tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post4081774075880208834..comments2024-03-28T06:32:24.557-04:00Comments on The Elephant Bar: Sorry, wrong blog!Deuce ☂http://www.blogger.com/profile/13472858446242700869noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-10825732430476916262013-06-15T17:20:57.041-04:002013-06-15T17:20:57.041-04:00I am genuinely thankful to the owner of this web s...I am genuinely thankful to the owner of this web site who has shared <br />this great paragraph at at this place.<br /><br />Also visit my web site: <a href="http://nysacpr.org/michaelkors.html" rel="nofollow">Michael Kors Outlet</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-58592897341627924012013-06-15T16:40:32.238-04:002013-06-15T16:40:32.238-04:00Wow, incredible blog layout! How long have you
be...Wow, incredible blog layout! How long have you <br />been blogging for? you make blogging look easy.<br />The overall look of your web site is magnificent, let alone the content!<br /><br /><br />my blog post ... <a href="http://nysacpr.org/kevindurantshoes.html" rel="nofollow">Kevin Durant Shoes 2013</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-90141760243161160782013-06-15T16:36:23.665-04:002013-06-15T16:36:23.665-04:00I am actually thankful to the holder of this site ...I am actually thankful to the holder of this site who has shared this impressive piece of writing <br />at at this time.<br /><br />Here is my blog post; <a href="http://nysacpr.org/lebrojamesshoes.html" rel="nofollow">LeBron James Shoes 2013</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-63200661476160703722011-01-23T07:31:56.903-05:002011-01-23T07:31:56.903-05:00Linear, those had me in belly laughs. Eggcellent.Linear, those had me in belly laughs. Eggcellent.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-56155014477468392162011-01-23T03:15:55.102-05:002011-01-23T03:15:55.102-05:00THE MAFIA BOOKKEEPER
A Mafia Godfather finds out ...THE MAFIA BOOKKEEPER<br /><br />A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court.<br /><br />When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.<br /><br />The Godfather tells the lawyer "Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is?"<br /><br />The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper.<br /><br />The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."<br /><br />The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."<br /><br />The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple and says, "Ask him again!"<br /><br />The attorney signs to the bookkeeper: "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"<br /><br />The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens !"<br /><br />The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?" The attorney replies:<br /><br />"He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger.linearthinkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05201292791445921817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-24320033421785362132011-01-23T03:05:07.740-05:002011-01-23T03:05:07.740-05:00Alleged, but disputed, Mensa Invitational Word Con...Alleged, but disputed, Mensa Invitational Word Contest, wherein readers are invited to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.<br /><br />Here are the winners:<br /><br />1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.<br /><br />2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.<br /><br />3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.<br /><br />4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.<br /><br />5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.<br /><br />6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.<br /><br />7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high<br /><br />8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.<br /><br />9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.<br /><br />10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)<br /><br />11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.<br /><br />12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.<br /><br />13. Glibido : All talk and no action.<br /><br />14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.<br /><br />15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.<br /><br />16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.<br /><br />17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.linearthinkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05201292791445921817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-53673510395272393722011-01-23T03:03:17.650-05:002011-01-23T03:03:17.650-05:00Alternate meanings for common words.
1. Coffee, ...Alternate meanings for common words.<br /><br /><br />1. Coffee, n.. The person upon whom one coughs.<br /><br />2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.<br /><br />3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.<br /><br />4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.<br /><br />5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.<br /><br />6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.<br /><br />7. Lymph, v.. To walk with a lisp.<br /><br />8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.<br /><br />9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.<br /><br />10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.<br /><br />11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.<br /><br />12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.<br /><br />13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.<br /><br />14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.<br /><br />15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.<br /><br />16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish menlinearthinkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05201292791445921817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-17447904985438513902011-01-23T03:01:50.381-05:002011-01-23T03:01:50.381-05:00I found a few:
Blogger Teresita said...
I su...I found a few:<br /><br />Blogger Teresita said...<br /><br /> I surveyed 100 men and asked what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them <br /><br />said, "How did you get in here?"<br /><br /> Sat Jan 22, 10:57:00 PM EST<br /><br />-----<br /><br />Sea Food<br /><br />Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.<br /><br />"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.<br /><br />"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did. "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did. "Now we eat everybody." And they did.<br /><br />When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"<br /><br />His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the crap inside!"linearthinkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05201292791445921817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-80951383251328041752011-01-23T01:57:50.068-05:002011-01-23T01:57:50.068-05:00Need jokes for brother in law laid up with double ...Need jokes for brother in law laid up with double knee replacement.<br /><br />Scoured the funny cards rack at Barns and Noble and refused to pay $2.89 for that crap.<br /><br />Thanks in advance.<br /><br />LTlinearthinkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05201292791445921817noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-36914730468244815172011-01-23T01:46:47.319-05:002011-01-23T01:46:47.319-05:00FOX News Hires Olbermann<a href="http://gatewaypundit.rightnetwork.com/2011/01/breaking-fox-news-hires-olbermann/" rel="nofollow"> FOX News Hires Olbermann</a>Doughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16770268554450465514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-16314690603798232702011-01-23T00:13:31.238-05:002011-01-23T00:13:31.238-05:00Hey, assholes, I saved it as a draft!!!
