tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post8916443261177516358..comments2024-03-29T06:35:11.321-04:00Comments on The Elephant Bar: Oh Zuzana!Deuce ☂http://www.blogger.com/profile/13472858446242700869noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-45705144634893814652010-12-29T22:38:07.445-05:002010-12-29T22:38:07.445-05:00.
rufus said...
I have an idea sloshing around i....<br /><br /><b>rufus said...</b><br /><br />I have an idea sloshing around in the back of my head that I can't shake. It brought me wide awake after only a couple of hours of sleep. It's been "bothering" me for several weeks, now.<br /><br />I'm going to call it "The Plan." It excites me, but it "worries" me. Am I going to have to, actually, do something about it? What? It's going to be a huge "pain in the ass" if I do. It has the potential of completely screwing up a "peaceful" retirement.<br /><br />I think I'll kind of work out a few of my thoughts, here, over the next few weeks, months, whatever. Bear with me. I know you are all Expert "Scrollers," so feel free to "Scroll away."<br /><br /><br /><b>"The Plan"</b><br /><br />To show that Tunica County, Ms. can become Entirely Energy Self-Sufficient. To lay out a groundwork for producing 100% of the Fuel Transportation, and Electricity the County needs, locally, and without using any finite fossil fuel supplies.<br /><br />Also, "The Plan" is intended to "Lower" the costs of energy for the County, while providing many good-paying jobs, and, within 10, or so, years culminating in utility bills at least 50% lower than today.<br /><br />"The Plan" will utilize Wind Power, Solar Power, and Biomass to produce Ethanol, and Bio-Diesel. It will have to pass "Real World" Tests. The Costs will have to be In-line with "Established" Industry Standards, and the ideas will have to be "Implementable" in the "Real World”…<br /><br />…With Deuce's indulgence I'll pick this up a little later. I'm going to go for a drive.<br />Wed Nov 24, 02:31:00 AM EST<br /><br /><br /><br />Alright Rufus come on up and collect this hardware. You’ve got a flock of bears here.<br /><br />“Come on up Ruf… Hey, will someone kick that guy. Aw, never mind. Let him sleep.”<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-17914757450298185542010-12-29T22:29:03.226-05:002010-12-29T22:29:03.226-05:00.
Trish once said, “You can’t use the archives to....<br /><br />Trish once said, “You can’t use the archives to… Well, you just can’t”<br /><br />Well, as you see we just did. Once in cyberspace always in cyberspace.<br /><br />But we can’t leave ol Ruf hanging. Therefore, we are also awarding him the Bosco for the <b>Now You’re Talking</b> award for <b>The Plan</b>.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-71605832525618458482010-12-29T22:08:55.972-05:002010-12-29T22:08:55.972-05:00.
1. The Assumed Ladder Series
rufus said...
....<br /><br />1. The <i>Assumed Ladder</i> Series<br /><br /><b>rufus said...</b><br /> <br />The Deficit will be Huge. It will be well over a Trillion Dollars. It Won't be $1.47 Trillion. Not that it matters; It's still Huge.<br /><br />Interesting question: How do you "fix" it? Really?<br /><br />Better question: How do you get it down to a manageable 2% of GDP?<br /><br />Will all of this work out just like I'm saying? Of course not. Our economy is much too complex, and dynamic for such simple analysis. However, this goes to show that we're Not looking at the intractable, systemic problems that should make you go looking for a tall building. Our problems are manageable.<br /><br />Some, however, are much more serious than this one. <b>The budget deficit is, actually, the Easiest problem we are facing.</b><br /><br />Basically, you have to chop a $Trillion. Hmm. First, what happens if we can get back to 5% unemployment? 8 Million people back to work would pay about, oh, I don't know, let's say $400 Billion. <br /><br />That puts us down to $600 Billion shortfall to overcome. Cancel out the Police Action in Iraq, and the whatever it is in Afghanistan - Probable Savings $200 Billion. We're down to $400 Billion. <br /><br />Raise top rate to 39% - Approx increase in Revenues $500 Billion. Oops, we just overshot our mark by $100 Billion. Tweak Soc Sec by comb. of raising age of max benefits a couple of years, raising the max income SS Taxes are paid on, and indexing to inflation, rather than wages. Savings approx $100 Billion/Yr.<br /><br /><br />These actions recoup $1.2 Trillion Dollars, and would leave us with a Deficit of approx 1%, or a little less, of GDP - Basically, a "balanced budget."<br /><br />Sun Jul 25, 10:38:00 AM EDT<br /><br /><br />And there you have it folks. No problem. The Classic Rufus we all know and love. <br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-4894207247214777532010-12-29T21:47:29.022-05:002010-12-29T21:47:29.022-05:00.
