do not intervene, having instructions from on high to merely ‘track and observe’ but make sure nobody is permanently injured.
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Stan and Ollie return to Giorgio’s where they pick up the Datsun sedan that has now been modified into a Datsun van. The police, dressed as a touring reggae band, follow them undercover in a disguised camper painted to look like a touring bus and with loudspeakers pumping out Jammin [LINK] at a hundred an 130 decibels. Because the Datsun never makes it over 25 kilometers per hour, this tracking only lasts a few miles before the touring bus begins to overheat. The bus is then abandoned and the tale is taken over by officers alternating on Vespas and Segways, and mountain bikes.
Later, Stan and Ollie met with Colonel Elmer Theodore Mader, Captain-Commandant of the Swiss Guards and bought him lunch. A good time seemed to have been had by all.
Later in the day, Stan and Ollie split up with Ollie proceeding to a mall to walk about apparently aimlessly for a couple hours. Stan went to the race track where after abusing some gypsies he was beaten and robbed. Again, the police merely observed. Stan, covered in pigeon shit, is in a foul mood when he again meets up with Ollie.
The Interpol Red Alert has again been requested to be modified to include charges of solicitation, sexual assault, hate crimes against the disabled, assault, and animal cruelty.
Archangel was spotted by a Polizia di Stato meter maid at a roadside ammo kiosk but by the time officers arrived he was gone.
No sign of the CIA operatives yet.
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June 1, 2012
Stan and Ollie are up and about early. They are easy to tracks even on segways because of the McDonald’s coffee cups and egg mcmuffin wrappers tossed casually from the Datsun van. They make their way to St Peter’s Square and Italian law enforcement goes on high alert fearing that this might be the point where they make their move.
At 9:30 am, as Ollie stands about unobtrusively dressed in a frilly shirt, suspendered shorts, and lederhosen, Stan, who appears to be the brains of the operation, proceeds to the center of the square where he enters into secretive conversation with Joe ‘Mashed Potatoes’ Mencotti, known con man and tout. Listening devices aimed at the men reveal a conversation in which Stan purchases a ‘pass’ to get into the Vatican through the free entry gate. He also purchases a counterfeit Rolex watch and is given a complementary tip on a horse in tomorrow’s fifth race at Campanelle. Again, officers merely observed.
Skirting the public tours, Stan enters through the free gate and finding nobody to give his ‘pass’ to proceeds to enter into conversation with some Swiss Guards who are on break. As soon as he mentions his name and that he is with Ollie, the guard’s attention perks up quickly. They all appear to become very friendly.
After they left the Vatican, Stan and Ollie again split up, with Ollie heading to the mall to again pace aimlessly for a couple hours while Stan proceeded to the Piazza Novana where he spent some time leering at the ladies and the young children. After a time, he noticed the local eccentric, Guano Genitales, riding around the fountain on a horse as he does on most days. Approaching the whack-job, Stan questioned, Quirk? Guano, smiling, replied, Quirk. Then Stan shouted, Quirk! Quirk! Quirk! And Guano replied, Quirk! Quirk! Quirk! Everyone seemed quite relieved.
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Later that evening, Stan and Ollie, met up with a large group of Swiss Guards and bought them all dinner.
Again, the Interpol Red Report was asked to be updated to include new charges of littering, purchasing of counterfeit goods, loitering and voyeurism.
According to e-mails released by Wikileaks, The three cardinals that direct the actions of the Vatican police (Herranz, Tomko and De Giorgi) seem convinced that that there is someone higher up, a “steering committee” that is pulling the strings in the “Vatileaks” affair. They have also notified the Captain-Commandant of the Swiss Guards they expect to be cut in on this ‘sweet deal’ the guards have going with free meals from the Americanos.
Both American Express and Bank of America have put holds on further transactions on credit cards used by the two Americans until questions on certain “unusual activity” can be straightened out.
The Carabinieri, Interpol, and Conde Nast Traveller have all reported that the wanted CIA agents have been spotted in Piazza Vittorio Emanuele, a modern red-light district in Rome.
Archangel was again spotted purchasing a garrote and nunchucks at an all-night ninja supply kiosk on the Appian Way. Again, he escaped before officers could arrive. The Carabienieri captain in charge at the scene is quoted as saying, “He isa lika the wind.”
