Saturday, May 03, 2008

Meet Boris Johnson, New Conservative Mayor of London


Boris Johnson, the Conservative party candidate, has defeated Ken Livingstone, the utterly contemptible Labour party's incumbent, to become the new mayor of London. 

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  • "Try as I might I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth-profit matrix and stay conscious" - on his week-long career in management consultancy
  • "Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3" - on the campaign trail in 2004
  • "If I was in charge I would get rid of Jamie Oliver and tell people to eat what they like" - striking a blow for the right to eat pies at the 2006 Tory conference. He later described Oliver as a "national saint"
  • "I think if I made a huge effort always to have a snappy, inspiring soundbite on my lips, I think the sheer mental strain of that would be such that I would explode" - on his unique political style
  • "I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed and so it did not go up my nose. In fact, I may have been doing icing sugar" - after being questioned on Have I Got News for You about drug use
  • "I will add Papua New Guinea to my global itinerary of apology" - after suggesting the country was known for "chief-killing and cannibalism"
  • "I have not had an affair with Petronella. It is complete balderdash. It is an inverted pyramid of piffle" - on press reports of his relationship with Ms Wyatt
BBC

23 comments:

  1. And so goes, the icing on the cake.

    But then again, it may just be cocaine ...

    ... that's drivin' that train

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  2. Because someone was certainly Asleep at the Wheel

    The Labour Party, and its leader, Gordon Brown, have been comprehensibly humbled. The prime minister's day grew even worse when it became clear that Labour had lost its biggest prize: the mayoralty of London.

    Results from the 159 local authorities that held elections (local polls are staggered so that not everyone votes at the same time) show that Labour scored its worst performance in local elections for 40 years. Labour polled just 24% of the total, a full 20 points behind the opposition Conservatives and a point behind the Liberal Democrats. It did badly even in some regions where it has traditionally been invulnerable, such as industrial bits of Wales, losing more council seats than even the most pessimistic predictions envisaged. The Conservatives, meanwhile, made some symbolic gains in hitherto hostile territory in the north of England. David Cameron, the Tory leader, described the result as “a big moment”. A “bad” and “disappointing” night, said Mr Brown.

    The line emanating from some Labour ministers is that voters were responding to the depressing economic climate, and also, more apologetically, that the government needs to do a better job of listening to their concerns.


    Gloom for Gordon Brown
    May 2nd 2008
    From Economist.com

    The Labour Party is battered at the polls

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  3. "Between 1986 and 2000, London was the only major city in the world without a centrally managed government with city-wide powers. Responsibility for the services that had been provided by the GLC was divided between central government, the London boroughs, the City of London and a new set of London-wide bodies.

    The Greater London Authority

    In 1997, the newly elected government set out its proposal to reinstate a London-wide authority. The proposed model for a directly elected Mayor and London Assembly with city-wide responsibility was based on American cities.

    In May 1998 a referendum was held. On a turnout of 34% of Londoners, 72% voted in favour of the proposal and the Greater London Authority Act 1999 passed through Parliament and received Royal Assent in October 1999. The first Mayoral and London Assembly elections were held in May 2000 and the GLA as it is known today officially started work on 3 July 2000."

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  4. Where's Jimmy Carter to decertify the election due to fraud?

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  6. As I read that Mr Bush asked for another $90 BillionUSD to fund the War on Terror through the end of his tenure, the arguement of the unknowable future looks awfully thin. Despite what Docl Morris wrote

    The "what ifs" we were to leave Iraq to the Iraqi.
    They cannot be answered, so the US must remain, because no one knows what may happen were we to leave.

    Past piss poor performance demands we continue a pace.

    Sorry, but I'll vote no on that.

    The other issues may keep me from voting for a Democrat, but I'd not vote to stay the current course in Iraq.

    Because I fear not the unknown future.

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  7. Gates of Vienna reports that socialist Spain has a no-pursuit policy in place after Muslim pirates are paid off. Imagine if FBI agents were pursuing kidnappers and were told to veer off because a run of the license plate through the computer revealed the getaway car was registered to a one Mohammad Hassim Jamal ibn al-Fayed. The new UN "Law of the Sea" (LOST) Treaty puts the Turtle Bay Pirates who brought you the Oil-for-Food scam into direct control of the 71% of the Earth's surface covered by water. You can imagine they will protect their own and outlaw the mistreatment of Muslim pirates like they have in lawless Somalia.

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  8. Boris Johnson. Sounds like a good name for a prophylactic.

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  9. Johnson & Johnson is in negotiations to buy out the maker of Astrolube.

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  10. Speaking of which. EURSOC is reporting:

    http://www.eursoc.com/news/fullstory.php/aid/2470/Baby_Boom_A_La_Fran%E7aise.html
    .
    .
    Churchill once said: "The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Fenchmen in the image of Englishmen".

    Whether the Almighty was right or wrong in terms of 'image', He got his figures wrong. There are going to be a lot more Frenchmen
    .
    .

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  11. Go to hell Ken Livingstone....

    May satan take you as a whore, Ken Livingstone

    May the fires of hell roast your dhimmi nuts til cooked

    Go to hell Ken Livingstone....

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  12. "An inverted pyramid of piffle?"

    Yikes,

    gotta be a Conservative; no Liberal can be that articulate.

    :)

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  13. It seems as if someone is attacking youtube.

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  14. And, ironically, they are filming the Denial-of-Service attack from their end, and they will post it on YouTube later.

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  16. Making Metuselah's link clicky.

    It's a race between Iran and France to seen which country will be the next to have a Muslim Bomb, Iran by building a Bomb, and France by going Muslim.

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  17. I wonder if the Village People have an opening for him?

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  18. "It is an inverted pyramid of piffle"

    hehe

    I dare say, that's really quite good, actually.(Taps umbrella on floor)

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  19. $90 BillionUSD to fund the War

    $90B divided by $3B/per nuclear reactor = 30 nuclear reactors that bob wants.

    I agree it's disheartening. Is there some middle ground between this flushing the bank account, and just hi-ho we'
    re totally going home?

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  20. Born in New York, another anchor baby--that makes him one of us.

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  21. Part of the cause is the well-known 'carte famille nombreuse', meaning in practice, a permit for sustantial discounts and subsidies for families with three or more children. Especially if they travel by the state-owned railway, the SNCF. Fare discounts can reach up to 75 per cent

    Now there's a hell of a good reason to have another kid. Especially in your older years:(

    "Ah come on, Bridgette, think of
    SNCF savings."

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  22. .
    YEY BORIS! Boris may be a buffoon, but at least he's not a communist one.

    Bloody good news! Praise the Lord! Thank God! There is hope for Londonistan. What will Red Ken do next?

    :)

    .
    absurd thought -
    God of the Universe says
    elect a communist

    someone who will work full-time
    to destroy your country

    .
    http://haltterrorism.com
    .
    http://lulu.com/uspace
    :)
    .

    ReplyDelete