All right folks, we’re back and things seem to ....<br /><br />All right folks, we’re back and things seem to have settled down over in the VIP section, although I see Robert Gibbs and Michaele Salahi are missing. Damn, over in the <i>Dick’s Section</i>, it looks like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid also have gone AWOL. At this rate, we won’t have any audience left.<br /><br />Well, anyway our next award will be presented by Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman.<br /><br />He will be presenting the Bosco for <b>Economic Genius</b> award to Rufus for this economic series of posts.<br /><br />1. The <i>“What Me Worry” Series</i><br /><br /><b>rufus said... </b><br /><br />"They "might" be able to bring this puppy in at -$990 Billion. I'm not betting on it, but it's "possible." <br /><br />Mon Apr 12, 02:44:00 PM EDT <br /> <br /><br /><b>rufus said... </b><br /><br />"In fact, it might be quite a bit less than that. April is the biggie. Absolutely no idea how April (the month we normally run a pretty good surplus - except last year - will come in.)"<br /> <br />Mon Apr 12, 04:00:00 PM EDT<br /> <br /> <br /><b>rufus said...</b><br /> <br />"Po ol' Rufus. They tol him how stoopid he wuz when he said the Budget Deficit might come in under a Trilyun, insted a that 1.5T they wuz all talkin about."<br /><br />"Gotch'er $1.5T right'cher young'uns. "<br /><br />Mon Apr 12, 04:05:00 PM EDT <br /><br /> <br /><b>rufus said... </b><br /><br />"Where'd everbody go? Did they all go home? Don' wanna play no more?" <br /><br />Mon Apr 12, 04:08:00 PM EDT <br /><br /><br />Classic Rufus. But it doesn’t stop there.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-34308545011073557202010-12-29T21:18:36.786-05:002010-12-29T21:18:36.786-05:00.
This year’s third nominated song is
Hotel Cali....<br /><br />This year’s third nominated song is <br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ygI3BZxdCY" rel="nofollow">Hotel California</a> by the Eagles.<br /><br />Those boys can crank it out.<br /><br />Back in a moment.<br /><br />Commercial:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbpytGbgTF4" rel="nofollow">Satisfaction</a><br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-47865394307168812942010-12-29T21:09:03.786-05:002010-12-29T21:09:03.786-05:00.
The Tao for … Whoa, wait a minute.
Sorry folk....<br /><br />The Tao for … Whoa, wait a minute.<br /><br />Sorry folks. We are going to have to break off the Tao Awards at this point. It appears they are losing control over in the V.I.P. section. Oprah Winfrey looks drunk as a skunk and is sitting on the President’s lap. Obama has one hand holding a <i>Heineken</i> and the other on Oprah’s ass. He’s smiling like crazy and occasionally giggling. Security is also stepping in to break up what could turn into a fight between Pee Wee Herman and Lebron James. Pee Wee looks really ticked and is motioning for Lebron to bring it on.<br /><br />Tareq Salali is watching the exchange and doesn’t seem to notice that Robert Gibbs is hitting on his wife. <br /><br />Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney have an a capella version of <i>Ebony and Ivory</i> going but it looks like they are motioning for rat to come join them with his trumpet.<br /><br />It may take a while to restore orders folk, so why don’t we cut to our third nominated song for <b>EB Song of the Year</b> and then cut directly to commercial.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-37477433082896851832010-12-29T21:05:36.294-05:002010-12-29T21:05:36.294-05:00.
The Toa of LT award goes to LT for,
linearthin....<br /><br />The Toa of LT award goes to LT for,<br /><br /><b>linearthinker said...</b><br /><br />Narcissism, alcohol, and presumably a missed dosage of lithium.<br /><br />There's a volatile combination.<br /><br />Sat Jul 31, 08:22:00 PM EDT<br /><br /><br />Good job. Another poster we don’t see around the old bar enough.<br /><br /><br /><br />The Tao of Selah award goes to Selah for,<br /><br /><b>Teresita said...</b><br /><br />"I Refudiate Barack Obama's contention that there are 57 States."<br /><br />Sun Jul 25, 06:23:00 PM EDT<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-92016928322845041652010-12-29T21:00:02.631-05:002010-12-29T21:00:02.631-05:00.