An inside informant at the Calabinieri has informed Wikileaks that tranquilizer darts shipped to the Americans by Idaho Fish and Game have been confiscated, stripped of tranquilizer, re-filled with cheap Vodka taken from Russian vacationers, and forwarded on to Stan and Ollie, this in accordance with the ‘track and observe’ mandate.
This report will be updated as new information is received and verified.
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Other Matters
Wikileaks has announced it has launched a civil suit for trademark infringement against those using the term Vaticanleaks.
Il Papa is secluded in his Castel Gondolfo retreat and is reportedly finding stories drifting up from Rome about two American ninjas in a clown car to be highly amusing although, in a sense, troubling.
Quirk, founder of the mega-corporation Sould-R-Us and a known anti-equestrian, arrived in Cartagena, Mexico last night to check on certain business properties he owns through the corporation. When asked about recent events in the Vatican, he had this to say, “Through the efforts of one of our affiliates, Spies-R-Us Maybe, I’ve been kept up to date on events in Rome. I will continue to monitor the situation. But things are fluid right now and that’s all I can say at the moment.’
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:)
ReplyDeleteAll I can say further now at his moment is as I was feeding risky a raw unwashed carrot in the Piazza del Campidoglio, I had an odd feeling and vision: an omen. I know now this is not going to end well. But the gods forbid speculation.
Earlier I had watered risk at the pool of the Fontana delle Naiadi. While there I was able to hook a couple of fat goldfish on a Royal Coachman dry which we will consume tonight. We have invited the Captain of the Swiss Guards again to dine and drink and converse with us. Rumors have surfaced on the street concerning possible 'outside interference' in our operation.
D, who doesn't eat fish on Fridays, is having a McItalian sent over from the McJoint at McDonald's
Corso di Francia, 80
00191 Rome, Italy
06 3322 0896
Tomorrow is fasting. I hope it is not my last supper.
sent from my Ipod, Roma, Italia, 1May2012 of the Year of our Lord.
b
McDonald's, Corso di Francia,80, Rome, Italy
Deletehttp://www.flickr.com/photos/mckroes/1215518260/
b
:)
ReplyDeleteYou youngsters is doing some mighty fine reporting. Keep it up.
You make an old man proud.
Honestly, Great Job; you have an immensely entertaining schtick going. Some pretty danged good writing.
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ReplyDeletee-mail dated 11:28 1May2012
To: Suzy Sankowski (Private Secretary to CEO, Souls-R-Us, Inc.)
Corporate Headquarters, Salem, MA 01970
Suz, I seem to recall giving a guy named Bob the business a few years back. Let me re-phrase that. I seem to remember giving Bob some inconsequential part of the business a few years back. However, I may have him confused with a lady named Melody who I know I gave part of the business to.
Bob appears to be in a bit of trouble right now. I would feel a certain obligation torwards him if we have any actual business relationship. If there is no business relationship, forget about him. If there is some form of business tie, contact Mike Carmano at Spies-R-Us Maybe and have him contact me at the Hotel El Caribe in Cartagena, Mexico. I would handle this myself but I am in the middle of some tricky negotiations at the moment.
Quirk
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... contact me at the Hotel El Caribe in Cartagena, Mexico. ...
DeleteThe Hotel El Caribe, it is in Cartagena, Colombia.
For accuracy's sake.
By Holy St. Anne, you are right. I do now remember you ceding me controlling interest in Souls. You were in the des pond at the time, and said it wasn't worth squat, and I was the only guy you could think of who really deserved it, other than maybe Rufus. I mentioned your e-mail to D, and he said, ask Q, he's out front, sleeping on a bench in the piazzeria. I rolled over and went back to sleep.
ReplyDeleteI see from your e-mail you don't seem to know what month it is, and you don't seem to know where you are, as usual for a man who travels much such as you.
What's might it mean, an eagle flying over the Coliseum, on a collision course with a tourist balloon, and suddenly dropping a tightly head anhydrous steelhead from its talons, straight into the grandstand where Caligula used to sit?
I took this an evil omen, but I might have been influenced by the song of the Good Claire nuns singing 'amen', and misunderstood their words. Time will tell, and we hope for the best and prepare for the worst, as always.
Really, boners notte now.
b
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ReplyDeleteHmmm. I have been a little out of sorts lately.