You guys ...Hey, assholes, I saved it as a draft!!!<br /><br />You guys are cruisin for a brusin, and Bob and I are just the guys to do it!Doughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16770268554450465514noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-2170454953475113662011-01-22T22:57:23.784-05:002011-01-22T22:57:23.784-05:00I surveyed 100 men and asked what shampoo they use...I surveyed 100 men and asked what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, "How did you get in here?"Teresitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05528002521904908827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-66628762681834698452011-01-22T21:33:20.043-05:002011-01-22T21:33:20.043-05:00The trailer for Daktari
The Duke swinging a rope....<a href="http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3528458265/" rel="nofollow">The trailer for Daktari</a><br /><br />The Duke swinging a rope.<br /><br />I still have to go see True Grit.<br />The Dude, playing the Duke.desert rathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02369546288659566961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-3433424914526601922011-01-22T21:30:09.684-05:002011-01-22T21:30:09.684-05:00They did not care much about the financial liabili...They did not care much about the financial liability, but when I mentioned they'd have moral responsibility, if someone got hurt, that gained their attention.<br /><br />As Travis says, it is big game hunting, with a rope.<br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056059/" rel="nofollow">Like John Wayne, in Daktari.</a>desert rathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02369546288659566961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-28919447306938508902011-01-22T21:23:58.242-05:002011-01-22T21:23:58.242-05:00Jeez, Good Luck. :)Jeez, Good Luck. :)Rufus IIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05297231055991566183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-16981363093234710872011-01-22T21:18:47.676-05:002011-01-22T21:18:47.676-05:00Arizona, rufus, has an equestrian activities law:
...Arizona, rufus, has an equestrian activities law:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.animallaw.info/statutes/stusazst12_553.htm" rel="nofollow">Citation: A. R. S. § 12-553</a><br /><br /><i>Last Checked by Web Center Staff: 09/10<br /><br />Summary: This Arizona statute provides that an equine agent or owner is not liable for injury if the participant took control of the equine prior to injury, if a parent or guardian signed a release on behalf of a minor, if the owner or agent has properly installed suitable tack or the participant has personally tacked the equine, or the owner or agent assigns a suitable equine based on a reasonable interpretation of the person's representation of his or her skills, health and experience with and knowledge of equines. Liability is not limited, however, when an equine owner or agent is grossly negligent or commits willful, wanton or intentional acts or omissions.</i><br /><br />We just may need a Nevada Corporation, owned by a Panamanian Corporation, both of which have ownership that is untraceable. <br /><br />Which is why the training program is turn-key and the cow catching with guests is still evolving.<br /><br />I'd hate to get someone killed, having fun. For money that is not all that much.<br /><br />While $4,800 a week is a lot to the boys, it is chump change, really, especially if someone takes a header.<br /><br />Especially when you figure we'd only go 18 times a year, at the most. The marketing costs, liability insurance and other associated costs would eat the money up.desert rathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02369546288659566961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-12481769926183683532011-01-22T21:01:13.840-05:002011-01-22T21:01:13.840-05:00Speaking of embarrassment, the Obamas always look ...Speaking of embarrassment, the Obamas always look oddly embarrassed whenever they address the little people: Like burglars mistaken for the property's rightful owners<br />----------<br />Women live 9.7 years longer than men, but waste it in their Snuggies watching Gossip Girl<br /><br />It's the 400th year anniversary today for the King James Bible, a landmark in English literature.<br /><br />"God has promised forgiveness to your repentance; but he has not promised tomorrow to your procrastination." ~ Augustine of HippoTeresitahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05528002521904908827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-13325036248821597802011-01-22T20:55:49.860-05:002011-01-22T20:55:49.860-05:00Well, they're double-fine horsemen.
I'...Well, they're double-fine horsemen. <br /><br /><br />I'd be scared to death to take "civilians" out there. Eventually, one of them is going to get hurt, and sue your ass off; and it doesn't matter how many disclaimers you have signed.Rufus IIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05297231055991566183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-13543184363209048302011-01-22T20:44:14.160-05:002011-01-22T20:44:14.160-05:00They did not know it even existed.