We thought it was important to recognize the si....<br /><br />We thought it was important to recognize the singular contribution of many of posters as they offered up “Great Thoughts” over the past year. So we have established a special awards category called the <b>TAO Award</b>.<br /><br />This year’s Toa Awards <br /><br />The “Tao of Doug” award goes to …well…to Doug for:<br /><br /><b>Doug said...</b><br /><br />"You guys disgust me:<br /><br />The way forward is obvious -<br /><br />Sandmonkeys in Space,<br />Followed by Towellheads on Mars."<br /><br />Tue Jul 06, 07:47:00 AM EDT<br /><br />Keep em coming Doug.<br /><br /><br /><br />The “Tao of Trish” award goes to Trish for:<br /><br /><b>trish said...</b><br /><br /><i>"Still wandering, aimlessly, around, sniveling, and snuffling, I see."</i><br /><br />"Someone needs a comma intervention."<br /><br />Mon Jul 05, 04:14:00 PM EDT<br /><br /><br />Special thanks to the comma lady. <br /><br />Give her a hand.<br /><br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-9989046438073663142010-12-29T20:54:12.761-05:002010-12-29T20:54:12.761-05:00.
And for another EB beauty, the Bosco for the Sl....<br /><br />And for another EB beauty, the Bosco for the <b>Slip Sliding Away</b> award goes to our own Ms. Stella B. Starlight for this one.<br /><br /><b>Stella B. Starlight said...</b><br /><br />"Today, Barack Obama slipped into something more comfortable, Afghanistan, instead of Michelle."<br /><br /><br />Let’s give her a hand folks. We don’t see her in the bar nearly enough.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-19969469050842871692010-12-29T20:46:45.752-05:002010-12-29T20:46:45.752-05:00.
The Bosco for the When the Worm Turns Award goe....<br /><br />The Bosco for the <b>When the Worm Turns Award</b> goes to that sophisticated Cleaning Lady for this gem.<br /><br /><b>The Cleaning Lady said...</b><br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Y_6H617Fcs" rel="nofollow">Broke into the wrong goddam rec room</a><br /><br />Manana<br /><br />Wed Oct 20, 04:03:00 PM EDT<br /><br /><br />And the Cleaning Lady also rakes in the Bosco for the <b>Meeeoww!</b> award for this one<br /><br /><br /><b>The Cleaning Lady said...<</b><br /><br />Three guys do lunch. Shit-for-brains, Dweeb-boy and Fatso have a great time. Three girls do lunch and Betty, Sue, and Mary have a nice chat.<br /><br />The $40 check arrives. The three guys each throw down a $20 and walk out. The girls whip out their calculators.<br /><br />This gal, Heidi doesn't do it for me. Looks like a souped-up stretched-out steroidal version of Brittany Spears, Jessica Simpson and Pamela Sue, with a little pouty LiLo thrown in. She's no Catherine Zeta Jones or Halle Barry or Harris Faulkner (CNN info babe) let alone Liz Taylor when she was young.<br /><br />And I say that as a straight person.<br /><br />IIRC.<br /><br />Thu Sep 16, 03:05:00 PM EDT<br /><br /><br />Good work Cleaning Lady.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-42907192591366986282010-12-29T20:02:34.811-05:002010-12-29T20:02:34.811-05:00.