What I can do is
1. Gived you some advice. Forget the Swiss Guards. They are playing you. Trust no one.
2. I can have Mike Carmano take care of the CIA. Mike has friends in the Piazza Vittorio Emanuele. It should be easy to keep the CIA 'entertained' until you are out of Rome.
3. I can also slow down the Archangel. I'll send Carmano my brother-in-law's number, you know, the barber. He has contacts in Sicily, serious men. They are used to this kind of action. I wish I could think of someone off the top of my head that was as good as the Archangel but I've been riding a high since I got here and I'm just not thinking clearly. Hopefully, the gumbas will be able to keep Archangel off your back uniil you are out of Italy.
4. Through my contacts in the Church, I should be able to get you a pre-paid confession and a St. Christopher medal. Both should help if you will be riding around in that Datsun.
5. Most of the crimes on the Red Notice should be able to be handled fairly easily, all except, smuggling in the Chinook roe. For some reason, countries are hypersenitive about having food stuffs smuggled in. The Italians are the worst. You will have to figure that one out by yourself. Have you thought about eating it or feeding it to Risky and then, if worse comes to worse, eating Risky . Just a suggestion. I'll leave it up to you.
With regard to springing the butler, sorry, can't help you there. If you insist on attempting it you are on your own. He may be only a tool. He may have been set up. He may have been entrapped. He may have been played by others. But remember, only the corruptible can be corrupted. Forget about him.
I would say the same about Dale and the Datsun but I know you wouldn't do it.
Well, have fun. If you have time, visit a Sicilian bakery like Ciuri Ciuri located in the Monti district and have their cannoli, that or their bomba con crema. You will become addicted for life. Have some expresso with either and your body will love you.
Ciao.
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DeleteA night in Cartagena at the El Caribe on the cheap
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Dale and I are in the Albergo dei Poveri off the Piazza Piccione Shiatsu, local disrespectful name, in Roma. You are passed out on the bench outside, with intermittent wakefulness, so you know what a tough neighborhood this is, but great for concealment.
DeleteD is sleeping. Tomorrow we fast. And I gotta get some sleep. E Hemroid always said the mind is more alert on an empty stomach.
Paolito?
He may be only a tool. He may have been set up. He may have been entrapped. He may have been played by others. But remember, only the corruptible can be corrupted. Forget about him.
Never, it is that for which we are all come here, to this place of wickedness, for Paolito. It is for a jury to decide if your speculations are true.
Say, where did you park Risky tonight? He needs his oats and alfalfa.
Quirk, I hate to insist, but can't you get it through your mind that you are here in Rome with us?
I know that absinthe you have been drinking is tough stuff, but really....
I am not answering any more missives tonight. Have another glass of absinthe and leave me alone. Go to sleep. I do not mean to be testy, and I am not in a snit...
b
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DeleteWax Taylor: A Woman's Voice
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OY9aqmzbLZI
ReplyDeleteThis is what it was like in Venice, when we passed through.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/noxstar/3783125342/
This is where we are staying tonight - Pigeon Shit Plaza, Hotel of the Poor, Roma.
We are holed up on the third floor of the old crap brick building to the left.
b
In Berlin the two-year government bond yield fell below zero for the first time, with the bizarre result that jittery international investors are now paying – rather than being paid – for lending to Germany.
ReplyDeleteRead more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2153324/Markets-facing-rerun-Great-Panic-2008-Head-World-Bank-warns-Europe-heading-danger-zone-bleakest-day-global-economy-year.html#ixzz1wd7BdcOD
This is really bizarre. Have never heard of such a thing.
b
Can't you just keep the money under the mattress?
Deleteb
Quirk's back. Folks, Quirk's Back! You don't know what this means, how magnificent it is. There's good al' Quirk, over there in the corner of the room, cooking onions and pork sausage on the Coleman stove. Quirk's Back! Always uncertain in the lead up, always iffy before the action begins, always temporarily AWOL till the last moment, but he's back. As always. This is transcendentally bracing. We have no problems now. He's shaken off the intoxication, sobered up, off the park bench, with no ill done, except for his missing stolen shoes. Embracing the world again, he knows where he is, who he is, what needs to be done. And will do it.
ReplyDeleteThe ol' boy is back. :) Joy. This is as bracing for us here in Rome as Churchill returning to the Admiralty in those darkest days!
b
Humanity in 2045 (LINK)
ReplyDelete.