Fellas we'...They did not know it even existed.<br /><br />Fellas we've known for years.<br />The real deal when it come to horses, cattle and fun.desert rathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02369546288659566961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-28276743906838939392011-01-22T20:42:40.914-05:002011-01-22T20:42:40.914-05:00They first wanted advise on how to take guest on t...They first wanted advise on how to take guest on the cow hunt.<br /><br />Four guests with two wranglers out chasing the cowboys catching the cattle. $300 per day each, a four day program. It could easily become double double dangerous.<br /><br />That part of the project is evolving, but the training program was turn key ready.desert rathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02369546288659566961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-38457854856367533682011-01-22T20:31:02.370-05:002011-01-22T20:31:02.370-05:00dayyum. I can't get that picture out of my mi...dayyum. I can't get that picture out of my mind. And, not the red thong. I've actually seen a couple of shapely asses, before.<br /><br />But, I ain't never been around horses like that.Rufus IIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05297231055991566183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-52891688291637789622011-01-22T20:28:17.528-05:002011-01-22T20:28:17.528-05:00Man, thoe guys are riding some fine horses.
Those...Man, thoe guys are riding some fine horses.<br /><br />Those guys are GOOD.Rufus IIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05297231055991566183noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-71383459863225097382011-01-22T20:04:44.024-05:002011-01-22T20:04:44.024-05:00The Mustang Heritage Foundation is looking for tal...<i> <br /><br />The Mustang Heritage Foundation is looking for talented trainers who employ natural horsemanship techniques to gentle American Mustangs. The Mustang Heritage Foundation created the Trainer Incentive Program, which is better known as TIP, to bridge the gap between potential adopters and American Mustangs housed at Bureau of Land Management facilities.<br /></i><br /><br />We have quite a few fellas that can qualify, as trainers under the program.<br /><br />The trailer easily holds 8 horses.<br />It is about 8 to 10 hours to the nearest BLM facility, in California.desert rathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02369546288659566961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-16431912281179675892011-01-22T20:01:13.052-05:002011-01-22T20:01:13.052-05:00With regard the economics of those mustangs, whit,...With regard the economics of those mustangs, whit, the basic program developed by the BLM does suck.<br /><br />It is as previously described.<br /><br />There are two things that have made the proposition doable.<br /><br />1. A semi-trained 3 or 4 year old horse sells at auction for under $400.<br /><br />2.<a href="http://mustangheritagefoundation.org/" rel="nofollow">The Mustang Heritage Foundation</a>, a 501(c)(3) Non-profit has developed a <a href="http://mustangheritagefoundation.org/tip.php" rel="nofollow">Trainer Incentive Program.</a><br /><br /><i><b>HAVE WE GOT A DEAL FOR YOU</b><br /><br />Approved trainers, pick up a Mustang, gentle it and find a qualified adopter within 90 days. The reward?<br /><b> Trainers are guaranteed $700 per horse.</b><br />Qualified trainers can pick up one to four horses at a time. Facility and gentling requirements apply. To be eligible, trainers must complete an application and be approved. Trainers have 90 days to gentle the mustang and find an adopter, but the horse may be adopted after 10 days if it meets the gentling requirements. Mustangs in the TIP program must be halter broke, must be able to have each of its four feet picked up and cleaned, and must be able to load and unload from a trailer. Horses are not typically trained under saddle in the TIP program.<br /><br />TIP-trained mustangs are placed up for adoption after basic halter breaking takes place. The cost to adopt a TIP horse is only $125 – the same cost of adopting an ungentled Mustang from a BLM facility! Trainers and adopters can enter into a contract for additional training services such as saddle training once the horse is adopted.<br /><br />TIP trainers are responsible for all costs associated with the humane care of the animals while in their possession, including facility maintenance/repair, veterinarian care, farrier or disposal costs, and feed/grain and other needed supplements. Trainer will be paid once the horse is adopted and all paperwork is complete. Trainers must be at least 18 years old and have no prior convictions for inhumane treatment of animals or for violations under the Wild Free-Roaming Horses and Burros Act of 1971. </i><br /><br />My Team, already contracts with the Forest Service, removing <a href="http://www.wildcowcatchers.com/Site/Video_Clips.html" rel="nofollow">"Wild Cattle" from the Tonto.</a><br /><br /><i>Travis and Wheeler Ericsson are the products of six generations of cowboys. The sons of renowned cowboy and world champion bronc rider Dave Ericsson, they were born and raised around good horses and wild cattle.</i><br /><br />They can break a wild horse to ride, in three days.<br /><br />We'll put on adoption seminars around the Phoenix metro area every two weeks. Figure to be able to process 16 horses a month, 12 months a year.<br /><br />It should pencil out, between the Foundation monies and the add-on rider and horse training fees, after the adoption.<br /><br />They breed and raise a horse, then train it, and are getting less than the Foundation subsidy when the horse is sold at auction.desert rathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02369546288659566961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-1071913200333012352011-01-22T19:54:59.224-05:002011-01-22T19:54:59.224-05:00Fucking Bloody Capitalist.Fucking Bloody Capitalist.Rufus IIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05297231055991566183noreply@blogger.com