Moving on, this year’s Uh Huh. Right award agai....<br /><br />Moving on, this year’s <b>Uh Huh. Right</b> award again goes to Rufus for this gem:<br /><br /><b>rufus said...</b><br /> <br />"I shudder to do this, but I'm going to venture another opinion."<br /><br /><br /><br />“Shudder to do this?”<br /><br />Uh huh. Right.<br /><br />Good job Ruf.<br /><br />You had us going there for a minute with that one.<br /><br /><br /><br />This year’s <b>So’s Your Mother Award</b> goes to rat for:<br /><br /><b>desert rat said...</b><br /> <br />"I have friends who have roped bears, from horse back, in the Tonto Basin.<br /><br />Bring 'em on…"<br /><br />Wed Apr 07, 02:45:00 PM EDT<br /><br /><br /><br />Impressive and scary at the same time. Thank you rat.<br /><br /><br /><br />The <b>You Guys Give Me A Headache Award</b> goes to Whit for:<br /><br /><b>whit said...</b><br /> <br />"Obstreperous truculence at the EB: that is the new normal."<br /> <br />Tue Apr 06, 05:35:00 PM EDT <br /><br />Another great effort Whit. Thanks.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-53891075434139304872010-12-29T19:49:55.683-05:002010-12-29T19:49:55.683-05:00.
Well, unfortunately, I have to announce that we....<br /><br />Well, unfortunately, I have to announce that we will not be awarding the <b>To Lazy to Link Award</b> this year. As you know, the award was initially meant to recognize Trish’s lack of contribution in the <i>link</i> area; however, this year there were just too many nominees with basically the same qualifications.<br /><br /><br />I should also mention that this year’s <b>Best Urban Fly Fisherman</b> award will also not be awarded.<br /><br />We can, however, show you some of the posts that would not have been considered even if we had awarded that Bosco.<br /><br />From Rufus,<br /><br /><b>rufus said...</b><br /><br />"The only reason Clan Rufii uses bait is dynamite is too expensive."<br /><br />Sun Aug 01, 04:24:00 PM EDT<br /><br /><br /><br />From linearthinker,<br /><br /><b>linearthinker said...</b><br /><br />"Why I bait fish."<br /><br />From the link: <br /><br />Ok this post is for all the hippie fly fishers out there that are to stoned to realize what a real women is. Everyone knows that real women fish bait!!<br /><br />...and a bit farther down, below the eye candy...<br /><br />Truckee River Outfitters closing its doors...since most people in Truckee use bait there is no need for a fly fishing shop...When your entire customer base consists of stoned hippies how do you expect to have competent fisherman to buy anything?<br /><br />Sun Aug 01, 03:59:00 PM EDT<br /><br /><b>linearthinker said...</b><br /><br />Yes, Quirk. For the riffraff who need some assistance:<br /><br />...scrolling down at the same link: <br /><br /><a href="http://tahoemtb.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/jesus_161.jpg?w=320&h=450" rel="nofollow">Jesus used bait!!</a><br /><br />Sun Aug 01, 04:10:00 PM EDT<br /><br />Good posts guys.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-41369531719413665462010-12-29T19:40:19.745-05:002010-12-29T19:40:19.745-05:00.
Speaking of insight. I am proud to award a new....<br /><br />Speaking of insight. I am proud to award a new Bosco this year for a category called the <b>Mensa</b> award.<br /><br />As you know many people consider the regulars at the EB to be nothing more than an oddball collection of mercs, marauders, ex-service hard cases, men of mystery (well at least one), chicks, and demimondes. We get no respect. Well we have welcome a new member to our little congregation who has changed all that.<br /><br />This summer we welcomed The Cleaning Lady to our little group. She is being awarded the Bosco for this erudite post.<br /><br /><b>The Cleaning Lady said...</b><br />From the Baja Arizona link above:<br /><br />“It is the job of government to manage the flow of money.”<br /><br />The above statement is one formulation of Lester Thurow's Third Way theme postulating a more aggressive role for government in free market capitalism.<br /><br />The article continues:<br /><br />We have done a really poor job of managing the flow of money in our country. It concentrated into Wall Street schemes. It flowed overseas. It went everywhere expect in creating employment here in America.<br /><br />It seems to me that (real) enforcement - as opposed to the cozy incestuous relationship that currently exists between the doers and the regulators - would do a lot to 'manage the flow of money.'<br /><br />Actually it isn’t the “government” that is the source of the misdirected money flow…it is the special interests who manipulate the government for their private gain without any regard for the broader societal benefits.<br /><br />This is where the Third Way thinking goes off the rails - every time, I might add, that Third Ways are proposed. This is the essence of an emerging theory going under the label of Creative Capitalism (google Bill Gates).<br /><br />'Broader societal benefits' as a corporate objective. Doesn't much matter whether or not it works - or makes sense. The Third Way is coming.<br /><br />The author goes on to suggest vision statements and win-win agendas to define 'social agendas' that escape the death trap of socialist labeling.<br /><br />I agree with his concluding statements:<br /><br />Republicans don’t have a positive agenda here.<br /><br />But neither do the Democrats.<br /><br />I would add neither does the Tea Party movement - without an intellectual foundation to give defined substance to the rebellion, it will remain nothing but a knee-jerk reaction to status quo policies.<br /><br />Wed Sep 08, 09:14:00 PM EDT<br /><br /><br /><br />As whit correctly states,<br /> <br /><b>whit said...</b><br /><br />Nice observations, Cleaning Lady. We haven't had enough thoughtful discourse in the bar, lately. <br /><br />Re: Third way. The country is sharply divided and high-powered emotions swing the pendulum widely.<br /><br />Sat Sep 04, 05:00:00 PM EDT<br /><br />Exactly.<br /><br />Good job Cleaning Lady. Thanks for raising the level of discourse here at the EB. Have to admit it’s way above my head but I doubt them jerks from <i>Pajamas Media</i>, <i>Ballon Juice</i> and <i>The Belmont Club</i> will be coming around here soon casting aspersions with you on our team.<br /><br />Booyah.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-58843066517169604702010-12-29T19:31:36.082-05:002010-12-29T19:31:36.082-05:00.