ReplyDeleteAnono-Bob, wake up and smell the onions and pork sausage.
Thank the lord it is only food you are being taken for. First, the Swiss Guards and now Guano Genitales.
I woke up this morning in a cheap hotel room not knowing who I was or where. I had the mother of all hangovers and looking at sausage or onions would have killed me. When I finally left my room, I was greeted by sultry "holas" offered by the various senoritas that lined the stairs. Besides the ladies, the only ones I saw there were a fat Mexican guy behind a desk reading a newspaper and a dark giant just short of seven foot tall with arms the size of J.Lo's thighs who eyed me silently as I stumbled out the door.
On the outside, I was greeted by the hot Mexican sun and the smell of garbage from the effluent in the gutters. It may be bad in Rome, but for a few hours I had my own hell in Cartagena.
I am now relaxing on a U.S. Airways flight heading east to Virginia. I have my eyes closed, a cold cloth across my forhead, and a Mimosa in my hand. There does not even appear to be any Italian flight attendants on board. I will check out the flight crew when I am able to walk more steadily.
As usual, in your rush to be a hero, you have again failed to check schedules. Had you done so, you would have notice the Bilderberg conference I attend each year. This year, Bilerberg 2012 is being held this weekend in Chantilly, Va just down the street from Langley. There is no way in the world I would miss it. I'm heading there now to catch the tail end (that's when they really let their hair down). Hopefully, I will get there before Kissenger scoffs down all those special little fruit tarts that I really love.
This year will be different for me. Although I have been invited, as I usually am because of my affiliation with Souls-R-Us I will actually be acting as an undercover agent for Occupy Bilderberg. I don't know if this feeling I have is excitement, fear, or just the effects of my stay in Cartagena. At any rate, I'm on my way.
As you can see, there is no way I could or would want to be in Rome cooking sausages and onions. No, what you have in that room in Rome is a massive idealism on the scale of that of the Republican faction in the Spanish Civil War, an itinerant whack-job who thinks he has finally found paradise in the person of two American dolts, a conspiracy theorists who drives a modified '79 Datsun and is fixated on cats, and a horse, the only normal figure in the bunch.
Once again, I encourage you to forget this foolishness and make you way home. One more piece of advice. Do not fly through the major airports. In your case that would be suicide. If you are interested, I have friends who can arrange for a boat to take you from Trapani to Tripoli where you can get lost in the general mayhem as you work to get your way back to the States. This option will require you get from Rome to Messina in Sicily on your own. Let me know.
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D: "Q is babbling in the corner"
ReplyDeleteb: "It's an echo of the absinthe, D. It will pass."
D: "What's SoulsRUs? Sounds Catholic."
b: "Nah. It's a small concern he had, ceded to me. He keeps dreaming of the old days. He defrauded thousands. Horoscopes and spiritual journeys, that kind of thing. Failing, he wanted me to be CEO, and majority owner, for when the law comes, they won't go after simple stockholders."
D: "He says he's on an airliner to Virginia."
b: "So he says. But there he is, right over there in the corner."
D: "So he is. What's this non-sense about Kissenger?"
b: "It's his ego-ideal, projected. It's what he wants to be. The travel, the power, the money, the attention, the usual."
D: "I see. I'm going down to the market to buy Q some Inchelium Red garlic bulbs and Shallots. That might help."
b: "Good. Buy a small bottle of white wine for him as wll, it might help with the absinthe withdrawals."
from Hotel of the Poor, Plaza Pigeon Shit, Roma, Italia 2/6/2012
b
D, going out the door, turns back -
DeleteD: "He really drank two bottles of that absinthe shit?"
b: "Two? Nearly four! The bum that stole his shoes got the last half of the fourth, when Q was contemplating the night pigeons passing."
b
ETHANOL SUCKS -
ReplyDeleteEthanol blends SUCK.
The Ethanol lobby can bite my a$$.
And they are my neighbors. Govt teat sucking farmers.
Their govt $$ distorts the price of my calves in the fall.
I don’t get subsidies but they inadvertently punish me in many ways.
Another way is their govt subsidies drive up the price of land rent.
Subsidies should never happen. Period.
Badger40 on June 2, 2012 at 3:39 PM
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AND it is true ethanol blends ruin engines.
Took us 2 small Honda engines & about $1000 later to figure it out.