The next Bosco is for The Eternal Question Awar....<br /><br />The next Bosco is for <b>The Eternal Question Award</b>. This year’s winner is Whit for this brilliant contribution:<br /><br /> <b>whit said...</b><br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKpX-5jQjQ0&feature=related" rel="nofollow">Who am I? Why am I here?</a><br /><br />Tue Jul 27, 08:59:00 PM EDT<br /><br />All right Whit. Yea, show him the love folks. <br /><br />Good job Whit.<br /><br /><br />The next award is <b>The Most Insightful Observation Award</b>. This year’s winner is Melody for this most insightful observation:<br /><br /> <b>MeLoDy said...</b> <br /> <br />Universal truth #3<br /><br />"There is great need for sarcasm font."<br /><br />Thu Jun 03, 12:04:00 PM EDT<br /><br />All right Melody! We need to give you an extra three stars for that one Mel. <br /><br />Excellent.<br /><br />Hey, I was kidding before, but now lay of those Bugles! <br /><br />Crazy chick. <br /><br />(But what a body eh guys. Woof!).<br /><br />Let’s give her a hand.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-41638540385119563692010-12-29T18:37:49.417-05:002010-12-29T18:37:49.417-05:00.
Now in rapid order we wish to announce the foll....<br /><br />Now in rapid order we wish to announce the following awards:<br /><br />The Bosco for <b>Best Contribution to the English Language Award</b> goes to Trish for the phrase “Masturbatory Malice”. <br /> <br /><b>trish said...</b><br /><br />Which do you think is more effective, (bleep), in the art of persuasion? Unctuous condescension, sneering contempt, or savage abruptness? (We'll leave out <b>masturbatory malice</b> because it's not really an approach per se, is it? Rather a form of self-amusement, as (bleep) will attest.)<br /> <br />I'm conducting a survey.<br /><br />Tue Apr 20, 07:16:00 PM EDT<br /><br />The award recognizes not only the implied meaning of the idiom but also the coining of a new word, “masturbatory”. <br /><br />Good work Trish.<br /><br />(Note: Some at the EB have objected to this award on the basis that masturbatory is a derivation of the Latin word <i>masturbe</i> which actually finds its provenance in the ancient Hebrew word <i>jerkmeoff,</i>. Research has failed to prove this etymology and the award will stand.)<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-67649737415514826992010-12-29T18:33:29.095-05:002010-12-29T18:33:29.095-05:00.
On with the ceremony, and surprisingly, Rufus a....<br /><br />On with the ceremony, and surprisingly, Rufus and Doug also share the Bosco <b>Retrograde Award</b> for the following subsequent posts:<br /><br /><b>rufus said...</b><br /><br />Fuck Luke. Fuck Seven Sins, and Fuck Seven Devils. Fuck Childrens Fairy Tales, and those that would use them to get My Kids Killed.<br /><br />Those Afghanis don't give a good goddamned what we do. They are Not our Friends, and they are NOT our Enemies. They are poor people that mostly never get more than 7 miles from their village.<br /><br />Why in the Fuck should we want to kill children in Kandahar? Why in the Fuck are we guarding poppy farms? Why in the Fuck do we let the Elitist Cocksuckers do this to us?<br /><br />Oh yeah, I forgot; They read us a "Bible Verse."<br /><br />FUCK<br /><br />Sun Jul 18, 08:12:00 AM EDT<br /><br /><br /><br />And Doug said<br /><br /><b>Doug said...</b><br /> <br />FUCK YOU, MORON!<br /><br />Fri Jan 22, 02:05:00 PM EST<br /><br /><br /><br />Running out of the money but in a close third in the balloting was Sam for this contribution.<br /><br /><b>sam said...</b><br /><br />Fuck.<br /><br />Thu Nov 04, 11:41:00 PM EDT<br /><br /><br /><br />Commendable guys. I guess.<br /><br />Waiter, could you take these awards and get them over to the guys? Thanks.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-18924771061349272702010-12-29T18:27:20.911-05:002010-12-29T18:27:20.911-05:00.
Well guys, as you know people take this blog pr....<br /><br />Well guys, as you know people take this blog pretty seriously. Sometimes the debate gets a little heated. Words are thrown about that probably shouldn’t be. Sometimes there are even instances of profanity. Because of the freewheeling open aspect of the bar these remarks are rarely censored. <br /><br />Therefore, we have taken on the responsibility of rewarding those who rise above the crass verbiage. People who have the ability to rise above the vulgarity and express their disagreements in acceptable language.<br /><br />This year, there are duel recipients of the Boscos for the <b>Best Put-Down Without Resorting to Profanity Ex-f’n</b> award. It goes to Rufus and Doug for the following posts:<br /><br />Rufus<br /><br /><b>rufus said...</b> <br /><br />f'n doo-doo head <br /><br />Mon Apr 05, 02:32:00 PM EDT <br /><br /><br />Doug<br /><br /><b>Doug said...</b> <br /><br />f'n running dog socialist! <br /><br /><br />Way to go guys. Thanks for adding a little class to the old EB.<br />Why don’t you come up and get your awards? <br /><br />Whoops. It looks like Rufus is momentarily passed out. And as I’m looking at Doug he’s still talking to Danica and doesn’t seem to realize he has won this prestigious award.<br /><br />We’ll have to get the guys their awards later.<br /><br />I notice rat just slipped something green back into his sack. We’ll be keeping an eye on him tonight.<br /><br />Especially after this<br /><br /><br /><b>desert rat said...</b><br /><br /><br />You got stuff?<br /><br />Want to share?<br /><br />Mon May 24, 11:09:00 PM EDT<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-6116255478813248662010-12-29T17:42:11.941-05:002010-12-29T17:42:11.941-05:00.
Well, it’s time for our second “Song of the Yea....<br /><br />Well, it’s time for our second “Song of the Year” nominee.<br /><br />And the second nominee is”<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Fulz4ytZ54&feature=av2n" rel="nofollow">I Love This Bar</a> (sung by Toby Keith)<br /><br /><br />Thanks Toby. That was Great.<br />Give em a hand folks.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-79899687662366130562010-12-29T17:39:35.556-05:002010-12-29T17:39:35.556-05:00.
Ok, we’re back and I notice that what appear to....<br /><br />Ok, we’re back and I notice that what appear to be TSA guys have the guy in the Mr. Potato Head suit in cuffs and they’re talking to Deuce at the bar. Deuce is now gesturing to the ‘time out’ seat with the dunce’s cap over here in the corner, and after a brief discussion, one of the TSA guys is taking the head off the costume.<br /> <br />Damn. It’s Ash. Who woulda thunk it?<br /><br />They are uncuffing and releasing Ash and it looks like his first priority is to get a drink. He’s heading for the bar.<br /><br />I gotta say it, “I love this bar.”<br /><br />You people are crazy. Bat-fuck crazy.<br /><br />“Hey, Melody."<br /><br />"I’ve been watching you. Saves some of those Bugles for the rest of us."<br /> <br />"Heh. Heh."<br /><br />"Just kidding. Just kidding. Bon Appetit. Knock yourself out.”<br /><br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-44429328038337613152010-12-29T17:29:14.046-05:002010-12-29T17:29:14.046-05:00.