We were using the engine to run a well pump in a pasture.
The 1st one lasted a year. The 2nd not even that long.
Finally put in a windmill.
But it was the ethanol blend that did it bcs the 3rd engine we specifically avoid it & it’s still running.
THANKS FEDERAL GOVERNMENT!!!!!
Badger40 on June 2, 2012 at 3:43 PM
Ethanol the biofuels Solyndra -
http://hotair.com/archives/2012/06/02/is-ethanol-now-the-biofuels-solyndra/
b
Badger is either an ignorant ass, or a lying pussy.
ReplyDeleteBadger just wants some more of that govt. subsidized $2.00 corn to feed to his cows. Also, I betcha he got govt. money for the windmill. Sounds like one of Doug's buddies.
Delete.
DeleteYou mean those damn ethanol guys have been getting a double wammy on ethanol production, the long standing ethanol subsidies and also subsidies on the feedstock?
Bastards!
:)
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10 - 1 he was running an under-sized engine for the job, and not maintaining it properly (ask the people down at John Deere about cattle ranchers.)
ReplyDeleteUncouth S.O.B.'s that should never be left alone on a cattle drive.
DeleteThat nimrod Badger is not driving those cattle to market.
DeleteHe's a trucker, not a cowboy.
Using those Federal hiway dollar tax subsidies to get his meat to market.
As he said, he was using small engines to do a "big" task.
Then lies about his use of Federal subsidies in his agricultural business.
Another of those anti-government ranters that could not survive a season without the Federals maintaining the roads and the USDA inspectors at the slaughter houses.
I don't mean to sound crass (or naive) (or irrelevant) but the two of you should put your skills to productive use and put together a screenplay.
ReplyDelete(That is allegedly how Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo "created" the Bridesmaids movie.)
Jim Carrey could play "b" and George Clooney could play Q and Billy Bob Thornton could play Dale.
I'm serious (sort of.) Couldn't be any worse than I can't think of the name - that middle eastern character who brings his schtick to America where he encounters all sorts of absurdist entanglements. (Seriously, he's not funny. You guys are much funnier - Kristen Wiig caliber.)
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DeleteThanks.
But there is not way I can work with that wolf poisoner.
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Delete...no way...
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World Population:
ReplyDelete1804 1 billion
1850 1.2 billion
1900 1.6 billion
1927 2 billion
1950 2.55 billion
1955 2.8 billion
1960 3 billion
1965 3.3 billion
1970 3.7 billion
1975 4 billion
1980 4.5 billion
1985 4.85 billion
1990 5.3 billion
1995 5.7 billion
1999 6 billion
2006 6.5 billion
2009 6.8 billion
2011 7 billion
2025 8 billion
2043 9 billion
2083 10 billion
LINK
The hope for a better future lies in .......... bugs.
ReplyDeleteEarth is a microbial planet. Micro-organisms make up about half the planet’s biomass, and without them, large animals could not survive. Because they are so small, so abundant and so differentiated, they also contain most of the earth’s genetic diversity. One of the most important discoveries to emerge from the human-genome projects, both at the N.I.H. and at Celera, was the revelation that humans have relatively few genes. Before the human-genome map, most scientists assumed that there were about 100,000 genes in our DNA. In fact, there are about 20,000, or fewer than those of a typical grape.
LINK
I swear there's a place for my wife in the Idaho Fish and Game Department. And a lesson here as well - never let the wife near the squirrel feeder. First she bitches about me feeding the squirrel, then criticizes me for the way I'm doing it, then....gets involved.
ReplyDeleteI was going to buy some more salted sunflower seeds, but couldn't find them at Wal-Mart, so she goes to the Garden Center part, and comes back with sacks of seeds, some mixed, plus a big sack of dried corn cobs, and a fancy feeder that looks like a Swiss Chalet. She sets all this stuff up, and stores the sacks on the porch. What happens?
The sacks on the porch are immediately raided, leaving seeds all over the place, the sacks pouring seeds between the slats onto the ground under, where we can't get to, the Chalet is torn apart, and the dried corn cobs totally ignored.
Then, this huge new squirrel shows up, chases my favorite little guy or gal off, the one I was teaching to respond to my whistle, and proclaims himself King.
Yep, there' a place in Idaho Fish and Game for my wife.
b
So now my daughter is researching if horses can handle dried corn cobs. Anyone know?