Whenever a vote is taken at the EB, the followi....<br /><br />Whenever a vote is taken at the EB, the following post has always garnered a lot of applause. The Bosco for the <b>Better Safe Than Sorry Award</b> award goes to everyone who has ever written one of these<br /><br /><b>Comment deleted</b><br />This post has been removed by the author.<br />Sat May 29, 03:55:00 PM EDT<br /><br /><br />Now, our last award at today’s luncheon was presented to Deuce for his continuing brilliance in bringing stellar artwork to enhance the posts here at the Elephant Bar. It was a difficult choice because of the magnitude of fine art Deuce has posted this year. That being said, our choice for this year’s Bosco for <b>Best Art of the Year</b> is awarded to <br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_n-njTteDnPw/TEGYSRD2LOI/AAAAAAAAFLc/Us0iiuSFZR8/s1600/elephants-desert-800.jpg" rel="nofollow">Why is it so Damn Hot? Elephants in the Desert</a><br /><br />Beautiful.<br /><br /><br />Well, we are going to take a quick commercial break and be back in a moment.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRiYkwtBK34" rel="nofollow">Four Banned Commercials</a><br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-70461082360567460642010-12-29T17:22:13.505-05:002010-12-29T17:22:13.505-05:00.
(Sam continued...)
The few posts are just a sa....<br /><br />(Sam continued...)<br /><br />The few posts are just a sample of Sam’s best work. There are dozens more including<br /><br />‘How To Get A Cork Out’<br />‘F-18’<br />‘Fighter Planes’<br />‘Ornithopter’<br />‘Spider on Drugs’<br />‘Battle of Derepet’<br />‘Saw Stops’<br />‘Sport Jumps’<br />‘Drummer’<br />‘Personal Mobility Device’<br /><br />They just go on and on.<br /><br />And my personal favorite and tonight’s winner<br /><br />Sam said...<br /><a href="http://www.wolframalpha.com/screencast/introducingwolframalpha.html" rel="nofollow">WolframAlpha Intro</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.wolframalpha.com/" rel="nofollow">WolframAlpha Site</a><br /><br />Tue Jun 08, 02:32:00 AM EDT<br /><br /><br />“Good work Sam. Let’s try to make it a twofer in 2011. “<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-30389455854201984032010-12-29T17:13:17.261-05:002010-12-29T17:13:17.261-05:00.
(Sam continued...)
sam said...
Human Ventriloq....<br /><br />(Sam continued...)<br /><br />sam said...<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htU6qYsLsEE" rel="nofollow">Human Ventriloquist</a><br /><br />Thu Sep 30, 01:15:00 AM EDT<br /><br /><br />Sam said...<br /><a rel="nofollow">Hotel Room Security</a><br /><br />Mon May 24, 12:09:00 AM EDT<br /><br /><br />Sam said... <br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfnkvh3eBok&feature=related%22" rel="nofollow">Wrong Hole</a><br /><br />Thu Apr 29, 09:30:00 PM EDT<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-54755752518619667492010-12-29T16:47:23.512-05:002010-12-29T16:47:23.512-05:00.
The next Bosco is for EB Beauty Queen Award. T....<br /><br />The next Bosco is for <b>EB Beauty Queen Award</b>. The nominees were all the header ladies posted by Deuce and Mel on the monthly horoscopes.<br /><br />This years <b>Miss Elephant Bar</b> is<br /> <br /><a href="http://www.fashionclothingtoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Dragon-Tattoo-20119.jpg" rel="nofollow">Miss Cancer</a><br /><br />The <b>Miss Congeniality Award</b> went to <br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_lPp-vp_iYSw/THPtKoBAF6I/AAAAAAAAAYY/0Q1wwLTJW8U/s1600/3c.jpg" rel="nofollow">Miss Capricorn</a><br /><br />Two truly beautiful ladies. It’s a shame neither can be here tonight to help us celebrate.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-5251527742527461902010-12-29T16:26:21.371-05:002010-12-29T16:26:21.371-05:00.
All right our next awards group includes catego....<br /><br />All right our next awards group includes categories where many of the award nominees were unable to attend tonight’s show. Therefore, the Committee held a pot-luck luncheon this afternoon to honor those nominees.<br /><br />The first award in this group is for <b>Best Foreign Language Post</b>. The nominees are <br /> <br />1. Gag Reflex for: “Qu'ils mangent de la brioche”<br /><br />Translation (French to English): “Let them eat cake.”<br /> <br />2. 咪摩兔 for:<br /><br /> 咪摩兔 said...<br />信貸<br />代書 <br />融資 <br />週轉<br />汽車借款<br />Fri Oct 15, 11:13:00 PM EDT<br /><br />Translation (Chinese to English): “Amy said ... Mount rabbit financing revolving credit car loans scrivener.”<br /><br />3. Trish for:<br /><br />trish said...<br /> <br />"I have my opinion on Iran; you have yours."<br /><br />I thought maybe, just maybe, the rough measurement of "so little" came from some visibility on the matter.<br /><br /><b>But, since here we are dealing merely in opinions, the very extent to which current goings-on - hardly a revolution but somewhat protracted turmoil, say - are not associated with us, with the Israelis, with the Sauds, is a very good thing. For this reason - along with the relative ease of abandoning any particular program, with no one the wiser, should it be headed south - covert operations were invented.</b><br /><br />It would kinda spoil everything if the world were truly privy to the sources and amount of involvement, if any.<br /><br />Thu Feb 11, 06:05:00 PM EST<br /><br />Translation (Trish to Normal English): Plausible deniability is a good thing. [We think]<br /><br />4. The last quote also comes from <br /><br />Trish for: “Quirk! Es tut mir leid!”<br /><br />Translation (German to English): “Quirk, I’m sorry.”<br /><br />By unanimous decision the committee awards the “Best Foreign Language Post” Award to Gag Reflex. (Though, there is still some confusion as to whether the phrase means “Let them eat cake” or “Let them eat pot” either version seems to work.)<br /><br />Our winner:<br /><br />Gag Reflex said...<br /><br />Qu'ils mangent de la brioche<br />Fri Aug 06, 05:32:00 PM EDT<br /><br />Accepting for Gag Reflex is a Jerry Lewis impersonator.<br /><br />Trish’s nomination for “Quirk! Es tut mir leid!” really had little chance of winning but I just really like hearing her say it.<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21297199.post-80999531089693400082010-12-29T16:16:30.197-05:002010-12-29T16:16:30.197-05:00.
The next award will..
Excuse me folks, we need....<br /><br />The next award will..<br /><br />Excuse me folks, we need to pause one minute. The band is starting up “Hail to the Chief” and Barack Obama is now entering the bar. All rise to greet the President as he is led to his seat in the VIP Section by Stevie Wonder. This is causing a little confusion since someone usually has to help Stevie get to his seat. Quite a bit of damage is occurring as he keeps tripping over tables and spilling drinks. Whit’s over there now and is leading the president to his seat. <br /><br />Stevie now has hold of Oprah’s right boob and she is trying to fend him off. Pee Wee Herman is trying to help.<br /><br />I just overheard Lebron James say, “Stevie, you are one crazy dude. Man, wierd stuff.”<br /><br />Whit is now shooing Tareq Salahi out of Obama’s seat while Michaele Salahi is asking a security guard to take here picture posing with Paul McCartney. Oprah’s seated now and things seem to be calming down. However, Stevie Wonder is still over talking to the wooden cigar store Indian Deuce installed near the bar entrance.<br /><br />“Hey, can one of you guys help Stevie get to his seat? Thank you. Yes. Thank you. And get Stevie something to drink. Thanks.”<br /><br />“And thank you rat.” I should have mentioned when I said band I meant rat. One of the guys at the <i>Souls-R-Us Army/Navy Store</i> located one of those trumpets with the recording devise that the military use for funerals. Rat was kind enough to help us out by flipping the switch and holding it to his mouth. Looked pretty damn professional too. Good job. [H/T to the rat]<br /><br />Well, now that things are settled down I guess we can resume.<br /><br />“Well, Mr. President nice of you to make it. Next time, let’s try to get here on time.”<br /><br />“Heh. Heh. Just kidding sir. It was kind of you to fit us into your schedule. This is quite an honor. Say waiter, run next door and get the President a hamburger. It’s on me. We got your back Mr. President.”<br /><br />“What a great guy.” <br /><br />“Hey, cut it out you guys. Settle down. They’re just kidding Mr. President. We all love you here at the EB.”<br /><br />.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com