DeleteWe may have to hire a carpenter to restore the Swiss Chalet feeder, and its fancy sliding glass doors.
Or go back to me throwing sunflower seeds on the ground, which didn't seem to set well with my wife's upper class attitudes.
b
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Delete:)
DeleteI'm silent until tomorrow, when the action the begins. We are concentrating our minds now, like lasers.
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Say, it is a big waste of time watching that Hemroid and Gelhorn movie. My wife can't stand Hemingway and she lasted longer than I.
Tell me if know know of anyone who has killed a marlin with a right hook to the jaw? And, in the boat where the blood gushing, if there would be blood gushing, goes all over the deck? You'd shatter your hand to a pulp before you could kill a marlin that way, whose head has a brain maybe the size of a walnut, the rest being bone and cartilage. They'd kill the poor marlin, after it's exhausted, gaffed by the side of the boat, with a .22 to the back of the skull. Clean and neat, like you'd kill cattle at the feedlot with a stun gun.
Further, "everything dies" a necrofoolish and meaningless statement I doubt Ernie ever muttered.
Further, I can't recall Hem ever smoking cigars. I remember Churchill smoking cigars though. I remember Q trying to smoke a cigar once, and coughing uncontrollably. I do recall a photo of Hem with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, unlit, in Spain, in a photo op for the furtherance of the profitability of Hemingway,Inc., with a bunch of partisan fighters.
Finally, Gelhorn said she was the worst fuck on seven continents and in 57 states, and always was relieved to just get it over with, so the image of her waltzing into the Sloppy Joe's Bar like one of Q's Cartegena hookers, arching her ass up in the air like I can take anything that comes, is, well, lightly stated, not to be believed.
This was where I quit, about 1 1/2 minute into this money making fraud of a film. My wife lasted nearly 35 minutes before she gave up, saying, "That's the worst movie I've ever seen."
b
I'm silent until tomorrow, when the action the begins. We are concentrating our minds now, like lasers.
DeleteExcept for Q, who is back to sleep.
b
This comment has been removed by the author.
Delete.
Delete(Continued...)
You big dumb doodoo shit punkass.
Why did you interupt the flow of my narrative?
You could have started out a new post, but noooooooo.
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Piddle, piddle, piddle.
Deleteb
This is interesting - they may have it figured out -
ReplyDeleteAmelia Earhart found?
http://hotair.com/archives/2012/06/02/amelia-earhart-found/
b
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ReplyDeleteNow you've done it, you dumb shit.
The reply tab on my post won't work anymore.
I'm going to repost this thing and then I'm done with you.
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ReplyDeleteFuck you, and Hem, and Gelhorn, and Earhart, and the horse you all rode in on.
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Piddle, piddle, piddle, piddle.
Deleteb
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ReplyDeletehttp://thetelegragh.co.uk/butler/brew/haha/storyupdate/
Frik and Frak’s European Adventure – Update 02062012
By Bart Bartelson
LONDON. This is a follow-up to the story we posted here yesterday concerning activities of two bizarre Americans, a horse, and their strange misadventures related to the butler Paolo Gabriele and the Vatileaks scandal in Rome.
The story centers on the two Americans, code named Stan and Ollie, and their horse Risky [name reportedly verified on hyper-sensitive recording devices used by the Italian Polizia di Stato]. All are under close scrutiny by authorities.
Wikileaks operatives have submitted the following communications exclusively to two news agencies, the Telegraph and al-Jazeera. The communications have been pulled using police-band monitoring devices and purportedly are between the on-site surveillance team and the Polizia di Stato central authorities.
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The following transmissions (translated for our readers) were reported today, 2Jun2012:
9:36 Roma time. “Hello, are you receiving? This is Capt. Roberto Wagneri, leader of the surveillance team currently monitoring the Hotel of the Poor in Plaza Pigeon Shit. The two suspects, code names Stan and Ollie, are still in their room and we have seen no activity this morning, although there is the distinct aroma of sausage and onions wafting from the apartment. Using the USB Bug19 cone listening device we have picked up the following conversation,
D: "Q is babbling in the corner"
b: "It's an echo of the absinthe, D. It will pass."
D: "What's SoulsRUs? Sounds Catholic."
b: "Nah. It's a small concern he had, ceded to me. He keeps dreaming of the old days. He defrauded thousands. Horoscopes and spiritual journeys, that kind of thing. Failing, he wanted me to be CEO, and majority owner, for when the law comes, they won't go after simple stockholders."
D: "He says he's on an airliner to Virginia."
b: "So he says. But there he is, right over there in the corner."
D: "So he is. What's this non-sense about Kissenger?"
b: "It's his ego-ideal, projected. It's what he wants to be. The travel, the power, the money, the attention, the usual."
D: "I see. I'm going down to the market to buy Q some Inchelium Red garlic bulbs and Shallots. That might help."
b: "Good. Buy a small bottle of white wine for him as wll, it might help with the absinthe withdrawals."
Transmission complete.
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“We are not sure if this is some kind of code or not or who this Q is they are talking about. We are only aware of three people being in the apartment, Stan, Ollie, and Guano Genitalia. Oh, and the horse of course. We saw the three men wander in late last night, with Guano bouncing about and shouting quirk, quirk, and quirk.
As you are aware Guano is a little crazy, the result of a blow to the head when he was a child. As his mother was attempting to remove a loose baby tooth, she tied a string to the tooth and then attached the other end to a door knob, but then, in her confusion, she slammed the door in the wrong direction. Now, most days, Guano can be seen riding a horse around the fountain in Piazza Navona. We are working on the assumption that Q may possibly be this Quirk.
We request that you send the Stan and Ollie conversation to the boys in Cryptology and see what they can make of it. Also, please check on this Quirk person and see what you can find out. I have requested heat-imaging equipment from the Carabinieri to verify just how many people are actually in the apartment. Perhaps, this Quirk was already in the apartment when the others arrived.
Wagneri out.
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9:38 Roma time. This is the Capo della Polizia, I. M. Gonnagethcha. I am taking personal charge of this operation. We cannot afford more embarrassment to the Vatican or the Italian State. You’re message has been received and the transmission is being carried to Cryptology by one of my officers. I am giving top priority to finding information on this Quirk character. I have instructed our people to bypass all bureaucratic procedures and go directly to Google, no matter what the cost. We should have an answer shortly.
I.M.G. out.
9:47 am Roma time. Wagneri to I.M.G. The Carabinieri team arrived shortly after my last transmission. They have scanned the apartment from a couple different angles and have only been able to detect heat signatures from three people and a large horse.
Any results from Cryptology or the Google-search?
Wagneri over.
9:51 am Roma time. I.M.G. here. Nothing from Cryptology. They indicate the conversation appears to be gibberish. But we did get a hit on Quirk. We are still working the lead. I will get back to you.
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11:03 am Roma time. I.M.G to Wagneri. Mr. Quirk typically just goes simply by the name Quirk, similar to heavyweights like Bono and Sting. He is the founder and major stockholder in Souls-R-Us, Inc. (USA) and Souls-R-Us International, LLC, a multinational conglomerate . He suffered some legal setbacks with lawsuits over ownership rights in 2007 and then was hurt badly by the 2008 recession. However, his fortunes had an extraordinary rebound in 2009 when he, through friends in Macau, was able to procure worldwide licensing and distribution rights for the Ben Wa balls concession, now being marketed through Souls-R-Us Erotica under the brand names Aphrodite Balls and Butch Balls.
We have tracked Quirk’s movements over the last couple of days through our contacts at U.S. Homeland Security. Two days ago, he flew from DTW airport outside of Detroit on a chartered flight to Cartagena, Mexico where he check into a suite at the El Caribe hotel. Nothing was seen of him again until this morning when he checked out of the El Caribe, flew to Houston and then caught a flight to Dulles airport in Virginia. He was last seen being let out of a limousine at the entrance to the Marriott Hotel in Chantilly, Va. He is said to be attending the Bilderberg 2012 conference being held there.
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Because of the sensitivity of this case, I wanted to verify that this man actually was Quirk and not some imposter, therefore, I pulled in a few favors.
Both U.S. and Mexican Customs confirm the all the proper paperwork was processed, visas, passports, etc. TSA reported that in the Houston airport Quirk stopped at the US Airways Club and had two Remy Martins before boarding his plane. They were able to procure his glass, checked the fingerprints, and verified that it was indeed Quirk. We have copies of signed hotel bills and credit card statements and U.S. authorities have verified the signatures are Quirk's. Housekeeping at the El Caribe reported that the man in question inadvertently left a pair of his underwear under the bed in his suite and that they were monogrammed with the name Quirk. The porter at the El Caribe also testified that in addition to a generous tip Quirk also gave him a box of 12 Titleist golf balls embossed with a coat of arms and the name Souls-R-Us Sport.
On arriving at Dulles, Quirk was picked up on observation cameras by TSA, and his identity was easily verified by his rugged good looks, deep piercing eyes, brooding brow, dimples, the deep cleft in his square chin, and the dueling scar on his right cheek. Since he was on the guest list for Bilderberg 2012, he was also tracked by satellite and drone the entire distance from Dulles airport to the Marriott in Chantilly. While DNA tests on the Remy Martin glass from Houston are not back yet, we are pretty sure Quirk is not in Italy.
IN FACT, ONLY A COMPLETE IDIOT WOULD THINK THAT QUIRK WAS ANYWHERE NEAR ITALY MUCH LESS ROME!!!!!!
I.M.A. over.
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11:15 am Roma time. Wagneri to I.M.G. The information you provided confirms what our team has observed here. There is one new development to report. A short while ago the man identified as Stan left his apartment and proceeded towards the Datsun. Spotting one of the many neighborhood cats in this area, he grabbed it after luring it close with a piece of sausage. He then proceeded to examine its genitalia before throwing it into a knapsack he was carrying.
The next thing I know I hear screaming from behind me as Corporal Maria Pinatta of the elite Teamo Swato was being wrestled to the ground as she screamed “Bastardo! Bastardo! Bastardo!” It took two men to restrain her from going after Stan. Luckily, the suspect was so intent on the cat’s genitalia that I don’t think he noticed the hubbub. However, as I have ordered the Corporal back to headquarters under guard, I am now three Teamo Swato people short on this operation.
My report will request an official reprimand of Corporal Pinatta for actions unbecoming of an officer of the Polizia di Stato. Also I demand that the official record reflect my previous request that no one participating in this operation be a member of PETA, especially a person who was one of the founding members of Roma chapter!!! I also want anyone associated with assigning Pinatta to this mission to be reprimanded for gross incompetence. Madre mia, as they were dragging her away she kept shouting, “No. No. No. I want to be in on the kill.”
Wagneri out.
Note to readers: The Wikileak documents just keep coming in. We will try to get pertinent ones published as soon as possible after we have reviewed their content for appropriateness.
Bart Bartleson
Star date 30092012
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Il Vaticano Affiliato is reporting clandestinely(subscribers only) and without attribution that a fourth Cardinal is being interrogated in connection with 'la wikileak vicenda'. Further it is being reported that the College of the Cardinals is splitting into tre parti, the good, the bad, and the ugly, the African Cardinals composing the good, and being in a distinct minority.
ReplyDeleteb
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DeleteI thought you went to bed, you dumb shit.
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Taunt me a second time.
DeleteThou burly-boned hasty-witted barnacle.
Take you me for a sponge?
Wherein art thou good, but to taste sack and drink it? Wherein neat and cleanly, but to carve a capon and eat it? Wherein cunning, but in craft? Wherein crafty but in villainy? Wherein villainous, but in all things? Wherein worthy but in nothing?
Now I am agoing to dormitorioward.
b
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DeleteGood. You finally spare us you dribbling pooch.
I'm done with you and Vatileaks.
If I do any reporting now it will be to provide a historical assessment of my activities at Bilderberg 2012.
A pox on you.
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"Get out of our country," yelled one
ReplyDelete"Traitor," screamed another.
Demonstrators broke into a chant of "murderous scum", "treason" and "we are aware."
One young man yelled to the police: "We are not the criminals, the people in the building are the criminals."
"Honk if you hate the new world order," protester Steve Miroy yelled by megaphone to a passing car.
"These people rule the world. It's Satan's kingdom, they're the human form. They're really bad people."
"A shadowy group of rich people gathering together, making their plans for the world; I'm not going to sit on my ass and let them do it. They're gonna hear my voice."
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/jun/02/bilderberg-virginia-tea-party-occupy
I was going to try and sort this out, but I hardly know where to begin. There was an interesting story about our galaxy and neighboring galaxy passing through each other. The same thing occurred here on a micro scale.
ReplyDeleteA note of interest: Q does have keys to the front door. B shall continue to use the the broken fence.